Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 208

We got out, and I was already hating it, chilly winds creeping inside my coat, the only heat from Jonah that didn't seem affected like me when he wasn't even wearing a jacket!

"Over there..." He was nodding towards a car I had never seen before, that was not a blue sports car that was worth what I made in one year, no two, when he did a smile like he could see my surprise, I mean, it wasn't fancy or anything, but it was a good, solid car that had four doors and trunk space? I must have seemed really surprised when he helped me opened the door and stroked my hand when I was inside.

"I love you and don't have any problem carrying you, but it's too far where we're going...." He made another smile when I didn't know what to say, still shocked that he had this; it wasn't the kind of car you would have as a 24-year-old, not one that was spoiled anyway!

"Jonah, did you steal it?" I wouldn't be surprised when he made a scoff like I was stupid and was adjusting the mirrors like he wasn't happy with them. Just staring at him to my surprise of magically conjuring a decent car when he said he had no money?? “F**k no, made a deal, and now this baby is mine...." He chuckled when my heart dropped when he looked around and got out onto the street from the parking lot, a deal? I didn't like the sound of that one bit, and I hoped it wasn't drugs or something like that. I really didn't want him dealing f*****g drugs when I had kids!

"Andrea, stop looking so fucking horrified. I know more people then my Ma is involved with; I just have to dig a little deeper and.... Don't f*****g worry about it... okay?" He made an encouraging smile from nowhere when I still didn't know what to feel about that. He was shady as f**k, and a part of me wanted to know, but for the most..., not... no matter what that said about me.

"It's not illegal, is it?" I regretted saying that out loud when he sighed like he wasn't going to answer that, making me shut up and just stare at the dark road before us. Okay. Shutting up about that right now.

"Andrea, I do business, and if the fucking society wants to call it illegal, then fuck them, I don't see the difference between what you are doing at your work compared to mine...." He hadn't said shit for five minutes when he suddenly spoke, making me blink a few times. Wow. He really just said that didn't he?

"At least I don't kill people...." I wasn't meant to say it out loud when he slowed down, turned his head fast, and stared at me sitting in my coat, heat blasting from the AC and Jonah looking like he was though I was being cute. What? He wasn't fucking angry at me for saying that?!

"No, you don't.... but don't think for a fucking second that Joey is this choir boy that doesn't play dirty, just because he doesn't want to do business with Ma or anyone else in this town. You don't get to be where he is by not getting your hands dirty, Andrea baby, remember that...." I took a breath, hearing his voice get dark like he was making sure I got it from his stare on the road, looking more intense from thinking about Joseph and the f*****g feud they had. I hated that.

I was looking around; the darkness was hiding most of the landscape, but to the small gnawing feeling in my chest, I was starting to recognize the area, it was the suburbs, and I knew exactly where I was when Jonah turned on the last quiet street and drove all the way to the end to the big house that was empty and dark.

"James...." I whimpered; there it was, the house I had lived in with him, his home and the one that he had tried to burn down with Kira and me inside it before I left.

"Yes, I think it's time you knew Andrea... I hate seeing you morning him when he doesn't deserve that, and... baby, you don't have to worry about seeing anyone else die.... I promise I will never do that to you again...." Jonah's voice was breaking through the soft tears I was already feeling on my cheeks. I wasn't sure I even wanted to know if I had the guts to get outside the car and go inside the house that still wasn't sold or.... Taken...

I stared at Jonah for a few seconds when he was dangling the keys, and I deeply sighed seeing them. How the fuck did he get them? Buck?

"Let's go." Jonah was walking around the car, opening up and helping me out when I was staring at the house that had been my safety for so long. James had been everything I needed, and still, when I couldn't love him, not like I loved Jonah... I made another deep inhale when I was walking up the stairs, not letting go of Jonah once if I could walk by myself; this was the scariest thing I had done in a long fucking time!

The front door didn't creek, not a fucking sound making it even more spooky for me when Jonah was the first one inside and, to my surprise, turning on the lights that flooded the familiar hallway and reaching out into the big living room and kitchen to the sides. "Jonah.... no.... no, I don't want to be here.... It's too fucking hard...." I wanted to turn around and leave, the smell was hitting me hard, and I swear I could see James standing there with a smile, happy to see me when he had made some shitty pasta that was the only thing he could cook... f**k...

