Foul Ball
Chapter 46: Macey

I woke again at five forty-five, still deliriously tired. Jayce was still snoring next to me, and for a moment I just laid there and looked at his face, noticing the tired lines in his eyes and the way the five o'clock shadow was starting to form on his chin. He looked bad. We both did.

Knowing that I needed some time for myself after last night, I put my clothes back on and sneaked out the door before Jayce stirred, walking straight across campus to my car, which I promptly slid into and started up, cracking the heat full blast. There was a mere chill in the air on this warm May morning, but it might as well have been blizzarding for how cold I felt.

The driveway was empty when I got home, so I assumed Kylie was gone already. The front door, however, was unlocked, a rare occurrence when neither one of us were home, and I stepped in tentatively, looking around. "Kylie?" I called, going to the kitchen. "Are you home?"

"Hi, Macey," someone said, coming out of the kitchen, and I turned in her direction, jaw dropping to the floor.

"Mom." The shock in my voice was nothing compared to the full-brain shutdown my body seemed to be experiencing. My mother stepped forward, hesitant at first, and then with more determination. She reached her arms out to hug me, but when I didn't return the movement, she hugged me anyway, her thin arms embracing me like she used to do when I was a child. "What are you doing here?" I whispered. "How did you get in? How long have you been here?"

"Is that any way to greet your mother?" she asked, holding me out in front of her so she could scope me out. "Jesus, Macey, you look like an entirely different person."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, but she didn't catch the sarcasm.

"How much weight have you lost?"

"Too much," I said, and my mom shook her head.

"I should have come earlier," she said, and I had to fight the urge to say, Yeah, probably as my mother stepped around me to take a seat on the couch, patting the empty cushion next to her.

"Your nice roommate let me in before she left for work," she said. "I was just about to call you. I haven't been here long, a few minutes at most."

"Where's Dad?" I asked, shutting the front door behind me with a bit harder force than necessary.

"Work," said Mom, and I had to stop and think about that for a moment.

"Didn't you say he lost his job, Mom?" I asked, recalling that during my visit for the wedding he'd been asleep in the chair almost the entire time.

"He did, Macey," she said, turning in a circle to check out the entirety of my apartment. "And then he got a new one."

"That's good, I guess." The truth was, I wasn't any closer to my dad than I was my mom, and that's how it had always been. Even Melanie hadn't been able to secure my father's unconditional approval before the accident. Sometimes, I wondered if he'd wanted us at all.

"So," Mom said, clapping her hands together in that obnoxious way that grinded my eardrums. "What have you been up to?"

I almost laughed. "Up to? You mean besides the whole cancer debacle?"

Mom sighed like I'd totally disappointed her, shaking her head. "It would be nice if you could try, Macey."

"Try what?"

"Try to be happy that I'm here. Try to welcome me into your home without spewing hatred."

"Seriously, Mom?" Glancing at my work boots near the door, I kicked off my sneakers and slipped the boots on as my mom continued to stare at me from her place on the couch. "Sure, I'm glad you're here, but this isn't a good time. I have work this morning."

"No worries,” Mom said, clapping her hands like Betty Crocker might. "I can wait for you here, can't I?"

"Uh, sure. I guess." Zipping up the jacket I hadn't bothered taking off, I backed towards the front door. "You're welcome to use the TV down here or hang out in my room. Just-please don't go through my stuff, okay, Mom?" "I would never," said my mother, and I bit back a retort, wanting desperately to remind her of all the times she'd let herself into my and Melanie's room to snoop when we were teenagers.

"Ill see you soon," I said, stepping out the door and closing it firmly behind me. Fingers trembling, I went to the car and got in, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mother was in Colorado, poking around my house. I arrived at the fire station a short while later, going straight to the kitchen where I knew Hansen would be making breakfast for everybody.

"Well look at you," he said with a grin, turning to glance at me as I took a seat at the empty table. Outside the back window, I saw the guys (and girl) running drills up and down the tower stairs. "How are you, sweetheart?" "Better," I lied, and I could tell at once that Hansen didn't believe me.

