Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 86

I was already out on the street, pushing myself around the drunk people when I felt the hand on my shoulder, getting turned around seeing him, looking like he really wanted to start screaming in my face and I felt just the same way, he was f*****g stupid and childish. "Where the f**k are you going, do you think you can just talk to me like that and walk away?!" he was fuming and the grip on my shoulder was getting stronger when I snatched my arm away from his grip, he was not f*****g hurting me tonight, I deserve better than that, I did! "YES! That exactly what I think I can do Jonah! You are not f*****g stopping me from leaving, you got that baby!" I made sure to call him baby mockingly just like he called me babe the last time I saw him. I didn't want to play his stupid games, I just wanted him to stop acting like a f*****g a*****e on edge around everyone.

He looked even more surprised over my answer and got more pissed when he was gritting his teeth, trying not to go full psycho on me and start screaming in a public place where he knew that people could hear him.

"You are playing a very f*****g dangerous game here Andrea... do you think that you are safe just because there are people around, like I can't just f*****g take you and walk away if I wanted to?" He almost sounded tempted to do that when I made a slow gulp seeing that he would. I knew him, well... this part about him, he never made empty threats.

I backed up a step, knowing that he would take a half and just be close to me again, there was no escaping Jonah once he had you in his sights.

"I..... I'll scream!" I just said that, stammering when he smirked back taking another step when I felt my defences starting to crumble. f**k he looked so good even if he was roughed up, having hair in his eyes and just in need of a shave, I didn't even know that he did that, shaved.

"Do it then." He took a step closer when I still was backing up, the snow making it slippery when the wall that was hitting my back made me do a big gasp. I was trapped. Oh fuck.

"Scream." He was closer, leaning over me when I just made a small sound of not knowing what to do anymore, I knew that I should scream, get attention and someone would help me. but I didn't.

I just stared up like a fool into the mesmerising eyes that was fixed on mine, not showing me anything, if he was angry or upset, just nothing and that was the part that scared me the most.

I made a small whimper when his hand was under my chin, just holding onto me when I didn't move. my heart going crazy inside my chest and the hard throbbing between my legs that didn't stop just because he was an addict, I still loved him.

"I'm sorry for leaving you." He made a surprised face, the deep eyes showing me pure sorrow when I was just staring at him, holding my breath, I was sorry, I really was. Sorry for abandoning him, He needed me, and I left him.

"Save it!" He let me go making me miss the touch right away, my skin burning where his fingers had felt me when I just made a small sniffle, I just wanted to be close to him again, was that so f*****g hard to understand?

He pulled back, like I had burned him with my words, and he didn't know what to say anymore, he hadn't believed that I could do that, take some blame for this, for him being like this, but I could, and it was killing me seeing that he was hurting just as much as me. "Jonah please...." I was reaching out my hand toward him, I couldn't take not trying when he was looking so lost. He needed me and I was hating myself for leaving. I just wanted his hurt to end when he just flinched back even more, like he wasn't the one that had followed me, like he just realised that I was trying to comfort him, and he didn't want it.

"You don't get to fucking beg, not anymore! You left me on the ground Andrea, the fucking ground! I loved you and you just used me, just like everyone else!" he was sneering at me when I felt my anger come back, used him?! What the fuck was he talking about, me using him?! He was the one that had lied. About his age, his purpose for our relationship and that he was a fucking drug user that was dealing!

"What the fuck are you talking about, I never used you, never Jonah!" I was feeling the anger raging my body, making my toes curl in my high heels that gave me the slight push I need to get closer to his height, and they where f*****g freezing seeing that we were still outside!

"Sure you did! You just wanted something from me, and I gave everything too you, fucking everything Andrea! You still sold me out to the two fuckers that was supposed to be my bros!" he was yelling now, catching the attention of people further away and I drag him inside the door gate we behind us. I didn't want more attention than we already got making him loose his footing for half a second when he didn't expect me to just drag him by the collar backwards to me.

Our faces being close. The breath that was visible in the cold and the faint smell of sweet mint that was getting me taking deeper breaths, desperate for everything he could give me.

He seemed to be just as stunned being so close, we hadn't been like this since the last time we fought, no. the last time we had pancakes, oh god I did miss that morning, all of it.

"I love you." I mumble the words against his lips when he had leaned over more without realising it when he made a small smile making my heart jumpstart and pull him closer in the collar of the black hoodie, the soft skin of his face against mine and the loud heartbeats that was making me deaf and alive at the same time.

"If you love me, then why the fuck did you abandoned me?" He leaned back giving me a smirk that I didn't get, what the hell was he talking about? I just said that I was sorry, just like he did, I forgave him but not him, nope he was to fucking immature to do that it seemed.

He was still smirking and giving me a superior look like he wanted me to know that he was just having fun, playing me around the way he was acting making my heart heavy when I wanted to start give into the lump in my throat and the overwhelming sadness, he hadn't forgiven me, not by a long shot.

"I want my money back Andrea, the necklace is just the fucking start, and you know it, pay it fucking back or I am going to find other ways to make sure you do." He made me gasp again when he just backed up and gave me an evil smile. My Jonah. Looking so goddam mean and cruel. Making my heart break, he really was an a*****e wasn't he?

"Sure Jonah, I pay you back the fucking money.... "I didn't even try to hide the cold hard hate and grief that was overwhelming me when his eyes shifted for one second into regret and then, it was gone. Only leaving the merciless smirk and hard eyes, f**k. "Good girl." He just said that, then turned around and left me. cold hearted bastard.