Faking It To Survive
Chapter 12

Ryan

I can’t take my eyes off her. My hands just itch to touch her.

Rose stands a few feet away from me in the locker room before my big fight. She keeps her crossed arms and her feet apart while she chats with one of the promoters.

She’s been annoyed with me recently because I haven’t been focused enough, but how can I stay focused when all I can think about is how I almost kissed her on my couch?

She wanted that k**s, too. I could see it in her eyes, but neither of us has talked about it, and I’m too much of a coward to bring it up. What if it turns out she isn’t into me and I only imagined she was?

My feelings for Rose have gone way beyond attraction and friendship. I actually enjoy spending time with her. I find it easy to tell her things I never share with anyone else. I care about her way too much and this fake relationship only makes it harder.

Being seen in public and making sure our relationship looks believable comes with us having to hold hands, me putting my arm around her waist, and giving her pecks on the cheek. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The thought of being with someone else doesn’t appeal to me anymore since Rose came into my life.

“Quit staring at her like a love-sick puppy,” Travis murmurs in my ear.

I ignore him and keep watching Rose. I don’t want her talking to anyone but me, but I can’t exactly storm over there and get in the promoter’s face, can I?

“You said there was nothing going on between you two,” Travis goes on. “You said you were just friends.”

“We are just friends.” I adjust my gloves while keeping an eye on her. That makes it easier not to look at him. I don’t want to find out what he knows.

Travis leans in even closer to my ear and whispers, “So, why did I walk in on you two about to k**s?”

I open my mouth to speak, but someone else beats me to it.

“Who and who were about to k**s?”

The voice comes from behind me, and I jump, only to find my sister, Trina, watching Travis and me.

“Shit, Trina! What are you doing, sneaking up on me like that? When did you even get here?”

My sister shrugs and moves over to k**s Travis on the lips. She wears a floor-length gown and keeps her hand on her swollen belly. Travis keeps a hand on her back and pulls her close to him when she turns back to me.

“Now, who kissed who?”

“Ryan and his personal trainer,” Travis replies.

“We didn’t k**s,” I insist.

Trina turns to her husband. “So what if they kissed? Aren’t they supposed to be in a relationship?”

“This happened at his place. They were on the couch and—”

“Supposed to be?” I cut in. “You told her about our arrangement?”

Travis shrugs.

“Of course he told me,” Trina says. “Travis tells me everything.” She looks me up and down. “So, are you in love with your fake girlfriend?”

“I am not in love with anyone … And would you keep your voice down? She might hear you.” I glance over my shoulder to make sure Rose didn’t hear us, but she’s still talking to the promoter.

Trina grins at me, and her eyes twinkle with excitement. “Aw … I think Ryan has a crush on his personal trainer! I never thought I’d see the day!”

I roll my eyes at her antics. “You do know I’ve been with other women before, right?”

“Oh no, not like this.” Travis waves a finger in my face. “You’ve been distracted all through your trainings this week. If this girl is interfering with your focus—”

“She isn’t doing anything, okay? I just … I have some stuff I’m dealing with.”

Travis doesn’t joke around when it comes to my career. If he senses that me being distracted has something to do with Rose, he could decide not to renew her contract. The last thing I want is for Rose to be out of a job because of me.

I play my last card. “Besides, I thought you liked Rose.”

“Well, she did get you out of that whole mess, didn’t she? She is really good at her job, but I need you at your best, Ryan. You’re going to be fighting Harris Stephens in a few minutes. He’s one of the deadliest MMA fighters in the country. A win like this could set us up for life.”

I run my fingers through my hair out of frustration. “Why didn’t you get someone else for me to fight? This dude is undefeated.”

“So are you. Your last fight doesn’t count because we both know you would have handed his a*s to him if he hadn’t cheated. I need you to get your head in the game, Ryan. Can you do that for me?”

I nod until his expression softens.

The truth is that I’m not one-hundred percent confident about today’s fight. I let the last one mess with my head. Now I’m doubting everything.

I know Rose isn’t going to betray me like my last trainer—I trust her—but a part of me still questions. And then there’s the fact that all the thoughts in my head are about Rose.

I turn around to look at her again and see her coming toward us. She shoots some murderous death-glares at the retreating promoter, who leaves on his way to Harris’s locker room

She brightens up when she sees Trina, sticking out her hand, a beaming smile lighting up her face.

“You must be Ryan’s sister. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Trina smiles back. “And you must be the trainer … and girlfriend.” She winks, and I roll my eyes again.

Rose glances at Travis with raised eyebrows. “Don’t you tell your wife everything?”

Travis stammers incoherently for a minute, and Trina smirks.

“I like this one,” she tells me.

She and Rose start chatting like old friends, and I can’t help but marvel at the way Rose is handling herself. She laughs and grins at Trina like they’re the best of friends. Rose is nothing like the cold, guarded woman who entered Travis’s office the first day we met. She acts freer, more talkative, even girly. Rose never acts this way around men … except for me. Well, not counting the insane attraction and s****l tension between us. I’m humbled that she can be so relaxed and comfortable around me after all I have no doubt she has endured.

