Betrayed from Birth – Alpha’s Unvalued Daughter
Betrayed from Birth – Alpha’s Unvalued Daughter Chapter 106

Blake's

POV

I was hoping that Cheryl had come to my office to talk about what I brought up to her last night, but she didn't. I knew she was out there, I deliberately made her wait. I am trying to keep control over her, and Graham told me that any day she would fall in line. I knew that seeing me smiling at Kara was going to get her angry and jealous. I wanted her to react, to demand that Kara leave my office and stay away from me, but she didn't. It was like she didn't care at all what I did. I am at my wit's end with what to do. My stomach has been in knots all morning long. My wolf, Kona, is very anxious, and he keeps whining in my head. I wish I knew what the problem was with her this morning, but I am sure it is going to work itself out. I know that she was mad because I am allowing Kara to go with her. I am tired of Kara too. She is getting clingy and thinking this is a relationship, and it isn't. I am still kicking myself for going to Kara's room last night. But Graham has told me to stay with the plan. He said she would have to cave soon. That once she learned her lesson, and sent Kevin away, everything would go back to normal.

I know that Cheryl is always whining about the pain that she gets from it, but other than her losing weight, she seems fine. Plus, she refuses to sleep with me now, she forced me into doing this. I didn't want to, but Graham said that it is normal for an Alpha wolf to have additional lovers. He told me that he had them himself and Cassandra never mentioned any problems to him about it. That our higher s*x drive demanded it. It just isn't the same with them, as it was with Cheryl. I am connected with her because I love her, s*x was better, and our conversations were better. Everything was better with Cheryl than with anyone else. I loved her more before I found out that she had cheated on me, but I still love her. She deserved for me to get back at her for her own infidelity. She started this, and I was going to finish it. Hearing her crying really hurts my heart, but it wasn't my fault that she-wolves were lining up to get into my bed, well, my office to get with me. She should be proud that they wanted a piece of me, I am still a very attractive, desirable man. But I only belonged to her, just my Cheryl. We could have been happy this whole time if she hadn't turned her back on me and slept with another.

Nothing would have changed between us if she hadn't slept with Brandon. I had to go to Black Adder, to see what my competition looked like, about 7 years ago. I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I was truly sorry that I went. We were like twins, both of us with brown hair, and brown eyes, the same height and build. That is when I realized that she had never loved me. I was just a willing replacement for the man she loved. She broke my heart by knowing that important information and from that moment on, I couldn't look at her without my jealousy going into overdrive. Graham had tried to tell me why she picked me, but I refused to listen to him. Imagine my surprise when it was almost like looking in a mirror. I didn't want anyone around her, she was mine, and only mine, but with each passing month I was more furious than the previous. She used me, she probably dreamed that it was Brandon in her arms, instead of me when we had s*x.

Graham told me not to tell my ranked wolves what was happening between us. He said that they would act with more respect to Kara and the girls if I didn't, and he was right. I hated what I saw outside my office this morning, but Cheryl needs this wake-up call. She needs to know that if she doesn't stop with Brandon, I could replace her. I won't, because I love her, but I could, I just need her to stop all communication with him. For her to only have me in her heart. But I was well aware that no other woman in this pack could do the things that she could do as Luna. Cheryl cared about her people, even if they failed her as badly as I did. But I need to get Kevin out of here, he needs to go live with his father. After a while, things between me and Cheryl can settle down, and we can go back to where we were before. I saw the hurt in her eyes at my men giving the same respect they gave their Luna, to Kara. I will have to speak to them in tomorrow's meeting about it, as I cannot allow that to continue.

Cheryl was angrier this morning than she has ever been. The only time I saw her madder than this morning was the Reagan incident, and the first time I slept with Kara. I forgot she could feel it and when the door opened and I saw her face, I was glad. She looked like she wanted to murder Kara, and that was good news for me. It meant she still loved me. Which meant that we were going to be able to work things out. I honestly believed that at the time. I didn't want my pack member hurt by Cheryl when she was mad at me, so I protected her. Seeing the pain in Cheryl's eyes from that small act, made me feel like s**t, but I kept my act up. Graham had said that Cheryl was proud and had to be broken down a little for her to realize the error of her ways.

I was glad to see Cheryl jealous in front of the packhouse this morning. Maybe this can be worked out, she was right, Kara was not a good person. She used her body to get what she wanted. That was why I used protection each and every time. I didn't want any physical reminders of our time together. But I was ecstatic that Cheryl was so mad, that means she still has feelings for me. I pretended to be angry at how Cheryl spoke to Kara and managed to pry Kara off of me. I can't continue this for long, everything about her is a turn-off. Cheryl smells so good to me, being around her makes me happy. Nothing about Kara makes me happy. She was a means to an end, that is all. I wanted to take the opportunity to remind Cheryl that I still wanted her and that we should talk, very serious about the next step we needed to take.

