A Ruin of Roses (Deliciously Dark Fairytales – B&tB Book 1)
A Ruin of Roses: Chapter 18

The next morning, I woke up facing the window, and was surprised to feel a strange sense of melancholy. There was no reason for it. It had actually been a really great evening after Hannon rescued Nyfain from the wash-up shed.

Nyfain had watched me while I made some elixir for Father and then some healing elixir for him and myself, since my arm and legs still had some healing to do. Then Hannon made stew for dinner, and we’d all crowded around the little table to eat as a family, Nyfain not seeming anxious or out of sorts at all. He’d seemed quite comfortable, actually. After dinner, Nyfain and Sable had found a song they both knew and harmonized like two masters, serenading us all.

Bedtime had been…

I let my eyes flutter shut for a moment, a smile curling my lips.

Bedtime had been completely mundane, and I’d loved it. I’d honestly needed it. No sexual confusion or pushing of boundaries. No worrying about fighting my animal or holding the line. It was just…natural. Normal.

We’d all sat in the living room for a nightcap, sipping tea that Nyfain had been kind enough to make us to compensate for not helping with dinner or cleaning up. I would’ve refused, but Hannon said that Nyfain should move around some to keep his body limber. Making tea was an innocuous task. The flavors had been a bit odd, but what could you expect from a guy who’d had servants his whole life?

Feeling supremely relaxed, we’d all headed to bed. Sable slept on the couch, and I helped Nyfain settle into my bed on his back, the bandages still on. That done, I crossed the room to change into my own pajamas.

“Do you want me to close my eyes?” he asked, his voice low and soft.

The candlelight flickered against those sharp cheekbones, throwing shadow across his eyes. I shrugged, because it honestly didn’t bother me to think of him watching, and started to change like I might’ve with Sable in the room. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I could feel him tracking each movement, watching me put things away and pad over to Sable’s bed.

After I settled, he lay with his face pointed toward me.

“Are you in pain?” I asked into the hush.

“Not at all,” he murmured. “Your remedies put mine to shame. I’m nearly at one hundred percent.”

“Not hardly. You can barely walk in a straight line. That poison did a number on your system. You’re out of danger at least, though. You’ll heal. You just need rest.”

“I know.” He paused for a moment as I got into bed, fluffing the pillow and tucking myself under the blankets. I lay on my side, facing him.

“Can I tell you something without you getting mad?” he asked.

“Probably not,” I said honestly, chuckling.

He nodded but said what was on his mind anyway.

“You are incredibly beautiful to me, and I do not just mean your appearance or your body. Down to your soul, you are beautiful. You are so honest about who you are. So free with your thoughts and emotions. Growing up, everyone around me was guarded. So closed off. But you…you have this divine light about you. This pure honesty and goodness. It shows when you work the everlass, and it shines through in your healing gifts. Your thoughtful expressions are so lovely because I can practically see the wheels in that big brain of yours turning. You’re so smart and capable, Finley. So tough and unyielding in your ability to survive. I am in awe of you. But most of all, I love your fire and your passion. I love that you refuse to let others dictate who you are. I love that you dig in and push back when I try to dominate you, challenging me to be better, stronger. It’s arousing but also… It’s just… You’re perfect. I wish I were a poet so I could express it properly. When others look at you, they might see your surface beauty. I wanted you to know that when I look at you, I see the beauty of your soul, and I am in rapture. I see you, Finley. That is what I wanted to say. I see all of you, and you are beautiful.”

A tear escaped my eye. I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever said something like that to me before. Nyfain was genuine, too—I could hear it in his tone, and feel it in his words.

My lids tugged at me, the result of a stressful few days, no doubt, and the comfort of being safe at home.

I’d dreamed of him. Of a sweet kiss on my lips, and then battles, and war cries, and the golden dragon saving the kingdom. It had been very exciting, especially since it concluded with him between my thighs. Of all the dreams I’d had, that was one of the best.

The man had a firm grip on my heart, though. That was definitely not good. I had to start distancing myself. Soon he’d be leaving, and I would let him. I had to. We were almost at the point of no return, and I could sense myself teetering on the verge of a very big mistake.

I blinked my eyes open and let the light wake me up. I felt a little hollow for some reason. I felt like something was missing. Maybe because I knew Nyfain would leave?

My animal rolled in my chest, trying to scratch her way to the surface. Her panic bled through.

Frowning, still bleary-eyed for some reason despite having slept through the night, I rolled onto my back. A soft cough came from next door, then another. Father was still hanging on.

I glanced at Nyfain as I sat up and stretched, careful not to make any noise. Then froze.

My animal scrabbled at me wildly. I shoved her down as a sick feeling curled in my gut. He was gone, the bed neatly made. There was no note. Maybe he’d just woken up before me and hadn’t wanted to disturb me.

