Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 64

Jonah had been asleep when I came back and pissed when he had to get up and open the door, making me just smirk at him. He didn't want me to get in and I had no problem pointing that out to his cute sleepy face that just grunted back before he locked the door and crashed in the bed again when I walked into the shower and just stood there. James's hoodie was in the hamper when I walked out, still damp from the water, and strode back to the bed and pushed myself into his arms when he pulled me back, already asleep again, making my heart start to flutter when I smiled at him.

He always looked so peaceful when he was asleep, not a f*****g problem in the world, just a young worry-free guy that didn't look like he wanted to smash the head of every other person out there when he was angry, he really was a mystery.... I made a sigh and kissed his jaw before closing my eyes, pleased that he made a small smile feeling me, snuggling closer when I fell asleep.

I woke up and Jonah was missing, lost without his body heat. I just shivered, it was getting darker outside, and I narrowed my eyes at my cellphone that needed charging. F**k, it was almost 8 pm! What the f**k had I been doing, hibernating?! I got up fast, feeling the hard desire to pee when my feet hit the cold floor, and ran the small steps into the bathroom hearing the shower being on but at this point, I didn't care when a loud scream of surprise was heard when I flushed making me break out into laughter hearing Jonah curse from getting hit with a wave of cold water, probably just as sleepy like I was feeling when he snapped the curtain to the side, giving me a full sight of his body, and he was wet. Holy f**k.

"Andrea! What the f**k are you doing?!" he was scowling when I was just biting my lip, sighing over the amazing view that I had Infront of me, Jonah naked was never a disappointment.

I just stared at him, I didn't even care that he was mad at me when I gawked at him again, he was so hot, I mean it, so fucking hot that I just didn't get it, that he was with me, in love with me, having me as his girlfriend, still blew my mind. "Andrea are you even listening to me?! I said what the fuck was that, not fucking cool babe!" He was looking like he was trying not to go full predator on me making me laugh even more, he was just looking cute right now, like he wanted to laugh too but had too much pride, go figures.

I didn't answer him, just took the last step towards him, getting into the shower and placing my arms around those hard abs that I had no idea how he kept up having, since he ate everything just like me, it was fucking unfair.

"Don't you look at me like that, all fucking innocent, it won't work...." He sounded stern when I saw the small smirk he was struggling against when I just started to laugh, feeling him relax when I looked up at his handsome face, oh god he was so beautiful. "Feels like its working...." I made a small giggle when he sighed and just grinned at me, he thought it was funny, he did.

"That just because I'm fucking hard for you every time I see you, I should punish you for doing that but...." He smirked when I held my breath, feeling him leaning down and whispering in my ear.

"I'm going to get you back, remember that...." I got chills hearing his dark words when he was kissing my neck making me start to feel my body react to him, how the hell did he have the strength to f**k again. I was barely awake and he wanted to go, feeling his d**k starting to push up against my stomach again, shit he really was all stamina, and I was none of that.

"Jonah... wait I'm too tired for that..." I was looking up at his face that got a frown when he stopped nipping my neck like I was kidding with him, but I wasn't, I was dead tired.

"You been sleeping all day, same as me, how the hell are you still tired Andrea?" He made a smirk at the end when I shrugged, I just was, and he was younger, He seemed too never be tired, ever.

"I guess I'm just old..." He smirked more like he was going to say that, when I beat him to it, see I could laugh at that, us being so far apart, I was just a bitch most of the time these days, but not right now when he was just being playful, same as me after I had made him scream from the cold water.

We got out, I just dried off when he stayed in the bathroom and I wanted to get dressed, I still didn't know what the hell we were going or what was happening but I was getting nervous when he walked out seeing me blow-drying my hair from the stuff that I had brought over from when I was hurt the first time, shit I didn't even know why he kept insisting I stay at my place, I was more here then in my own apartment since that day anyway.

I made a big gasp seeing him coming up behind me in the mirror, his hair styled, slightly parted and just the right amount of product to make him look like he was the hottest guy I ever had seen, ever.

"I like your hair like that...." I had turned off the blow-dryer and made a smile that I didn't believe him, he was resting his head on my shoulder and just looking cute and hot at the same time making a frown at my disbelief.

"I do. Why wouldn't I like everything about you?" He kissed my neck when I didn't want to answer that, didn't want to start another fight when I just wanted to go with him, see where the hell he was taking us, and I was not risking it by telling him that I knew that he only had f****d girls with longer hair before me.

"Just forget it, I want to know where we are going. Do I dress up or down or what?" I made a smile when he still was frowning, pissed that I avoided answering him and just looked away when his hard eyes were searching after mine, trying to pin me down knowing that I had no chance against him.

"No, we are not fucking going if you don't answer me, why wouldn't I like your hair?!" He didn't scream but his voice was darker when I looked up hurt, I was still so fucking insecure about a lot of things, my hair being one of them, it was stupid, but my brain didn't care about that standing here and just begging Jonah to let it go when I knew he wouldn't.