I never expected the tears to be in her eyes. I looked at her, really looked at her, and I can see the toll that all this stress has taken on her. She looks frail now. She was always fit, and trim. She was a machine on the training grounds, and there was a reason that Kara had to be scared of her. But Cheryl really is too thin now. She never shops because she never leaves here. She still has t-shirts from when she first arrived here 15 years ago, and they swallow her now. She is wearing one of our daughter Casey's belts to hold her jeans up. She is now dangerously thin, and I can tell that her health is at risk. She rarely allows me to hold her, she fights me tooth and nail when I try, but when I do I can count all of her ribs with my thumb. I will bend first, I can't wait for her to do it, she is starving to death, and I just can't lose her.

I encourage her to eat, but she refuses, and last night when I touched her she literally threw up what little she had eaten for dinner. It has gone too far now, I cannot allow her to starve herself to death. I will tell her everything tonight, and beg for her forgiveness. Kara and the other girls can go to Aaron's pack to live to keep her from the stress of ever having to see them again. I just can't keep this pretense up anymore. Everything Graham told me to do, has completely backfired on me. How she knew instantly that he was behind it, blew my mind. I did everything to hide the fact that he was, including yelling at her when we would argue. I still to this day do not know how she knew. I refused to listen to her when she launched into complaining, as I was scared that she would see the truth of what she was saying on my face.

I wanted to kiss her so badly this morning but knew that after Kara's big performance out front just now, I knew Cheryl was not going to allow it. Even with Graham standing there, I couldn't stop myself from asking her if she was still willing to talk to me. She wasn't going to do it, I could tell from how stiffly she was sitting, so I kept my pride intact and didn't even ask. Kona was all over the place in my head whining and clearly agitated. He was turning in circles, and I sent up a prayer to the Goddess that they would be safe on their trip. Each one of them could fight very well, even the moms in the back, so I hope it wasn't an impending wreck that I felt. I have been told that Kevin is a very careful driver that doesn't take any risks, so I think that they will be fine, and I pushed his warnings down. They are ready to go, and this morning has not gone at all like I wanted it to, at all. Nothing has, and for a while now.

I can see the tears shining in her eyes, and I sighed out loud. I guess I will have to give her time to calm down. I will stop with all of them today though, I will tell the ones that are here that we are done, as soon as Cheryl leaves. I will tell Kara, who will be the most vocal in arguing about it when they return. I will not allow them to be near my family anymore, I was against it from the start, but Graham said that I had to keep firm pressure on Cheryl to get her to break, and then bend to my will. Maybe if I show her how committed to her, she will consider things going back to what they were. I have gone longer than a few weeks without s*x before. After the birth of each of my children, I can do this just fine.

I shut the door to allow them to leave, and I didn't push her anymore. I knew that she hates to cry, she feels weak when she does it. I don't want to continue down the path that we are on. Everything that Graham has suggested for me has to do has led me further and further away from where I really wanted to be. I just wanted my mate back, I chose her for a reason, she was smart, beautiful, and strong. She was the perfect choice to be my Luna. She gave me strong pups, even if one wasn't truly mine. That was the only thing that I ever had an issue with her over.

Everything else was perfect, and seamless with Cheryl. She gave me input and sat on the arm of my chair in meetings to keep me calm in serious situations. Her logic in tough choices was impeccable, and she was a fair and just leader for the pack. She didn't make rash decisions, and we were such a strong team. She had the respect of my men, not because she was my mate, but because she was their leader. In a nutshell, she was perfect, she was the best decision that I ever made, and the perfect chosen mate. She respected my ranked wolves, and they respected her, and their respect was always hard won. Except with Kara, they just saw me giving her leeway, and they followed in kind. I do not know what happened to us, or why Cheryl was willing to throw it all away, for no reason. I watched Kevin drive carefully down the driveway and then head up the road toward the highway. Kona is even more agitated, and I knew I needed to let off some steam. I went to my office to start mindlinking my girlfriends one at a time. They each reacted the same way, crying, and begging me to reconsider. They all got things out of it, it wasn't just s*x, and they didn't want to let it go. I let them get away with murder here in the pack to play up the fact that they were important to me when they honestly weren't. I gave them money and let them do what they wanted. It was a bad mistake, one that I am rectifying now. Cheryl never asks for anything, she is content with what she has and doesn't want anything replaced until it no longer works, or serves a purpose. Cheryl will be able to tell the big change here at dinner tonight. I will make this up to her. No matter what, no matter how long it takes, I swear I will repair our bond. The only thing I ask of her is for Kevin to go to Black Adder.

