Arranged To The Alpha
Chapter 70

Blake:

I ran my finger over my wife’s back as she lay on my chest.

I could tell that she was scared of what was going to happen. It was something that I didn’t need her to tell me about. It was something that killed me inside, and just the idea of something happening to her was enough to have my heart aching.

And I had to admit, it was at that moment that I felt like I was stuck between two thick walls with no way out. Whatever the outcome would be, I knew that it would cost her life, and though I didn’t voice it out loud, the fear that I had because of that.

“Natalia, I know that you are awake.” I said, tightening my grip around her. She ran her finger over my chest before sitting up to look at me. “What’s on your mind, princess?”

“We both know that you can easily read my mind, Blake.” She said, and I smiled, pulling her closer to connect my lips with hers. My k**s was both gentle and loving. The way she felt helpless was something that I didn’t like. If anything, it was something that hurt me inside, and that wasn’t something that I like her living through.

“I know, but I want you to voice out what you feel, baby girl. That is not something that you do often.” I said, running my finger over her lower back. The fact that I still felt guilty after breaking her soul to the point that she filed for a divorce was not something that I could get over. I looked her in the eye and she shook her head. “I am sorry, Natalia.”

She frowned in confusion, and shook her head in question. “I broke your heart, and I physically hurt you. I know that you dropped everything behind when you saw me hurt, and that is something that I should be grateful for. Any other person would have left me, or wouldn’t have put me back in their responsibility even after helping. But you helped me, stood by my side, and ignored everything that created our conflict, and that is something that I will forever be grateful for.”

“Blake, the two of us are married and you know for fact that I have a weakness toward my love for you.” She said, and I looked away from her, avoiding her eyes. “My mating bond and my love are two different things. I understand that the two of us are bound to one another, and I know for fact that our mating bond has a huge effect on the two of us. But my love for you was different, at that moment, I didn’t see my mate being hurt, I saw my love. My love was something that I was going to ignore when I filed that divorce. I knew, deep inside me, that I wouldn’t be able to break the mating bond, but I also knew that for my pride and dignity, I had to let go.”

“But you didn’t.”

“That is because I followed my love for you.” She said, making my heart swell. The pain that I felt when I got the divorce papers was something that I never imagined feeling. It was like my heart was ripped out of my chest, and I was forced to somehow accept it, and I couldn’t. letting her go was not something that I could do, and that was something that the two of us knew now. Having hurt her, I couldn’t help the pain and shame that I felt. I was a monster, and that was something that I was against; therefore, it was going to be something that I was going to make up for her.

“I know that you may think that you have a weakness toward me…”

“I know that I have one toward you, Blake.” Natalia said, stopping me. “You looking at me is enough for me to both smile or cry depending on the mood and situation. You smiling at me is something that lights up my day regardless of how dark it may seem. And you being angry with me is enough to push a dagger into my chest regardless of the light of day. I know that it may not make sense to you, but I know for fact that I no longer see my life without you. Yes, I was willing to start a new one, and I have to admit, I didn’t even know how I was going to do so.”

“But you were willing to.” I said, and she nodded, making my chest ache. The thing was, I knew that I couldn’t blame her. I had done her more bad than good, and for that, I knew that I deserved it. My beauty deserved to smile and be happy, instead, I made her cry more times than I would have done to anyone else, and that was something that I wouldn’t forgive myself for. If anything, it was something that I owed her my life form. I knew that had she not been as kind hearted, I would have lost her, it was something that I wouldn’t have allowed my sister to be put through. “What about now? Would you still be willing to let me go?”

She looked down at my chest, avoiding my eyes for a few seconds making my heart ache. I had to fight back getting into her head to find out, but seeing as she didn’t answer directly, I already had my answer. My beauty didn’t trust me, and that was something that told me that I messed up more than I could have. She masked her pain with a smile, and that was something that I chose not to see through, and that was something that I couldn’t find myself ignoring or dropping.

“The two of us are going to need time, a lot of it, Blake, to fully trust one another.” She said, avoiding my eyes as she spoke. “I would give my life for you, and I would burn the whole world for you if I need to. But the two of us…”

“Have a major gap right now.” I said, finishing her sentence. She looked me in the eye for a few seconds before she nodded. I nodded in understanding and pulled her in for a gentle k**s. It was one that I knew wouldn’t repair anything. I knew that for fact. I knew that this k**s was not going to mend the cuts that I made, nor was it going to tend to the broken heart that she had. But I also knew that I was more than willing to win her over like I have months ago. One way or the other, I knew that I had to earn her trust.

“I know that it is not what you wanted to hear, Blake…”

“I am glad that you chose to be honest with me, Natalia.” I said, stopping her. The last thing that I wanted was for her to regret being honest with me. If anything, it was something that I wanted her to be happy about.

At least I knew where I would need to start fixing the gap that we had between us. I knew where to start mending the broken pieces, and in our case, I would start with her trust. Earning her trust was something that was not going to be easy considering everything that happened, whether with me or those who were around her. And there was also the fact that we had to deal with Drake who I knew was clearly enjoying this. Whatever he was gaining out of it, the man needed to stay away from us. It was something that I knew for sure.

“The two of us are going to manage fixing things between us. I will be sure that I fight my life to do so.” I said, running my finger over her lower back, watching as she lay her head on my chest. “But first, we need to find a way out of this hell hole…”