Chasing His Rejected Wife
Chapter 41 -

Aiden's POV

I imagined the anguish that clouded Jessica's expression when she asked whether I would have remained with her had Elisa not suffered the loss of her child. I recollected the moments when she concealed her sorrow whenever Elisa's name entered our discussions, or when she saw the two of us together acting like lovers, and my self-loathing deepened.

If I confessed to her that all the suffering she endured, believing I had openly betrayed her, had been pointless? That it had, in fact, been a meticulously planned ruse aimed at pushing her to end our marriage. Would this revelation bring her comfort or exacerbate her feelings?

Seeing the self doubt in my expression, Elisa pressed on. "The truth will hurt Jess, far more than any of our lies ever did. Especially now, when her emotional and physical state is so fragile. Imagine what that sort of stress could do to her mental health? And the baby's wellbeing?"

I knew all that, had even had several internal arguments with myself through sleepless nights.

"I've thought about that too." I admitted with a self deprecating chuckle. "But at this point, what else have I got to lose? She probably already hates my guts, what's a little more hate? But, you know what kills me? I can't stand seeing Jessica hurt anymore. She's too fucking good for the likes of me."

Elisa stared at me for several moments with what felt like dismay and something else I couldn't read. Then she turned away to stare out her side window and in a voice tinged with a hint of mockery, she said, "If I didn't know better, Aiden. I'd think you've started developing feelings for Jess."

I risked taking my eyes off the road to stare at her in surprise.

"What?" I demanded again, wondering if I heard wrong.

"Are you falling in love with Jess?" The question, repeated in such a blunt, abrupt manner knocked me off kilter for a bit. I forced my gaze back to the road, my mind switching to autopilot as I navigated the roads while I tried to gather my scattered thoughts, trying to find the answer to that question. It should be an easy question, shouldn't it? All I had to do was answer a simple "yes" or "no". Right?

Except, I could not bring myself to answer. Because, even I had no idea what the hell was going on with me when it came to Jess. Much as I didn't like to admit it, I missed that spark that used to be in Jessica's eyes whenever she looked at me. That spark that had told me so much about the way she felt about me. She had been in love.

That spark had used to irritate me, because it made me feel inexplicably guilty for being such a shitty husband. Even though at the time, I'd thought my actions were justified, it hadn't stopped me feeling like I was the big bad wolf, during the times we'd been in the same space and I would catch her surreptitiously staring at me, that damned look of wary adoration on her face.

Then, after she had confronted me about Elisa's pregnancy, that look had vanished, as though she finally saw me as the monster that I really was for the first time. And now, I missed it, now that the only looks she gave me were filled with hurt and discomfort to have to be in my presence. I wanted that look back.

I wanted to put a smile back on her face. To make her see me as someone she could feel safe with.

Did that mean that I was developing romantic feelings for my wife? Hell, I had no idea. I needed some time to figure out if these tender feelings were the first stirrings of something deeper than just affection.

Instead, to buy time and maybe, yes, to divert the conversation back to her, I made my tone as casual as possible as I asked, "What makes you ask that?"

Elisa shot me an impatient look and I got the feeling that she was annoyed at my attempt to stall. "You know why."

"No," I shook my head in emphasis. "I don't. You're the one that asked, so at least you owe me an explanation why you would think such a thing."

Elisa made an annoyed sound, eyes narrowed to slits and I could tell she was fast losing patience. "Fine then. I think it's because you're acting strange."

I raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Strange?"

"Yes. Not like your usual self."

I rubbed at the back of my neck and sighed. "Elisa, I'm not acting strange. I'm merely..." I searched for an appropriate word and gave up when none sprang to mind immediately.

I blew out a breath and stared ahead. It had started to rain; big, fat drops of clear water hit the windshield, turning the images outside blurry, heavy dark clouds rolling in the sky. I couldn't help but note how the weather suits my mood - dark and stormy, threatening to burst out in a torrential downpour.

I was still acutely aware that Elisa was still waiting for me to finish my train of thought. My eyes flickered to her, noting the tension that stretched the corners of her lips into a thin line.

"I'm fine, Elle." I finished, for want of anything else to say. The lie weighed heavy at the base of my chest. I unconsciously took my hand off the wheel and rubbed at the spot.

"No, you're not." She countered. "Just a few days ago, you were ready to do whatever it would take to save Skylark. You were focused, determined. But suddenly, you've done a complete one-eighty and talking about giving up everything just so Jessica can be happy. It makes me concerned that you'll end up making the wrong choice just to appease her."

My fingers tightened on the wheel until my knuckles turned white. "There's no need to worry. I've got everything under control." I ground out, giving her a sidelong look.

"Have you?" She asked, her tone clearly disbelieving. "Aiden, don't kid yourself. You care about her, maybe more than you realize or are willing to admit. You'll just fold your arms and let Jessica take over control of Skylark? What happens then? What if she decides to take...like... I don't know...revenge on your family by running the business to the ground? Do you have any idea how that would affect the people who depend on your family for their livelihood?"

"I don't think Jessica would do that." I replied, feeling a spark of amusement despite the seriousness of the conversation. "She's not the petty sort to ruin people's lives because of a grudge she may or may not hold against my family." Elisa radiated displeasure from where she sat. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave me a defiant look. "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You're already poised to sacrifice everything just for Jessica. It's not you, Aiden, it's just the guilt that's clouding your judgment and you need to get your head clear and fast before you do something, you'll end up regretting."

For the first time in a long while, I felt a spark of irritation directed towards Elisa. Maybe it was the scathing rebuke...or maybe it was the hint of disdain that clouded her tone whenever she mentioned my wife's name. Either way, I was starting to get pissed.