Beaufort Creek Shifters (10 book series)
The Wolf’s Auctioned Mate Chapter 12

Laurencia

Last night had been a roller coaster.

Fleeing the scene of a failed mugging and then trampling through the forest with a naked Wendell had granted me a mixture of feelings. We spent the night snoozing under the treehouse. Morning's first light had barely broken the horizon when we woke up and slowly made our way back to my apartment.

Silence had taken hold of our bond. He made coffee, cooked some bacon, and then offered me some before taking off to work on the treehouse again. I was left to my own devices. Which wasn't exactly a good thing or a bad thing.

Everything felt odd, strange. Even for me. I was gathering clothes and things, organizing them, cleaning dishes, and making sure we had enough boxes to spare. The treehouse wasn't done yet, but Wendell had muttered something about getting started on packing things.

I didn't like the sound of that. I didn't like the idea of leaving this space behind. It made my heart ache to think about what these walls had witnessed over the years. Any time my mind had spun out and I needed peace, I had come right back here, hidden myself under layers of silk and burned those vanilla candles down to the bottom of the glass.

Sanctuary was here. I didn't want to build my safe space anywhere else.

I shoved my hands into the sink, digging around the dishes that Wendell had left behind. Was this going to be my life now? I didn't work a bunch, so I had to guess that I would be the one at home all the time. That meant I would be the one doing the majority of the cleaning.

As organized as Wendell claimed to be, he sure forgot to clean up after himself.

Newfound irritation planted itself like a sapling in my gut. I let it bloom until its leaves were clouding my chest and crawling up my throat. I didn't see the point in moving in with Wendell into that treehouse. It wasn't like he could keep his promises. He couldn't even remember the one he made, I thought. I had to tell him last night-and then he said nothing about it.

Five years ago, Wendell had broken the silence of our afterglow to say that he would always tell me his feelings and where he stood. That kind of proclamation isn't done lightly-unless it's to twist the feelings of the receiver, to control them. What he'd done was make sure I was a reliable lay until he inevitably got tired of me.

Was that happening again? Maybe he wasn't working on the treehouse every time he left to do it. Maybe he was doing something else.

I closed my eyes, listening to the faucet run and feeling the warm water spattering against the backs of my hands. I had to think. I had to get away and think. If I stayed here and tried to organize anything, I would just end up breaking something. What was the use packing when he was just going to kick me out on my a*s, anyway?

Fear took hold and sent me flying across the room. I grabbed my special travel bag-the one that I could wear before, during, and after my shift-and tucked some comfy clothes inside. A quick trip to clear my head was just what I needed. If I stayed close by, then Wendell wouldn't be too upset with me disappearing.

I froze. Why am I even worried about that? It's not like he actually cares. He's only doing it to assert dominance.

I shook my head and resumed packing, so zoned into my task that I didn't hear my phone ring. And then it took about five minutes to find the darn thing because it had gotten buried in my bed of silk in the corner. Fluffy pillows gasped under my hands as I grabbed them. The scent of cedarwood discharged from the fabric, sending me into a haze of memories, l**t, and confused irritation.

No, his scent wouldn't take me. I wouldn't allow it. There were many things I could let slide with Wendell including his messiness, but his grip on my emotions wasn't one of them. It was something difficult to resist, challenging enough to make me want to give up. But I persisted.

Once I found my phone, I checked my missed calls. Grandpappy had been trying to get a hold of me. None of my usual alarms were going off, so I didn't worry about it too much as I went back to packing.

Gods, what was I doing? What were my alphas expecting? They had to have picked up on the crap brewing between Wendell and me before the auction. Everyone else seemed to sense that something was happening between us. Those traded looks were often assumed as glances of longing, and maybe they had been at some point, but really, they were just flashes of the past.

Any time I looked at Wendell and smiled, it was because of how he had treated me five years ago, long before he had ditched. We had been in the throes of passion. I had granted him access to a sacred part of me, to something that no one else had touched, and he had to go and pervert that action by ditching me.

