Avenging The Triplet Alphas
Chapter 16

Ethan's POV

We sat on the rocks, basking in each other's silence as the gentle breeze swept across our faces. The sun was setting and the sight before me was as beautiful as the woman sitting next to me, caressing her stomach, her facial expression seemingly relaxed as she watched the sunset intently.

There were a lot of things I would love to discuss with her despite my reluctance to do so, it was only right that I rid myself of those negative thoughts and got on with it. What do I have to lose? Heck, I would be more devastated with myself if she decided to leave and I never tried to put up a fight to get her to stay here with the pack, especially with me.

I had my insecurities I had to deal with, maybe therapy might not be a bad idea to begin after all. If I wanted to become a mate and a father someday, my demons had to leave for me to flourish, or else it would all come crashing down before my very eyes. "I wasn't avoiding you, you know?" I began, tearing my gaze away from her face and back to the sunsetting.

"What?" Arielle blinked, as my words jolted her out of her reverie. "I got carried away, sorry."

"I wasn't avoiding you this past week," I repeated myself, still not staring at her.

"At first, I figured it was because of your duties that kept you away but your absence during dinner became suspicious," She began. "Luciana would often say you skipped dinner or you had them earlier than usual."

I remained silent, not wanting to justify my actions. I was internally battling with myself, wanting to open up to her and at the same time, I wanted to run the other way and never look back."

Arielle took my silence as permission to continue talking. "When I smell you walking in the hallway and I get excited about seeing you, you suddenly disappear and I know this is true because you know my scent already." "Arielle, I-"

"Can you let me finish?" She gave me a small smile, her eyes pleading with me. "Just let me, please."

I nodded and relaxed my shoulders.

"I know you wouldn't admit to it, that you were avoiding me but the signs are hard to miss and I know this because I've been here before." She took a deep breath and shuddered. "I am not a big fan of drawing comparisons and I'm sorry I have to do this but this was exactly how it started with the Van Tysons."

My heart went out to her as tears pooled in her eyes.

"At first, I thought it wasn't anything to worry about. They weren't absent physically but I could sense them pulling away from me. Our connection wasn't as healthy as it was the week leading up to the wedding but I disregarded it. I preferred to bask in the delusion that it was just pre-wedding jitters and they would be back to the men I fell in love with but reality had something in store for me and now, you're doing the same thing."

The tears were running down her cheeks now and I instinctively pulled her into a hug as she sobbed.

"I shouldn't have done that, not after I promised you I wouldn't be like them." I sighed. "But I had to take some time away from everyone to deal with my feelings and emotions."

"I thought you were emotionally dead?" Arielle teased as she laughed in between sobs. "What happened to you?"

I couldn't hold back my laughter. "I was. Ever since what happened with Mara, I haven't let myself get close to anyone else until recently."

She pulled away from my embrace, wiping her eyes as she stared wide-eyed at me. "What did you just say, Ethan?"

"You looked surprised like I just said the most shocking statement you've ever heard in your life."

"Have you met yourself, Ethan?" She teased, her demeanor had changed and she was suddenly happy and laughing all of a sudden.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned slightly which made her smile grow even more.

"You walk around with a brick wall in front of you. It's like you're warning everyone not to come close, else they would run into a brick wall and bounce back." She shrugged. "That's how you are. I mean, everyone knows this."

"Everyone?" She couldn't be serious. I knew I wasn't the best person to be around but I hid it perfectly behind my mask.

"I've known you for around six months and I've figured this out already. Surely, you don't expect your pack members not to have noticed it by now."

I shrugged, not bothering to say anything else. It wasn't like I had anything to say in my defense besides she was smiling again and that was all I wanted right now.

"You haven't told me what happened to you, Ethan." Arielle drummed her fingers on her lap impatiently.

"I met someone," I began. I finally decided to open up, maybe talking about it would help me with some sense of clarity. "It's nothing serious yet and I doubt it ever would be."

"What?" Arielle looked appalled. "Don't tell me you messed up already?"

"Can we forget about it already?" Deciding to bring it up may have been a mistake. I wasn't ready to tell her how I felt about her and I doubted if she was in the right place to hear this from me either.

"Don't do this, Ethan." She sighed. "I know you feel you don't know me enough to-"

"I don't know what to do with my feelings, Arielle." I cut her off quickly. "It has nothing to do with you."

"Oh," She seemed at a loss for words to say.

"It was why I took a week off from everyone to find out what I wanted."

"How did it go, did you find what you were searching for?" She asked softly.

"I tried to convince myself that my feelings weren't real, that I wasn't supposed to let myself love again or let anyone behind my brick wall like you said." I smiled wistfully, "But someone who I consider as family said something that has kept on ringing incessantly in my head ever since."

"What was it?"

"She won't Mara, she never will be."

"What are you so scared of, Ethan?" She sounded sad, the question also seemed like a rhetorical one.

"The same thing you're scared of as well, Arielle," I replied. "We've both been hurt by our mates, rejected even. It takes a lot to overcome that feeling of despair and many people never fully get over it."

"I'm scared of the same thing happening to me, I feel so much pain that I can't seem to let go." She stared off into the distance.

"How did you deal with it, Ethan?"

"I didn't. As you said, I built a brick wall to prevent anyone else from getting close to me."

"I don't want that to happen to me," Arielle laughed bitterly. "But the truth is, I don't want to feel the way I've felt over the past six months. I think I've had enough to last me a lifetime."

"What about love?" I asked her. "Do you think you can ever love someone and be mated again?"

Arielle opened her mouth and snapped it shut, subconsciously rubbing her stomach. "I would be willing to try. I want to recreate what I once had with my parents someday. That love and happiness I felt was like nothing I've ever experienced and to recreate it with my own family would be my greatest accomplishment."

I felt a flicker of hope burning within me, she wasn't giving up on love completely just yet.

What did I have to lose? Watching her leave would hurt me more than her refusal ever would.

"Have you ever considered leaving?" I asked her, trying to suppress my urge to ask her out.

"Leaving here? I don't know, Ethan. It has never crossed my mind, nor do I have any reason to leave. I feel very happy here and I would like my child to grow up in an environment where I feel comfortable but I can't rule anything out yet."

I fell silent, pondering my next question. I could feel her gaze burning through me.

"Ethan, is something wrong?" She sounded anxious and scared. "I'm not in any trouble, am I?"

"Not in the slightest." I smiled at her. "You have nothing to worry about."

"You need to tell me what's going on." She still sounded pensive and I couldn't blame her, I put her on the spot.

"I don't want you to leave."

She stared at me unblinking with her mouth hung open.

"|-"

"What if I give you a reason never to leave?" I cut in, my voice held so much conviction. This was the only shot I was going to have if I wanted to set this right.

I've pushed away every form of intimacy over the years but deep down, a small part of me has always yearned to connect with someone once again. To feel the kind of romance that would bring a different sort of love and happiness to my life and with Arielle, my want had only grown stronger and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

"How?" Arielle spluttered, finally managing to talk.

"Will you go out on a date with me?"