"I never said it would be... but I'm right here... okay baby?" I made a sniffle looking up at Jonah's face, doing a sad smile like he knew this was fucking hard for me, it was, and I wasn't going to lie and say that I felt hate towards James for everything he did going crazy on me, because he gave me so much f*****g more when he was my friend.

I nodded, taking the first few steps, Jonah coming along when I walked inside the living room, my chest tightening even more seeing that everything in here was untouched, not even the fucking wineglass on the nice-looking coffee table had moved and the glass shard that was still shattered over the carpet. Oh God...

"I kept the payments in when he died and.... Andrea, I know that you will hate me for this. Still, there is more..." Jonah was taking me back when I was crying now, feeling myself reliving one of my worst moments when James had turned on me, becoming a fucking monster and not my best friend.

Jonah was steering me down the basement when I frowned, I didn't go there and I didn't need to, James told me he just had old stuff from his parents' downstairs that he couldn't get rid of, and honestly, I didn't care when I still lived here. Jonah was putting the key inside the door, and I took a deep breath; whatever was behind this wasn't going to be old clothes and things his parents had left him, and I knew that too.

"Oh...." I was saying it, still not sure what to f*****g say when Jonah was the first inside, the light was turned on when the room that was shown before me was small and had a bench, a chair, and a tv with a fucking DVD player of all the things to have. "Jonah, what the fuck are you doing?!" I was horrified when he took one of the discs and put it inside, making me stare at the screen that flickered when the DVD was loading in, and I was staring at myself.

I was working, looking like I wanted to die when I was walking around and trying to avoid eye contact with anyone around; my face was pale, and my eyes dead; this must have been right after I started working under James since I remember having bangs back then. I switched my eyes to Jonah that was standing by the TV, looking at me sternly like he wanted me to see everything, and I was still f*****g stunned that James seemed to have been f*****g recording me when I was working, and right now, I was in the locker room getting undressed!

"Fucking perv!" I was gasping, still not sure how the fuck I could have missed that!? I knew he wanted me, but I had no idea he was doing this long before we became friends!?

"Baby, listen... I want you to know this because... fuck, it breaks my heart seeing you get fucking panic attacks over him dying, he did this, and this wasn't his endgame. You were fucking selected, Andrea, and...." He stopped when I whined, seeing as he was turning around to the box and pulling out more burned DVDs that I hadn't seen before he showed me.

"Jessica, Ashley, Kristina, Lisa, Kayla." He said the names on the discs when I felt the horror gripping my chest harder, making me lose air when he said the last name, hurting the most, Kayla.

"Kayla!?" I wanted to snatch the discs from his hands, like he was fucking lying, when I could see the name clear as day, written in James's cursive handwriting with permanent marker.

"Yes." Jonah sounded grave when he was putting them back, not wanting me to see more when the tv was still rolling with me in different places; right now, I was at a park and crying over my life, this was before Jonah, and I felt even sicker seeing it. "Kayla is dead." I said it because I knew that was true. I don't know how and I couldn't explain it, but she never stayed away for too long when she hooked up with some guy or the truth that she got paid for it like an escort.

"Yes, she is dead.... Andrea.... Look at me." I was still unsure what to do with all the rage that was inside me. Kayla was dead because James f*****g killed her.

"This is the real him, Eric Pelt, and not James. he was made up; you get that don't you?" He sounded so soft when I shook my head, no...no... I didn't believe that, not for a f*****g second. James wouldn't have done that to anyone, he was a f*****g a*****e, but he was a sweetheart. He really was! He loved Kira and me!

"No... no, please just no...Jonah..." I was still not understanding all of this, James was a killer, a real one, and he was praying on women when I was sniffling into Jonah's shoulder and having him hold me; this was f*****g insane, and he was right. I did hate him for showing me this.

"I'm sorry, I really am Andrea, but don't make me say that I should feel anything for that pussy being dead. He was going to kill you and not fast...." I made another hard cry hearing that burying myself deeper into Jonah's chest, I felt so f*****g betrayed! All those girls he had stalked, probably made friends with, and then what!? just killed them!?

"Jonah, why didn't he kill me?" I was looking up from his body, looking at the stern face that made him look so much mature, like he wasn't this twenty-something holding me in the basement of a killer.

"He loved you, baby." Jonah made the smallest of smiles, saying that, like if he hadn't, I would have been dead long before I even met him, and that was breaking him to never have known me, no matter the shit that had happened.

"He should be happy Buck killed him, if I had the fucking time to take him in..." Jonah made a huff having darkness over his eyes, making me feel both scared and safe at the same time. He was a monster too, just a different kind, same as any man I ever had been loving.