So much for promises. So much for him telling me exactly how he felt.

Pain locked my limbs as I stared at my bookshelf. Technically, he had made it very evident how he felt by not showing up.

I was a fool. Wendell was just using me all over again. The only reason he had come running to my rescue was because he had followed me to the market. He probably hired those ghouls to mug me just so he could step in. That was why the second guy had been unarmed. I squeezed my eyes shut. Why hadn't I seen it coming? Was I that blind by my desires?

Well, desire could eat rocks. After pulling on my backpack, I peered out the nook window, squinting at the roads leading out to the woods. The beach called for me. The caves were waiting for my attendance. I had to get out there before my head got away with me with more realizations. With those caves, I could have a breakdown without anyone witnessing it.

My phone rang again. I stared at the screen for a while, my vision blurring with unshed tears. Through the muck of it all, I could see the letters on the screen, but I couldn't read the name. I sent it to voicemail. Whoever it was-even if it was Grandpappy-they could text me if they really needed me.

They had until sundown to get in touch. Because by then, I would be wrapped up in an oceanic cave with a nice fire warming my toes and some fish to fry.

***

Flames licked the stony wall in front of me as I dug my toes into the sand. Waves crashed just outside my door, assuring me of the proximity of the ocean and tinting the air with salty hues. A few fish that were fileted and scaled sat beside the fire along with some carrots and berries.

This would be a feast fit for a queen. Private time like this would be healing time. Nobody could suggest anything to me or interfere. I could sit with my thoughts, let them run wild, and then get back to reality when I was ready. But I wasn't sure I would ever be ready.

Spending time with Wendell wasn't supposed to be nice. I'd fallen right into his trap, succumbed to his charm before I could even formulate the right kind of plan for revenge. Technically, it wasn't too late for me to do something rash, and I also didn't feel like doing anything about it.

I just wanted to sit here and cook my fish.

After procuring the small cast-iron pan from my bag that I loved carrying with me on camping trips, I set it over the fire and added my fish. I chopped up the carrots and added them to the dish along with an herb mixture I kept in a small jar. A few spices later had my small cave smelling like a gourmet kitchen.

My life was a mess. And what was funnier was how much it wasn't really a mess. It just bothered me that Wendell was being so hot and cold with me. He couldn't remember a damn promise he made to me five years ago, but he could remember that I liked having my feet rubbed while I ate breakfast in bed. He grabbed my chin just the way I liked, yet he couldn't be bothered to trust me to walk by myself.

What the hell was his deal? Why did he want to treat me right while also planning to leave me in the dust?

You can't tell what people feel because you're too stupid to figure it out for yourself, came that scratchy voice. You might as well hit the road if you can't tell what I want from you!

I shut my eyes and pressed my palms to my eyelids.

"Stop it," I whispered. "Go away."

Nothing you do will ever be enough.

My throat pinched with an approaching sob.

Just get your shit and get out of here, Laurencia. You were a mistake. We never even wanted you!

The fish sizzled in the pan, dragging me back to the cave in time to turn it over. While I picked through the berries and popped a few in my mouth, another voice came through the mire, one that had saved me a million times and more. You're always welcome here, he had told me. Don't you worry about a thing. I'll speak to my daughter and tell her exactly how we feel about what she did.

More tears came. If Grandpappy hadn't answered the door that night, I wasn't sure what would have happened. I was in a strange city in the middle of a strange pack with strange customs. Living with a leopard mother and a human father hadn't prepared me for being around my own kind.

No wonder I was so damn weird. The people I relied on to prepare me for the world hadn't bothered to do it. But Grandpappy had. He didn't get frustrated when I didn't get something. He just kept urging me to rest first and try again later. I knew everything about the cards from him. The things I learned about gardening, farming, growing herbs, and doing magic were all from him.

Something about that missed call earlier made me feel guilty. Though I knew Grandpappy didn't demand my time, I felt compelled to give it to him. Even when he assured me that I didn't owe him my time, I didn't want to miss a minute. But if I truly felt that way, then why did I come out here?

