Can't Hurry Love
Chapter 27

A letter.

That's what he'd been reduced to.

A part of him, a big part, was hoping that it would appeal to her romantic nature. The other part was being practical because she'd blocked his number and wouldn't come to the door at the Big Sky. She also hadn't shown up to work yesterday or today.

Maybe it was better that she hadn't.

The scene outside his apartment with Elaine, her parents, and her doctor was something he'd rather nobody had seen. But especially not Beth.

Elaine had cried and screamed. Begged him to come with her then flung angry words at him that he had to admit had stung. Accusations of ruining her life, being responsible for how everything had fallen apart for her.

A year ago—hell, a couple of months ago-he'd have believed every word flung his way. It would have destroyed him. But he'd finally gotten to a place where he no longer felt responsible for Elaine's life and choices. Putting her behind him meant that he needed to forgive not only Elaine, but also himself, for what had happened. He could be angry that she'd come and ruined everything, but that anger was pointless, and not entirely justified since he'd made the choice not to confess everything to Beth. He'd been too caught up in feeling happy for the first time in years, not even realizing that he couldn't have had a real, honest future with her without telling her about his past. Tonight was the last dance of the festival. It felt like a lifetime ago that it had even started. He could only laugh now as he remembered how he'd jealously wondered if she'd meet someone at it. How he'd gone on that hike just to be close to her.

There was no way she'd show up tonight, he knew. Not only was she too busy hiding herself away at home, but he'd, no doubt, ruined the whole experience for her. Probably ruined the idea of romance and love for her, too.

He'd never forgive himself for that. But she was owed an explanation, and the letter was the only way he'd get one to her. He could only hope she read it, but it was out of his hands now.

Had he been selfish to tell her that, in spite of everything, he loved her? Maybe. But it was too late now to do anything about it. He'd confessed his entire past. Elaine's affair, the crash he'd felt responsible for, the loss of the child she'd said she didn't want. All of it.

But he'd also confessed his feelings for her. How she'd made him want to live again. How she'd made this place feel like home in a way nobody and nothing had before. How he knew now that he'd never really loved before her. Because nothing in the world would ever stop him loving her. How even if she never spoke a word to him again, he'd love her.

He'd driven out to the Big Sky this morning and dropped it through the door. And he'd heard nothing from her. That told him everything he needed to know. If she wanted to forgive him, she would have called him. The pain he felt at the idea that he'd lost her forever was gut-wrenching. But he wouldn't give up hoping. Hope was all he had right now.

It's crap, right? I mean, after everything that's happened, I shouldn't fall for this?" Beth paced up and down while Brooke and Paige watched her silently.

Zoe, Jenna, and Tara were all working; otherwise, she'd have called them for reinforcements too.

She hadn't shown them the letter. It felt too personal, too intimate. But she'd given them the gist of it. Enough for them to knock some sense into her because her stupid heart had turned to mush.

He loved her. That was what it said.

I know this isn't the way to tell you. And I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear from me. But I love you, Beth. And I wish I was standing in front of you telling you, there it is. Even if you decide not to hear me out, if you decide you never want to hear from me again, I still need you to know it.

I love you in a way that I didn't even know existed. I've fallen in love with you the way the men in those over-the-top, gushy movies fall in love. Completely and with every piece of me.

She'd bawled her eyes out at that part.

What if he was telling the truth? What if he loved her that much? That was the love she'd always wanted.

That was her Mr. Darcy-Romeo-Heathcliffe kind of love. Only with less arrogance and death and haunting.

She'd felt herself wanting to go to him, so she'd done the sensible thing and called in the troops. They'd give her a good talking to, especially Brooke. They'd tell her that it was time she grew up and accepted that was not how the real world worked. They'd remind her that Josh had kept his past a secret and not really opened up to her.

"Well?" she prompted now, when her friends stayed quiet.

Brooke and Paige shared a speaking look.

"Did you hear about yesterday morning?" Paige asked by way of answer.

"What do you mean?" Beth frowned.

Zoe had called her last night, but Beth hadn't answered. "There was a bit of an incident with Josh and his ex-wife yesterday outside his apartment building." Beth's stomach flipped. "Is he ok?" she asked. "Is he hurt?"

Paige grinned at her reaction, but Brooke rolled her eyes. "He's fine. I was grabbing books from Zoe when I heard the commotion. His ex, what is her name?" She frowned. "Elaine," Beth answered impatiently.

"Yes, Elaine. Well, she was screaming, crying, asking Josh to come with her, saying she loved him. Anyway, when he finally managed to get her hands off him, she-Well, she was very upset," Paige said demurely. "She flipped the eff out," Brooke said frankly. "Said he was a child murderer and that she'd never forgive him."

"Oh, that's horrible," Beth whispered.

Josh's misplaced guilt had practically jumped off the page of his letter when he wrote of that accident. She could just imagine how much Elaine's words would have hurt.

"Anyway, there was an older couple there, I'm assuming her parents, who eventually managed to drag her ass into a car, and that was it. She was gone."

"Wow," Beth said, because she didn't really know what to say.

"I felt really sorry for him," Paige said sadly. "He looked terrible. I mean, hot as all get out, obviously, but terrible." "Yeah, but-but that doesn't change anything does it?" Beth asked hesitantly. "I mean... he still lied."

Brooke and Paige shared another look while Beth flopped into the chair across from them.

"We can't tell you what to do, Beth," Paige said gently. "But-"

"But what?"

"—but we all make mistakes, and from the little I saw, and what you've said, I can kind of understand him taking his time getting into something new and dragging all of that up." Paige was a bleeding heart though, Beth told herself.

She was just as soft and mushy as Beth herself.

She didn't want to be foolish. Her heart had steered her wrong for a year with that man. She couldn't trust it.

Brooke would bawl her out and get her head on straight. She turned to the beautiful brunette who never, ever took crap and hardly every believed men when they claimed innocence. "What do you think?" Beth asked, half afraid of the answer.

Brooke narrowed one eye. "You love him, huh?" she asked.

"So much," Beth said tearfully. "But I don't want to get hurt. And I know I'm too romantic, I know I look for fairy tales when real life doesn't work that way. I don't want to be an idiot." Brooke nodded.

"So?" Beth asked when her friend still hadn't given her the kick-up-the-butt she clearly needed.

Brooke sighed and got to her feet, holding out a hand to Beth. "So," she said with a tiny smile. "I think we need to get you ready for tonight."

"I'm not going tonight," Beth said mutinously. "This festival was to find love, right?" Brooke asked. Beth nodded miserably, feeling even stupider. A speed-dating festival! What had she been thinking?

People didn't fall in love that quickly.

You can't hurry love, Josh had warned her, even though she had fallen in love that quickly, to her detriment, as it turned out. So, he'd been right. "Then go get it, Beth," Brooke said. "You don't think I'm a fool?"

"Oh, I do." Brooke grinned. "It just so happens he's a fool too, so you're perfectly matched."

Beth stared at her most unforgiving friend before slowly, an answering grin spread across her face. Squealing, she threw her arms around Brooke then Paige before running toward her room. She had a happily ever after to go get.