Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 80

James made a low chuckle, seeing me coming out with mountains of stacks of paper I was carrying with me when he picked me up at the end of the day, it was around 6.30 pm when I had decided to bring the shit of old cases that needed to be digitalised, really, was We were having dinner, James was eating, and I was just pushing the pasta around, having one bite or two, it tasted like shit, but I couldn't blame him, I hadn't offered to help to cook, and he sucked at it, being the king of pasta after all.

she living in the f*****g nineties not having this shit more then on paper?

"Andrea.... Just... eat..." he pushed the plate closer to me when I frowned... I was still thinking about what happened today, outside the café and he knew it when he gave up and just leaned back, looking at me through his glasses like he didn't know what to do to help me anymore, trust me, I didn't know either.

"You really want to see him? After what happened?" he didn't sound judgemental like he used to do when he was talking about Jonah when I looked up from the plate and nodded, yes. I want to see him again, I just... I didn't know if he was any better or if he even wanted to see me since I f*****g left him.

He just made a deep sigh and crossed his arms, showing me that was not the answer he wanted to hear, too bad for him. I got up from the table, taking our plates along and just put them down in the sink, not caring to do anything more with them, having my back turned to James and trying not to break out in tears again.

"You know, six months ago, I would have done anything for you to look at me like that, like you look at him, or when you think of him when you think I cant see you..." James voice was amused and slightly hurt making me grasp the sink and just clenching my jaw, he better not fucking tell me that he loved me or some stupid shit like that, I didn't like him back and he knew that!

"James... stop..." I turned around, showing my sad face, he was not fucking helping me by telling me shit that I already knew, that he liked me. we were trying to get past that, as friends.

"No, I'm not stopping, Andrea.... I care for you, more then you understand." He was up when I made a sneer, I cared for him too, as a friend, not like a lover, the way he wanted me to.

"I don't love you James..." I just said that when he stopped and looked at me hurt and I just wanted to die, he loved me, he did, just look at him, he f*****g loved me and that was the truth.

"I know... I know you don't do that, and that hurts like hell, but I'm not forcing you to love me, I never would do that, I just want to see you be happy Andrea, that's all...." He was still standing up when I nodded defeated, that's exactly what Jonah had said to me, the night before everything went to hell...

"What do you want from me James? Do you want me to fuck you? "He looked up, confused and guilty over my words, like I was hitting the bullseye right away making me exhale and just lean back at the counter, why was it so f*****g hard for him to get that I would never feel anything else for him then just friendship?

"Yes." He looked more determined now, arms crossed and shoulders back making me start to laugh, oh well at least he wasn't a liar about that part, he wanted to f**k me, always did.

"What about Angela? She likes you, like really likes you James, she can barely speak when you are around, its funny as hell...." I was still chuckling when he made a sneer like I was stupid for just saying that.

"I don't want her, never did. I know she likes me, I'm not blind Andrea, but she is not you..." he had a darker tone at the end making me stop laughing, okay where the fuck did that come from? I was shifting uncomfortable all the sudden, feeling James stare at me, dressed in a shirt and sweats like I was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

"James..." I was just feeling myself getting more nervous, I hadn't been with anyone except for Ryan and Jonah, and that was six months ago, I was starting to forget what having s*x felt like to be honest.

"I'm not going to force you, or make you love me..." He was still not moving when I made a deep sigh, sex made everything so much complicated, and for some reason, it felt like I would cheat on Jonah, no matter how stupid it was.

"Look... I don't know... okay?" I was just biting my nail, my arms around me when I felt lost, what the hell was happening here? James didn't seem lost or scared, he just made a smirk that I stared at, he looked cocky, and fuck me that was actually making me feel the slightest like I wonder what his lips would feel against mine.

"Offer still stands, you know that we can still be friends that fucks, that works fine for me too." He made a chuckle that made me smile, oh he was so stupid, that would never work, I tried that with Jonah and look where that got me, head over fucking heels. "But you like me, want to be more then friends, how the hell can I trust that you don't want to take it further after that, or get jealous if I get another boyfriend?" the last part was just to push him, I was never getting another boyfriend, never. He just shrugged like that wasn't a problem and I didn't believe him, not one bit.

"I'm not a teenager Andrea, I know boundaries and rules, and I understand them. If you get a boyfriend, then I will back off, but until you do, then yes. I sure as hell would like to fuck you." He sounded so dark that it made my breath get hitched and my core was throbbing the slightest making me feel so confused, this was James, so why the hell was he acting so f*****g different from before, like he wasn't the sweet, cute guy that made you laugh, no he looked dangerous all the sudden and it made me hot, fuck! I really had the worst taste in men.

"I... no... no James... I can't..." he gave me a smile like he knew that I would give him that answer, and he still tried, well he had some balls on him at least, good for him.

"Well, like I said, you know where to find me, and I'm not going to sleep with Angela, no way." He was smirking more when I made a giggle feeling the pressure getting off my chest, I guess he wasn't that into her then.

"Oh don't tell her that, then she is going to make me work even harder." I smirked now when he just gave me a wink that made me laugh, oh thank God he was acting more like himself again, he was getting dangerously close for me to start thinking that I would just accept his offer.

"Yes, I got that too, she is not the nicest woman I have met, but then again, I'm not the nicest guy either..." he said it darker again making me confused again, no he was a good man, I knew that.

"That's bullshit and you know it James, you are a sweetheart underneath all that hardass you always have on you." I made a face when he made one, sniggering like he didn't think so, but I knew that he was, he helped me, he really did. a bad man wouldn't, even if he wanted to fuck me.

"I'm going to sleep..." I just gave him a tired smile that he nodded like he got it. I didn't want to talk anymore, and I was more then stubborn he ever realised when he offered me to stay here with him.

I was just going up the stairs when I heard him behind me, making me turn around and just look the man that was craving me, just as much as I was craving Jonah, life was not f*****g fair.

"Good night...Andy..." he smiled when I just smiled back, Andy... he must have heard my parents call me that since they and Kayla where the ones who did and nobody else.

"Goodnight James...." I smiled back and started to walk up the stairs again. oh, Angela was going to kill me when she finally got it that James really like me and not her....