I wrapped the cast-iron handle with a towel and removed it from the fire, placing it on the sand nearby to cool. In a few minutes, that fish and those roasted carrots would be in my belly, and I wouldn't have a care in the world. Grandpappy was probably worried about me. I should have texted him before I came out here, but I didn't want to bother him with my problems. He always picked me up when I tripped and fell. I wanted to pick myself up this time. Wendell caught me when I tripped.

That sudden thought took me by surprise. Of course, Wendell had caught me when I tripped next to him. It would have been in such poor taste if he didn't. People around here watched us closely. They did that with every mate pairing that was announced by one or both of the alphas.

There was probably someone recording the data and reporting it back to the alphas. I mean, if I had put any stock in a pairing like this one, I would want to know how it was going. Did Wendell tell Troy anything? Was that something they ever talked about? Sheesh, of course, it was. What a weird thing to think. An alpha like Troy would definitely keep an eye on his investments. Not in a bad way, but just in that investment kind of way.

I shook my head. I don't know a thing about any of this. I just feel stupid. I feel like I'm failing a test that everyone has the answers to except me.

The fish looked delicious, but I could hardly touch it. My bag looked more appealing right now. And as I reached for it, I kept the question in mind that I was trying to figure out, the very thing that kept me from completely giving myself over to Wendell. Does he love me? I thought as I shuffled my cards.

That one question kept circling my brain as I watched my fingers do their natural dance with my cards. While the rectangular pieces of cardboard appeared worn, their wisdom had helped me through plenty of rough patches over the years. Especially when I was a teenager. This was the first deck my grandfather had gifted me. It served me well.

I set down the card and scoffed.

Except for right now. "The Hermit? Really?" I tucked the card back into the deck. "Listen, I'm already doing the solitude thing. I'm searching my soul for the answer. That's why I'm asking you."

I shuffled the cards and pulled another one.

The Two of Swords stared back at me. "I'm already trying to decide. Stop telling me maybe and maybe we'll get somewhere."

When I tried to shuffle again, the cards burst from my fingers and flew everywhere. I caught them in time before any of them could fall into the fire, agitated by their insistence not to answer my damn question.

I guess I have to answer it myself, I thought. But I don't know how because I don't know his heart. How am I supposed to know if he loves me?

A flame danced particularly close to my toe, nearly scorching me. If that was the universe's joke of an answer, then I didn't see the point in ever asking them for anything again. I set the cards back in their silky pouch. I rubbed my forehead. I drew shapes into the sand. What was I supposed to do now?

The fish-it was just sitting there. While I wasn't particularly hungry, I knew I needed to eat if I wanted to get a good night's sleep. I'd have to face the heat in the morning for disappearing on everybody. It wasn't like it was the first time-nor would it be the last. All because of that big-headed wolf. He sure had a way of running me off without even trying. It was like he got under my skin and made things impossible to manage. Well, I wouldn't let him keep getting away with it. His tricks from before wouldn't work. I wouldn't let them work.

"Stupid cards," I muttered between bites of food. "Just tossing me around, huh?"

Grandpappy would have probably made a joke about determining my own fate. Yeah, there were plenty of strings in the universe leading to the same thing, but it was up to me to decide how to get there. I could do it the easy way, or the hard way. Right now, it felt like I was traversing the hard way.

I nibbled on a piece of carrot while eyeing my bag. My phone screen lit up, illuminating the forest green fabric, and showing me that I had gotten new messages in the time I'd disappeared. Probably Grandpappy. Possibly Wendell.

Despite his insistence that he was enacting duty, commitment lingered beneath that steel veneer. He followed me everywhere. Had he followed me out to this cave?

My head snapped up to check the entrance. Nothing but ocean waves slamming the sand outside. Maybe tonight was the night I had actually duped him and shaken him off.

And for some reason that I couldn't determine, that disappointed me.