"How's the chemo?" he asked, and I shook my head, pushing his question aside.

"Mom's here," I said instead, taking a bite from the plate of eggs and bacon that Hansen laid out in front of me, but I could only swallow a tiny bit without feeling the need to hurl it back up.

"She's here?" Hansen asked. "In Denver?"

"Yep."

Hansen said nothing to this for a moment, just watched me push my food around from the other side of the table.

"You don't seem too pleased," he said after a moment, and I shrugged, pushing my barely touched plate aside.

"Mom is full of drama," I said. "The things she says and does...I don't know. It can be trying."

Hansen laughed, sliding my plate in his direction. "She's always been like that," he said. "Even when we were kids. Your mother is only tolerable in small doses."

"Yeah, well, ever since Melanie was killed, it's been a hundred times worse, as you know."

"I know." Hansen sat down in the chair across from me, his brows furrowing as his eyes scanned my face. "Do you want her to leave?"

"Yes."

"How about before she does, we all have dinner together?" Hansen said. "You should bring Jayce, too, and his mom, if you're up for it. She can meet Melissa."

"You and Paisley, too," I said with a nod. "I think that's doable."

"It might be easier to kick her out with some backup," said Hansen. "We've got your back, Macey."

I worked a few hours of my shift, running only two calls with Addy before I was too tired to go on anymore, too shaky to take a patient's blood pressure. I called my mom before I left the station to go to class. I'd been missing a lot of class recently, and if it wasn't for Jayce, I would have already failed out, I was sure.

"I'm going to have some people over for dinner," I said when my mom answered the phone. "Jayce and his mom Melissa, if she can, and Hansen and Paisley, too."

"Why?" she asked, the disapproval in her tone evident.

"Because they're my friends and family and I think it would be nice to do while you're in town," I said, only half-lying.

"Oh, all right,” Mom said. "But I'm not cooking. You can order pizza."

"That's fine, Mom."

"Are you on your way home? Are you done with work?"

"I'm done with work but I still have class. I'll let you know when Jayce and I are on our way over this evening."

I knew she wasn't pleased with this answer, but I didn't much care. She was lucky I was willing to entertain her at all, let alone with some of my closest friends and family members.

Fatigue started to overcome me once more as I left the station, and I reminded Paisley to make sure they came over tonight. As I parked the car and began to walk towards campus, a sensation of lightheadedness overcame me, and I had to stop walking, supporting myself on a tree before I fell down.

"Mace?" a familiar voice said behind me. It was Kylie, and I felt her warm hand wrap around my wrist, voice dripping with concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," I said, trying to wave her off without vomiting. "Thanks."

"Did you go home this morning? Your mom showed up looking for you, but she said she'd call."

"Yeah, thanks, Ky."

"No problem. Is she staying?"

"I hope not," I said, inhaling a deep gulp of air. I pushed myself off the tree and moved forward, fighting the nausea in my stomach. "But she might be here for a couple of days. I can tell her to get a room." "Don't be silly," Kylie said. "Things are going really well with Peter-"

The new boyfriend, I reminded myself.

"And he already asked if I wanted to stay with him for a few days. If I do that, then your mom can have my bed or you can have my bed, if either of you want it."

"Thanks, Ky," I said, stopping again to catch my breath in the middle of the quad. "We're having dinner tonight at the apartment, you and Peter are welcome to come."

"Thanks for the invite, but we've got plans already." Flashing me a smile, Kylie's expression suddenly turned unsure. "Are you sure you're okay, Mace? No offense, but you kind of look like shit."

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"Thanks," I said, and Kylie flushed red.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay, I know I do." Before Kylie could respond to this, a second figure approached us, and I was relieved at once to see that it was Jayce. He spotted me and stepped up to my side, linking his arm around my waist. "Talk to you later," Kylie said, vanishing through the front doors. I looked up at Jayce, who was watching my face, gauging my expression of pain.

