Fall For My Ex’s Mafia Dad
Chapter 87

I can't help myself, then, as I turn my face to Ivan, a tiny moan on my lips that he snatches away with his mouth on mine.

I kiss him without remembering to breathe, so hungry for him that I forget myself - hungry for his joy, his laughter, his ease and his jokes - the way he lets me escape the rest of my world and lose myself in him. Ivan's mouth is hot against me as he wraps me in his arms, twisting his body and me with it so that I'm all tied up in him, his back now flat against the cushions and my chest pressed on top of his as I take control of the kiss. His hands feel like they're everywhere, all over my body, and I want them there - and I slip my own hand beneath his shirt, feeling the flat stretch of his stomach, the ridge of the v of his muscles as they disappear into the top of his pants -

But suddenly I gasp, pulling away - remembering another stomach - another stupid pair of pants -

I sit straight up, aghast, staring down at Ivan.

"Fay," he says quietly, sitting up, looking at me with concern. "What's wrong?"

I just stare at him, appalled at myself. How could I - Kent was -

"It's all right," Ivan whispers, putting out a tentative hand and brushing a curl of my hair behind my ear. "It's okay. We don't have to. Do you want to - go inside?"

"No," I breathe, shaking my head, my body starting to calm down.

Because, of course, Ivan isn't going to make me do anything I don't want to. I realize that, as I stare at him.

The real problem is that I...I don't know what I want. And with everything that happened with Kent - the intensity that grew between us until it broke - until he broke - I hadn't realized...that maybe this, with Ivan... Maybe this is what I want? Want more?

Or...is it just Ivan is the one in front of me right now...and after twenty-some years of celibacy something has broken in me and I just want to have s*x with everyone -

I sigh and hang my head, shaking it, so terribly confused. "No," I say, closing my eyes and letting myself rest. "Can we just...can we just stay out here?"

"Of course," Ivan responds instantly, leaning back against the cushions and looking at me with concern. He takes my hand and tugs on it, inviting me to come close and relax. I move to sit next to him, putting my head on his shoulder, knowing that he'll let me take the lead. That he won't push.

We're quiet for a long minute, Ivan reaching for two more beers from the bucket and handing me one. I take it, giving him a little smile, truly grateful that he's...well, that he's being so nice to me.

"So, Rodrigo," I say with a little sigh. "Tell me how you grew up."

And he does. Ivan invents a long story for Rodrigo for me, of his childhood raised by panthers and his early years in the sands of the Sahara, including weird twists and heart-wrenching turns that have me laughing long into the night. A few hours later, my head still pillowed on Ivan's shoulder, I fall asleep listening to the sound of his voice.

The next morning the dawn light wakes me, rudely peeking through my lashes and invading my sleep. I rub my eyes, the early-morning air cold and dewy against my skin, and look to Ivan slumped against my side, still asleep.

I smile as I look at him and raise a hand to softly brush his hair back from his handsome face. Ivan flinches a little at my touch and then I watch him blink awake. As he does I think about the intimacy of that of watching someone wake up, of their body still pressed to yours.

"Hey," he says, his eyes falling on me.

"Hi," I whisper, unable to keep the smile off my lips. It comes, unbidden, whenever he looks at me like that.

"You're pretty," he mumbles sleepily, lifting a lazy hand to tug one of the rumpled stands of my hair.

I laugh a little, opening my mouth to deny it, but I'm interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening to the deck. We both flinch a little, turning towards the man standing there, dressed in black. One of Kent's guys.

"It's time, miss," he says, his voice serious. "He wants you home. Now."

"Oh?" I ask, biting my lip with disappointment. "No breakfast?"

Slowly, the guard shakes his head. I turn my attention back to Ivan, but his eyes are on the guard.

"Can you give us a minute?" Ivan says to Kent's man, using a tone that reminds me that Ivan, too, is the head of a criminal organization. The guard hesitates but Ivan twists his head a little, his mouth tightening, letting the guard know that it wasn't really a question. Sighing, the guard goes back inside, closing the door behind him.

"Can I tell you something Fay? Before you go?" Ivan asks quietly, his voice more serious than I'm used to, and definitely too serious for dawn. "Just between us?"

I cock my head to the side, some instinct in me prodding me to pay attention, so I sit up and look him in the face. This is...different, than the carefree Ivan I know, who always acts like he can handle anything. Instead, now, there's real worry in his eyes. "Okay," I breathe. "Sure."

"You need to be careful, Fay," Ivan urges, his voice tentative. "I wanted to tell you this last night - but we got distracted. And now time is short, so I'm sorry that this is abrupt, but...things are changing in the criminal sphere. Something big is coming- I don't want you to get caught up in it. But you're very close to some of the big players in this war. I'm worried that you could get swept away in it."

I feel myself go pale as I listen to him, fascinated. I knew that there was...discord between the families, but I never thought...

"Are you one of these players, Ivan?" I hear myself ask, my voice steadier than I thought it would be as my mind races to think of Kent - of Daniel -

"I am," Ivan says quietly, nodding slowly and raising a hand to cup my cheek. "I can protect you, if you...if you'll let me."

Slowly, I reach out and take his other hand, needing to know more. "Are you suggesting that...maybe Kent can't?"

"Fay," Ivan whispers, leaning closer to me. "I can't - I don't want to say anything that will make it worse, or get you into hot water at home. But..." he looks at me seriously, his eyes locked on mine. And then he swallows, like he's made a hard decision, and speaks all in a rush.

"Kent's going down, Fay," Ivan insists, moving his hand from my cheek to behind my neck, wrapping his fingers softly in the hair at the nape. "He's on the wrong side of - of everything. You have to get out of that house while you can. If you come with me, I can protect you."

I move away from Ivan suddenly, shocked - scared - glancing over my shoulder towards the door, my heart starting to race.

"No," Ivan says, urgent, his hand slipping from my neck to my shoulder, pulling me back. "Not right now - there's time - everything's fine, I didn't take you out of there last night to like, make a move while you were gone." Ivan shakes his head and I watch him closely. "Just think about it," he concludes softly, his eye wide. And deep down, everything in me tells me that...this is not a play for power. Or if it is, that beneath that play is a real concern for me. A desire to keep me safe.

"Thank you, Ivan," I say, biting my lip. "I will think about it."

And then I lean forward, pressing a kiss to his mouth, letting myself linger for just a moment with my eyes closed, wondering if this...

But then I pull away and stand up. He watches my every move.

"I have to go," I whisper, holding his gaze for - well, maybe for too long.

And then I turn, and leave, nodding to the guards in the house to let them know I'm ready. And as I walk out the door, I know Ivan is behind me, watching my every step.