I want to shield her from that experience, even though I can’t undo what’s already been done. Still, it nags at me every single time I think of her. If I could take away the memory that haunts her, I would do it in a second.

She and Trina suddenly remember that Travis and I are still standing there, watching them. Trina notices first, and when both women face us, that’s our cue to join their conversation.

“What happened with the promoter?” I ask. “What did the two of you talk about that made you so mad?”

Rose’s scowl returns instantly, and she curls her l*p at the door where the man disappeared. “The misogynistic bastard seems to find it laughable that I’m your trainer. He wouldn’t tell me the house rules until I threatened to show him exactly why I am perfectly capable of training an MMA fighter.”

“That’s my girl.” I ruffle her hair just to annoy her.

She slaps my hand away and punches my shoulder, but she does it lightly.

I grab my arm and pretend to scream and topple sideways in pain. Travis and Trina laugh, and Rose even smirks.

“Oh please, Ryan. You can handle much worse.”

I straighten up and grin at her.

Trina laughs at my clowning, but Travis stands off to one side with his brow furrowed. He’s watching me and Rose way too closely, probably trying to figure out if Rose and I are just friends or something more.

Rose gets serious first, of course. “You are ready, right? You haven’t exactly been your best this week. Should I be worried?”

I turn on my charming, easy-going smile, although I’m a huge ball of nerves inside. I can’t let her see that.

“Nothing to be worried about, babe.” I wink at her, but she doesn’t buy it.

She opens her mouth to say something else when someone comes over to let us know that the fight is about to start.

Travis hands me my mouthguard, and Rose makes one last check of my gloves. Then Travis slaps my chest and pulls my forehead against his. We’ve done this ritual before every fight since we were teenagers.

“Go get ’em, brother.” He claps me on the back with his other hand, and I do the same to him.

When we pull away from each other, Trina k****s me on the cheek. “Be safe, Ryan,” she murmurs, but I forget about everything else when I follow Rose toward the door. It’s fight time, and my adrenaline is pumping.

The noise builds as I head out of the room and down the hallway leading to the stadium. The crowd goes wild when I make my entrance, but just as I’m about to enter the ring, Rose grabs me by both shoulders.

She squeezes in a massaging grip and gives me a shake. “Make me proud, Ryan.” She dives in, plants a k**s right on my cheek, and the crowd goes nuts.

That one k**s puts me completely at ease as I enter the cage with my chest puffed out and my confidence renewed. She kissed me!

Everything changes, however, when I get into the cage and face my opponent. I’m going to have my work cut out for me this time.

Because of what happened during my last fight, I make a point not to go on the offense this time. That was my first and last mistake. Harris Stephens thrives on the offense.

I try to remember Rose’s instructions to attack first, but I’m so wrapped up in my head that my defenses are weak. I retreat and shake the cobwebs out of my head, yet when I try to go back on the offense, Harris smacks me down every time.

Every blow confuses me even more. Pain and frustration get the better of me. She warned me against this, too, yet nothing I do makes it any better.

I throw punches, but he deflects them all. He can see my every move coming a mile away. He doesn’t need any insider information to anticipate me.

My arms and legs feel like I’m trying to swim through solid peanut butter. I see the fight slipping through my fingers. I need to rally and swing it back my way, but another three quick blows to both sides of my head stun me and I stagger against the cage.

He pounces, throwing punches at my head and kicks to my body. I can barely defend myself anymore, and every blow sends another rocket blast of pain straight to my brain.

He finally lunges straight at me, grapples his arms and legs around my body, and hauls me to the ground. He body-slams me onto the mat, pins me, and pulls me into a crushing arm hold.

I struggle, but he only tightens his grip. Dozens of voices bombard me from all directions—boos and cheers and instructions. Only one stands out from the din.

“Tap, Ryan! Tap now!”

It’s Rose. Her voice eases the excruciating pain in every part of my body. I can hold out some hope if I can just find her.

I try to locate her in the noise and confusion. I blink b***d out of my eyes, but everything keeps spinning.

“Don’t be stupid, Ryan!” she yells. “Just do it!”

I know exactly what she’s asking me to do. There’s no shame in tapping out, Ryan. I remember those words like she just said them to me yesterday.

I can’t break free from Harris’s hold. He gives my arm one last brutal twist. If I don’t tap now, he’ll break my shoulder, and then I’ll be finished.

I swallow my pride and tap the mat twice before I start slipping into unconsciousness.

The referee grabs me and flips me over onto my back, but right before the world goes black, I see her.

“Rose,” I choke.

She’s smiling, and her voice drifts into my brain. It’s the last sound I hear before I pass out.

“I’m proud of you, Ryan. You made me proud.”