"You left early, before I could see you off," he said. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because you were devastated last night," he insisted, putting his hands on my shoulders to stop me from walking away. I grimaced, humiliated that Jayce had seen me like that.

"It's all part of the process, right?" I said, unconsciously reaching one hand up to touch my hair. "It's just hair. It doesn't matter."

"Macey."

"Hey, is your mom free tonight?" I asked, taking Jayce's hand and walking towards the building before he could continue getting after me about it.

"I don't know, but I can ask her. Why?"

"My mom showed up," I told him. "This morning."

Jayce's hand tightened on my own. "Where? At your house?"

"Yep."

"Did you ask her here?"

"Nope," I said, and then, recalling the last conversation I'd had on the phone with her while she was still in Michigan, I sighed. "I made a comment about that if she wanted to take care of me, she could come here. I most definitely didn't think she'd take me up on it."

Jayce laughed, lightening the mood just a little bit. "How long is she staying?"

"Not long, I hope. Hence the reason for the dinner tonight. Maybe my friends can reassure her that there's no need for her to be here."

Jayce pulled me to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk and kissed me, running his fingers down the side of my cheek.

"I'll be there," he said. "And I'll call my mom right now to see if she's free. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," I agreed, then popped up on my toes to kiss Jayce, grateful, as always, for his unwavering support and kindness. "See you tonight at dinner."

~ ~

In hindsight, maybe inviting all my closest friends over for dinner with my mother had been a mistake on my end. I'd hoped for the best and refused to expect the worst, but ten minutes into a meal of pizza, soda, and breadsticks, I knew this had been a mistake already.

"I'm just saying," my mother said, rattling on like she had been doing the last fifteen minutes as every person around the table tried to give her their undivided attention. "I don't know if this new little life of yours is the one you need right now, Macey." She was speaking to me, but she wouldn't look at me. Her eyes kept flittering from one person to the next, as if trying to find someone to challenge her. Under the table, Jayce squeezed my hand.

"I think Macey is doing really well here, Mrs. Britton," he said. "We're taking good care of her."

The look my mother shot Jayce was blood curdling, and I wanted to slap her. To scream. Yell. Kick her out. But I did none of those things.

"No one can take care of a child like their mother," she said instead with a haughty sniff. "And Macey knows that, don't you, Macey?"

"Theresa," Hansen warned from the other side of the table where he was sitting with Paisley, but she brushed him off like a piece of lint to focus on me.

"I'm doing fine here, Mom," I insisted. "I have Jayce and Melissa, and Uncle Erik and Paisley, not to mention the entire fire station. Everyone looks out for me."

"She's doing fine, Theresa," Hansen said, and my mother shot him a look so angry, so withering, that I almost ducked under the table to hide.

"Don't speak to me about my children, Erik," she said with a snarl. "You wouldn't know anything about having them or raising them, so don't pretend to."

"That's not really fair, is it?" Paisley piped up. "I think Erik will make an excellent father, and he and Macey are close. Maybe it's just something you need to come to terms with."

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I wanted to applaud, to stand up and clap for my uncle's girlfriend, but I resisted the urge, shooting her a grateful smile across the table instead.

"Look," my mom said, turning her anger on Paisley. "I don't know who you are or how long you think my brother will be interested in you, but this is none of your concern."

"There's not a person at this table who doesn't have a right to be concerned about Macey," Melissa said softly. I'd almost forgotten she was even there. So did everyone else, by the startled looks on their faces. I expected Melissa to stop talking, to apologize maybe, because that's just the kind of soft-spoken person she was, but she didn't. Not even close.

"Excuse me?" Mom asked, and Melissa chuckled a bit, shaking her head. She put down her cup of soda and zoned in on my mother.

"You heard me," she said. "There's not a person at this table or in this house that doesn't have a right to care about Macey. We all love her, and she's a part of our lives. All of us. And if you can't see that, I feel sorry for you."