Down the hall, I found Hannon at the kitchen table, wiping his bloodshot eyes as he held his steaming mug with a death grip. He sagged, looking as tired as I felt.

“Hey,” I said, catching Sable yawning on the couch. That was odd. Usually she was the first one up. “Have you guys seen Nyfain?”

“No. But I found his efforts from last night.” Hannon’s voice was flat, his eyes brimming with something I rarely saw in him—anger. “He wasn’t subtle.”

I shook my head. “He wasn’t subtle about what?”

“I didn’t clean up his ingredients. You’ll know what they mean.” He glanced beyond me to the kitchen and then held up the paper. “And then there is this.”

I grabbed the piece of paper. The message, written in a delicate scrawl, read: Someday you’ll forgive me. Don’t come after me; there’ll be no point. This is where our acquaintance ends. This is for the best.

There was a blank stretch of paper, as if he’d struggled for what to write next.

Remember, no cage can keep you for long. Find a way out, Finley, any way you can. You deserve to be free. Hopefully I’ll meet you in the next life when there isn’t so much standing between us. -N

That sick feeling churned in my gut. My animal roiled. It didn’t take a genius to know something was badly wrong. He’d clearly done something I wouldn’t like.

I’m not a nice guy. He’d said it once. He’d meant it a dozen times.

Breathing deeply, I padded to the kitchen to see what Hannon was talking about. The ingredients were out on the counter, clear as day. Valerian root, chamomile, and a few herbs I had in my garden that promoted deep sleep. I gave them to my father in a different recipe when the coughing got too bad.

Nyfain had effectively drugged us, and I hadn’t been the wiser because he’d chosen a collection of flavors designed to muddle the taste.

My animal kept pushing, desperate to be heard. I finally relented, opening a crack so we could communicate.

He’s gone, she said, and her panic infused me. I can’t feel his magic connecting us anymore. He cut us off.

“Finley, are your eyes glowing?” Sable said as her mouth dropped open. “Hannon, are her—”

I pushed Sable’s words to the back of my mind, focusing instead on a strange, dark hole deep inside of us.

He went back to the castle last night, I said. Obviously we wouldn’t be able to feel his power from here.

You don’t understand. Since that time we helped Hadriel, I’ve always had his dragon’s presence with me. I thought that meant we were working toward mating and just waiting for you idiots to get your shit together. It got stronger when he was here. And now it’s gone. He’s ripped it away. He’s broken the connection.

Why didn’t I know about the connection?

Because you’re dense? I don’t know. He basically blasted us with it. I accepted, and there we were.

That must’ve been what I’d thought was Nyfain’s power washing through me, sometimes held by my animal, sometimes pushed back. They’d been playing footsie for days, but I hadn’t realized it was anything permanent.

Except…she was saying it was no longer there. He’d severed it. He’d cut me out.

No, his dragon had. His dragon had apparently heard the things he’d said to me and chosen to walk away. Except animals didn’t care about social stuff. They didn’t care about kings and commoners. At least, mine didn’t.

Maybe the dragon of a prince understood things a little better.

“He’s gone,” I said flatly, not sure how to feel.

Memories flooded me. How many times had Nyfain told me what would happen if the curse was broken? Hadriel had hinted at it, too.

The demon king had killed the defenders of the kingdom. He’d killed anyone capable, for goddess’s sake. Anyone who could hold a sword or even just do their job well. Once the curse was broken, the demon king could kill Nyfain and move in. Nothing would stop him.

But that had always been the case, and Nyfain had done his duty anyway.

I remembered what he’d said the other night when the poison was taking hold.

“The last sixteen years have been misery. Each day has been worse than the last. I am so tired, Finley. I am so tired of this nightmare that never seems to end.”

Fear lodged in my middle, blotting out reason.

He’d left here half healed. He’d ventured into the wood in a weak state at night, when the demons would be prowling. He hadn’t a hope of defeating all of them in the state he was in.

But that hadn’t mattered to him. He was a man of duty, late to the game, maybe, but now the only fierce defender of the kingdom. He’d try to clear the wood even in the state he was in. I knew he’d go out and die fighting, if that was his fate, and the curse would die with him. When it did, he’d expect me to make a deal with the demon king for my family and village. For my kingdom, if possible.

Didn’t he know that was madness? I would never have let him put himself in jeopardy like this without trying to help—

And that was why he’d drugged me. Because he knew that I’d follow and try to help him. We’d always had our differences, and half the time he’d annoyed the shit out of me, but that didn’t matter when it came to helping people. He knew I would go down with him if it came to it. And he clearly would not suffer putting me in harm’s way.

Well, fuck that. I was not some delicate flower, and this time he’d gone too far.

I ran into my room, changed, grabbed my trusty pocketknife, an older dagger that would have to do, and ran out the front door. If he wanted me to play hero, I would.

And I’d make him my damsel.