"You don't like short hair.... On girls I mean...." I closed my eyes, feeling the hard blush that came with it, that was even more embarrassing to say than what I had imagined it to be.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, I don't like when girls have short hair? I don't give a shit about that, it's just hair, and you look great no matter what length it is." He was telling me that in a hard straight tone that made me want to cry, I really didn't want to say it, just how pathetic I was, taking every detail to notice around him.

"Yes, you do... Jonah... I seen every girl you ever fucked before me; I know what they look like. even their hair is the same, and its never short." I looked him back dead set now, taking courage like we had a standoff when it was just my hair we were talking about, shit I was messed up and I knew it.

He was still staring me down when he looked like he finally got it and just made a small huffing sound like he couldn't believe that I was upset about that, well I was.

"No, you haven't." He said that with a calmer voice giving me that familiar nausea that was hitting me every time he talked about f*****g other girls, I know that I brought it up, but I really, really hated when he just said stuff like that, proud even, bastard. "You haven't seen every girl I ever fucked Andrea, I mean come on, we known each other for like what, six months? That's not that long and you still found a way to make me fall for you, but you haven't seen every girl I had, and they didn't all have long hair." He looked at me like I was supposed to be pleased with that answer, well that was fantastic, he fucked girls with short hair too! Made me feel so fucking great!

"Awesome." I just said that. teeth gritted when he was looking like he knew that he was supposed to keep his mouth shut, but he didn't, oh he never did with me it seemed, only about the stuff like him loving me back and all those other important parts that he wanted to hide, but him fucking a million other girls, no problem!

"Don't be like that right now! I said that you were coming along tonight, and I want it to be fun, not hearing you just be jealous over shit that I can't go back and change, and you know what? I wouldn't even if I could. this is my life Andrea, fucking accept that or you and me are going to have a hard time dating!" He snarled the last part making me want to cry even more when he rushed off and slammed the door to the bedroom making me flinch. F**k.

I was just blinking at myself in the mirror, I didn't want to cry, not again... it was just hard... it was f*****g hard being together with someone that was that good looking and could get anyone, he was a force of nature, and I was just me, what if he got tired of me not having long hair and just decided to get some other girl? It wouldn't be that hard, and when he did, I would die.

I wiped my eyes fast from the few tears that had broken through. Get it together Andrea, get it fucking together! I was cursing at myself when I heard the door open again and I looked up, waiting on him to come back to me when he didn't and I just lean my head towards the mirror, why was I so fucking hard to be with? Why couldn't I just be happy that he was with me and not just find reasons to give him shit all the time? I sucked...... I was still leaning towards the mirror with my forehead when I felt myself being pulled back and turned around before being pushed into his chest making me start to bawl my eyes out, feeling the strong scent of cologne and his arms around me, I didn't deserve him, I know I didn't, but I loved him anyway, even If I was being pathetic and old. "I'm sorry... I'm so fucking sorry... I know that I'm pathetic... I know that...." He didn't answer me when I still had my head buried inside his shirt and just made snorting noises feeling his long fingers stroking my hair slowly, making me start to feel better when the small tingles that was leaving my back was filling me up every time his fingertips came back up to my scalp and followed it down to my neck where my hair ended.

"I just don't get you Andrea. Why are you so obsessed with me fucking other girls? You know that I don't do that anymore, and I won't, as long as me and you are together, I won't fuck anyone else. I'm not a fucking cheater, you got that?" He was speaking in a slow dark melodic voice that made me believe him when I looked up, still feeling embarrassed over my outburst, it was a never-ending story with me it seemed.

"You won't?" I was looking at him like a child and I knew it, I just didn't want him to leave me for another woman, that would break my heart and then I would die, I was sure of that.

"No. like I said, I don't do that shit, and why would I when I just want to fuck you every damn day? I don't think you know how hard it is for me not to just push you down the bed every time I see you naked or dressed in those sweatpants you love..." He finally made a smile that I was drawn into, I did really love my sweatpants...

"Oh god... I'm sorry Jonah... I'm so sorry for being the worst girlfriend ever... I just... I got f*****g issues and I know it... I just love you so much and if you cheated on me...." I stopped when I met his eyes, the piercing blue-green ones that was giving me a serious look back making me hold my breath. he knew.

"Well... same..." He smirked like I didn't see the darkness behind it and shivered, he was just as weird as me, just as f****d up and I don't know it that was good or bad for us.

I was smiling now, and I didn't care that it was wrong, I felt better. I did. I never used to tell Ryan what I felt, not the last years when he just didn't care anymore, just told me to tell me about it later... not like Jonah, forcing me to answer him... I took a deep breath, feeling slightly lighter, f**k he was the best thing to ever happen to me, even if he was complicated.

"Okay, no more tears, I just want to see laughter on that beautiful face tonight, get ready because I am making you leave in an hour if you are ready or not...." His smirk got worse when I just smiled more too, oh he was being inconspicuous with me, I didn't know if I like that, but it felt nice to finally get to come along, another step for us.

"Yeah... I will be ready..." He smiled and left me again when I looked at my face, oh fuck I had a lot of work to do if I wanted to look half as good as him tonight.