My mom's nostrils flared, and I worried that she might just come across the table and bitch-slap Melissa. Not like Jayce's mom couldn't hold her own, but it worried me just the same.

"Macey," Melissa said, her eyes focusing back on me. "I won't say anything that I don't believe you will agree with, but is your mother someone you believe is actually helping you right now, or " "How dare you," my mother hissed, rising from her seat at the table. "This girl is my daughter, and I intend to stay and support her whether you like it or not."

"Mom," I said softly, reaching for her hand. My fingers brushed hers, but she jerked away from me, spitting mad now.

"Not now, Macey," she snapped, turning her undivided attention on Melissa. "I have every right to be here. She is my daughter, not yours, and she needs my support."

"Mom," I said again, more forcefully this time. "I think Melissa is right. I think this visit has been more stress than relief."

A heavy silence settled over the table, and my mother wheeled on me. "What are you saying?" she demanded. "Am I not good enough to be your mother now? Am I not good enough to support you?"

"Look." Melissa stood up from her seat at the table and took a small step towards my mother, who took a hesitant step back. Why, I don't know, but Melissa was one of the only people I'd come across who wasn't intimidated by my mother's attitude. "Macey is fighting this thing with all the support she could possibly need," she continued, her soft, kind eyes landing on me reassuringly. "But I think you being here is putting added stress on my patient." "Oh,” Mom said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. "So, she's your patient now?"

"She always has been."

"Really. You could have fooled me."

"Mom, stop."

My mother turned to look at me then, and the expression on her face was one I wish I could have avoided seeing for the rest of my life...no matter how long or short that might have been.

"Of course," she said softly. "Of course you move here, away from home, far away from your father and me, and you find a new family. A new home. A new life. And we no longer matter to you, do we?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the urge to yell, to scream, to make my mother feel like she'd made me feel the last few years.

"Mom," I said quietly. "After Melanie died, you became different. You were...angry with me. I kind of felt like you blamed me for the accident, and it was difficult to live with."

"Right," my mother said, her eyes narrowing in my direction. "It was difficult for you, Macey. Never mind how I felt, right? Or your father?"

"I know you were hurting." At this point, my voice cracked, and I had to make a valiant attempt not to break down and sob in front of everybody. Jayce's hand tightened on mine encouragingly, and that's exactly what I needed to continue. "But I was hurting too, Mom. I still am. The accident wasn't my fault, and you know that, but you didn't really care, did you? You had to blame someone, even if it was your own daughter."

For a moment, my mother said nothing to this, nothing at all. But then when she spoke again, her tone brimmed with an iciness I could have lived without hearing.

"You were driving," she said quietly. "You were driving, and now Melanie is dead."

I opened my mouth. So did Jayce. Pain rattled through my body, a pain so intense and so overwhelming that I thought the pain alone might cripple me before I could defend myself. But then someone else spoke before anyone else could, and his voice boomed across the table, across the room, across the apartment.

"Leave," Hansen said, and his eyes narrowed into tiny, dangerous slits that I'd never been on the other end of. "I love you, Theresa, we both do. But I'm only going to ask you this once. For Macey. Go home. Go home and do whatever it is you do. Macey has family here. She has support. And you're not helping."

"How dare you," Mom hissed, and for a moment I could have sworn that sparks of fire lit up her eyes. "First this bitch nurse and now my own brother. God, tell me what I did to deserve this."

"Please go," I said softly, reaching over to rest my hand on my mothers. I half expected her to slap me away, but she didn't. Not this time. "I'll call you when I can, Mom, but I don't think it's a good idea that you're here. Okay?" "Oh, Macey,” Mom said, shaking her head slowly. "You're making a mistake. I should have known that letting you move across the country with Erik would ruin you. I should have fought it, should have kept you home." "Moving here was the best thing that happened to me," I said, and my mom looked away from me, at the wall, as though she could no longer face me.

"You want me gone?" she asked, standing from her chair. She looked around the table at the faces watching her, challenging each person as though ready for a duel. Then she looked at me, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Consider me gone."