Seeing him every day hurts me. That fact that she betrayed me, and yet keeps him at her side, sitting right there at my table as if he belongs there. It hurts my heart, as he is not my pup. He belongs to another, someone that Cheryl has loved for far longer than me. Why she continues to flaunt the fact that I wasn't enough for her, is the reason that I feel the need to hurt her back. She had no idea how watching him on the training field upsets me. Brandon was the same way at his pack. He was a fierce fighter, and few could take him on. He was a machine going through opponent after opponent. Justin was the only man that could take him on, but Brandon and Justin had both beaten me in the sparring event. They made me look bad with how quickly they took me down in both of my sparring matches. The experience was totally humiliating to me. Yes we were training, but I am a strong Alpha, I should have been able to land some heavy blows, and at least show my own strength.

In fact, that was the whole reason I went. I wanted the excuse to be able to beat up Brandon for sleeping with my mate. It just happened to drop into my lap hearing about how they were showing new fighting techniques. I already knew that it was important with pack protection anyway, and I wanted to learn more. But what I really wanted deep down in my heart, was to get to see Brandon, my competition. It was a wake-up call when I was beaten, and so easily. I was in just as good a shape as them, but they were obviously better than me at fighting, and it had stung my pride. They were right, we did need to learn that type of defense, and I got Travis fired up about going there, and learning. He was doing pretty well before he forgot himself and hit on Brandon's mate. That was a huge mistake and caused a lot of problems.

Even with my warning to him, Travis was enamored the moment he saw Raven. She was just as beautiful as Reagan had been, but she was a nice person on top of it. When Travis saw how skilled she was as a fighter, she suddenly became his dream woman. I have to admit, that she was damned impressive. He had a flashback to that video when Reagan was trying to impersonate Raven. He felt she was the same as Reagan, as they were twins, and that she would be flattered by his advances. He thought wrong. She taught him a lesson that day, and he was no longer allowed at Black Adder to train. He was angry with Raven, Brandon, and Justin over the whole thing, because he got taught a lesson by a woman. He felt she overreacted at his invitation to sleep with him, he felt a simple, "No thank you" would have sufficed. Justin was so pissed off at what he had said that he wanted to kill Travis. They had to hold both Justin and Brandon back too when he found out about it, and they demanded that he left Black Adder right then. It was Travis' own fault, you just cannot disrespect Luna at her own pack, it was an unforgivable act. It suddenly hit me hard and I had to sink down into my chair. That was what I have been allowing here. It was an unexpected punch to the gut. I am so screwed. I permitted this whole thing to happen. I forced my mate to endure complete humiliation in her own pack. I accused her of cheating, and the whole pack knew it. I shamed her and Kevin over and over again in my anger over her actions. I empowered other women to rub it in her face that she had been replaced. I was supposed to be her biggest supporter and protector, and I completely failed her. No matter what she had done, it should have just been between us. I allowed my jealousy over her cheating, to completely poison my love for her. I should have prevented that from happening, I should never have allowed her to suffer like this. She had changed because of my callous actions. I was the one who forced her to accept this. The pack all felt that I was the one who had been cheated on and supported me and my actions this whole time.

I never wanted that to happen. I just wanted her to admit her mistake, ask for forgiveness, and then we can go back to how we were. But she refused to do it, she would not admit that she met Brandon and gave birth to his child. That was on her, not me, I had told myself as the guilt over my own terrible actions comes over me like a wave. Goddess, what am I going to do? Could I forgive Cheryl if she had brought numerous men in front of me? Had them sitting next to her at the table right in front of me? Rubbing my nose in what she was doing, and bragging about it. I already knew I wouldn't. I would have killed them on the spot for having the nerve to touch her. She is mine, she cannot belong to anyone else. The knowledge that if our roles were reversed, the actions would have never been allowed hits me hard too. I deliberately shamed her, over and over again, and now I expected her to just let it go, and come back to me. I need to show her I realize that I was wrong. I will tell her when she gets back that I am done will all the girls, and I will even allow Kevin to stay here too. I won't allow him to be bullied anymore. I will protect both him and his mother, and I will straighten out the pack too. I will make sure the moment they come back that they know that things are going to change for the better around here.

I sit there thinking of what I can do to show her how sorry I am, and my first few ideas fall short. She doesn't shop for herself the clothes. Jewelry, or purses, will not be appreciated. That is something that the girlfriends would want because they are materialistic, but not Cheryl. I know that she only asked for the money because Kevin needs a whole new wardrobe. All of his pants are too short, and he can only wear shorts now. He needs new pants, shirts, shorts, shoes, well pretty much everything. He has outgrown all his clothes. He gets nothing because I just could not bring myself to take care of another man's child. I am an Alpha, and a proud one. I just couldn't act like it was OK for him to be here when it wasn't, so I will start there. He is important to her, so he will be important to me from now on too. As soon as she comes back, I will make sure that she knows that she is my number one priority. That Kevin is welcome here too. If she didn't get him enough clothes today, we will go out together tomorrow, and get him everything that he needs. I will make this right for them both, no matter what.