Claiming My Wolf
Chapter 37

~~Logan’s PoV~~

With a g***n, I flop down on my bed. I’ve screwed up and now I don’t know how to fix it.

After I almost kissed Sadie last weekend, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. It was nice to have something to be excited about again, and the thought of actually kissing her properly in the near future was definitely exciting.

But all it took was a few words from my dad to bring me back to reality.

He called me into his office on Sunday after Micah and Sadie left, after we’d secretly started planning the mission we were going to put in motion tomorrow. His team had all left as well, so it was just me and him in the big room as he pulled out his bottle of scotch.

“You want some?” he asked.

I must have looked shocked because he laughed. “You’re 18 in a couple of weeks, Logan. I think you can handle the odd drink. Besides, most kids your age are out getting drunk every weekend, right?”

I didn’t think the Alpha was supposed to know about that, but I supposed it had been the same when he was my age.

“Sure,” I agreed cautiously. “I’ll take some.”

He poured me a small amount, less than half of what he took and handed it to me across the desk. We both raised our glasses silently, and I winced a little as the amber liquid burned my throat on the way down.

My dad laughed again. “You’ll get used to that.” Then he sighed, looking tired and older all of a sudden. “Things are a real mess right now. Between this craziness with the mating bond and someone trying to kill one of my pack members… it’s times like this when I really miss your mom.”

I couldn’t have been more surprised. He never talked to me about her, but maybe after the talk we’d had in the garden a few days ago, he felt we could be more open about it. I tried to encourage him to keep going. “What do you miss about her?”

He smiled even though there was sadness in his eyes. “Whenever something was going wrong, she used to come in here and have a drink with me. She’d let me rant away about whatever was bugging me, and then she’d do something that made it all seem better.”

I didn’t know exactly what he was talking about but I thought I could guess, and he laughed again as he saw the discomfort on my face.

“Nothing like that,” he said drily. “It was never any one particular thing. She just always knew exactly what I needed, just a few words or a hug, or whatever it might be. The mate bond is something so special, Logan, finding that one person who completes you. If we lose it for good… I don’t know what that means for us, as a pack, or even as a species. It’s our greatest blessing, the best part of being a werewolf.”

I had always felt the same but I knew that Sadie didn’t agree, and to be honest, listening to her talk about it, I had started questioning whether she had a point. But hearing how strongly my dad felt, now I wasn’t so sure anymore.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” he continued, looking over at me with an affectionate smile. “That you’ve waited to find your mate. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure that this bond mess is cleaned up before we get to your birthday.”

I didn’t feel I had anything to be proud of. I’d only avoided getting involved with anyone else because I was in mourning for the last year. And I had just spent all of last night thinking about getting involved with Sadie.

But maybe my dad was right. Maybe it was better to wait. It wasn’t that much longer, after all, and the last thing I would want to do was hurt Sadie if she didn’t turn out to be my mate.

So I decided after that conversation that I would back off a bit. I was still going to hang out with Sadie, of course. We were friends now, not to mention she was involved in everything we were planning. But I wouldn’t make any other kind of move, at least not yet.

And then she kissed me.

Standing in the kitchen with the popcorn maker whirring in the background, she kissed me and it was just as good as I could have imagined. Better, even. The same little tingles I’d felt earlier erupted on my lips as they connected with hers and I felt something I hadn’t felt in a really long time.

I felt hope.

Then we’d nearly burned the house down and Micah came in, and as things started to sink in, I realized that no matter how good it felt, it wasn’t the right thing to do, not right now. So I took the coward’s way out and avoided her the rest of the night, and now I’m lying on my bed feeling more conflicted than I have about anything in a long time.

I have to talk to her, that much is clear, but it’s not going to be easy. I know she’ll tell me it’s a stupid reason not to pursue the obvious connection between us, but it’s not just about me. It’s about her too, plus I’ve got a responsibility to the pack. I have to set a good example, and falling for someone who might not be my mate isn’t the way to do that.

I’ll have to make Sadie understand. I just don’t have any idea yet how I’m going to do that.