"We need to get this to the fucking cops...." I was begging him when he disagreed, looking like I was stupid for even saying that, but he didn't get it; somewhere out there, people were missing their daughter, sister, or wife. That was the worst part about Kayla, she just fucking vanished, and she had been taken by James, killed, and stashed. Driving me insane for not knowing where she had gone!

"Jonah, please, people need to know...." I was saying it more seriously, still looking into his eyes that weren't budging the first seconds like he didn't like that idea at all, going to the cops and telling them that James had killed women, more... oh god, that still was so f****d up....

"Fine... just don't do anything stupid and call them as soon as we get out of here. I'm handling it...." He made a deep frown taking hold of my body more, making sure that I understood when I frowned back. I wasn't going to fucking call them! Buck had killed James, and I had helped f*****g bury him! I was not going to jail and let my kids not see me until they were grown-ups!

"I'm not that stupid! Do you think I'm going to just walk inside a fucking station and tell them that I helped bury a guy that was a killer? Fuck no!" I was letting him go getting angrier. Why did he always think I was so f*****g stupid just because I didn't like what he was doing? I had never made one f*****g word about it to anyone, not even Buck, when he was my husband.

Jonah didn't answer me, staring back into my eyes like he was searching for something. I didn't even know what it was when he finally snapped out of whatever was coming over him and made a smile that I wasn't sure I liked.

“།

I guess not, Andrea...." He was still smiling when he was holding his hands on my arms, never really letting go when we were still in this disgusting space that had more death than I had ever felt in my body before.

"Let's just leave... I can't fucking stand being here anymore, and I'm going to f*****g burn my shoes and shower when I get back!" my face was red and upset, and I wasn't even sure why. Jonah was still smiling like he found my anger funny; he always was a fucking bastard.

"You want to burn the house, I mean, instead of your shoes?" he was leaning closer when I made a gulp hearing that dark voice, making me want to kiss him no matter what I had felt a second before. Did he just ask me if I wanted to burn James's house down?" "Fuck yes." I was answering him just as dark back. I wanted to have this place burn to the fucking ground and everything that was in it; every part of my life still connected with the monster that was my best friend.

"Not going to lie, baby, you are making me fucking hard...." Jonah chuckled, kissing my head when I didn't smile back at him, I knew he was since I could feel it, and I would f**k him, not just here in this place.

"Let's go. I know where he kept the spare gas that he didn't pour out already...." I was going up the stairs, Jonah grabbing the DVD's and some other shit I didn't want to see, walking up the hallway and into the garage that still had the canisters that James claimed were for an emergency, what a fucking liar....

I was staring at the house when Jonah was done coming outside pouring out the last canister and holding up a lighter like he had planned this, making me scoff when he walked up beside me, took my hand, and put the lighter in it; I wanted to do this and not him,

me.

"Are you sure? I have no problem doing it for you...." Jonah sounded serious like he didn't want me to get my hands dirty like I hadn't already made a body disappear into a lake. I was not f*****g innocent anymore.

"No, just show me how...." I was staring back at him when he made a genuine smile, wrapping his warm hands around mine when the lighter illuminated our faces. I swear my heart would beat out of my chest, meeting Jonah's eyes over the dark night we were standing in. I f*****g loved him so much. He had no idea, my soulmate.

"I love you, Jonah...." I was tossing the lighter over at the stairs where the last of the gasoline had been poured out, every inch of the place was going to burn down, and I was to watch it go down, along with everything else when I kissed him hard, wanting him more than ever, feeling his mouth against mine before he was pulling back looking at me like he saw me for the fucking first time, smitten.

"Oh fuck! I wish we could stay, and I would fuck you right here, but we need to leave right fucking now, baby!" He was already pulling me towards the car when I was staring at the fire that was taking hold of the house that had so much love, pain and death that I thought I still had dreamed it all. James was a f*****g serial killer.

"Andrea, get inside the fucking car!" Jonah wasn't asking when I made a nod, getting inside fast when he shifts gears and pulling us back quickly from the scene of the home of James being engulfed in flames before my eyes, shit. I didn't even know how fast this was happening when the sounds of sirens were heard in the distance, shifting my eyes back to Jonah, that was looking like he had one goal, and that was getting the hell out of there.

"Goodbye, James...." I whispered it when the image in my head of him on the truck was before my eyes, and I did cry but not because he was dead, because he had loved me, and I had loved him back.