Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 11

NATASHA.

The house interior was more or less what I had expected for a home-like his. No garnish splashes of yellow on purple here, but a soft blend of creams and greens, which contrasted beautifully with a subtle placing of a dark wine red color, set against the kind of unashamed luxury which made an absolute mockery of what I had assumed was the most luxurious home back in the Malakari pack.

Though the quality of my surroundings was the last thing on my mind when only a few minutes later, I found myself standing inside a large room with this man and at last, began to feel the vulnerability of my situation.

Maybe he was beginning to realize the same thing, because he released a small sigh, then turned to face me.

“You okay?” he asked guardedly.

No, I wanted to reply. I’m not okay and I want to leave and run away from all this misery. But common sense, or stupidity, I wasn’t sure which, stopped the words from coming.

“You’ve been using this room,” I remarked instead, having noticed the signs of inhabitation in the few personal items I could see scattered about.

“I had my things moved this afternoon,” he confirmed. “I want to always be around you.”

I smiled a little wryly as I turned away from him to pretend to take an interest in my surroundings, mainly because I couldn’t think of what to say.

Another silence formed, and I sensed him watching me as I moved around the room, opening the doors I see and closing them before moving to another.

Throughout the ride here, I didn’t feel this scared. Perhaps, it was the prospect of being alone with him that scares me a lot. Or the fact that I still do not know how he’ll react towards me when I mess up. But while coming here, although we sat at the back seat together with Kane driving, I didn’t feel this heavy feeling on my chest.

After we had arrived, he had dismissed Kane for the night and we were left alone – and the crashing fear came back in folds. It’s the second day since we met, and I had spent a better part of the morning and afternoon today sleeping.

“You can use the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said quietly, gesturing towards the cream-colored layered bed. “The bathroom is that way if you may want to take a bath.”

I shifted my gaze back to him. He had his hands in his pockets, his hair, which is very similar to my 4c type of hair, was now tied in the middle of his hair, leaving a few locks to fall to his face, and he looked oddly too…scary. I may have brushed it off when we left the hospital, but something had changed in him ever since he saw the scars on my body. By the time I had stepped out of the room after changing, he was pacing around, with a dark scary look on his face.

“Did…ahrm…did…” I tried asking, but somehow, I couldn’t bring out the words.

“I can leave the room if you’re not ready for that yet,” he said, shifting nervously. “You…”

“No!” The words rushed out of my mouth too quickly. “I mean, no…it’s fine. You…you…can…stay…” I said, dropping my gaze.

“I’ll stick to my side then. The couch,” he said with a large grin as he gestured towards the couch.

‘He’s so smitten by you,’ Erin said.

‘By us you mean?’ I said sarcastically.

‘He’s never met me though. So it can only be you. But I feel his Lycan. Fierce and …’

‘Shut up!’ I snapped, suddenly feeling my cheeks heat up. When I came out of my daze, I found Aiden staring at me intently.

“Is everything okay? I can leave if you want to. I’ll be in the room beside yours so I can know if you need…”

“No. I was…just…wondering if you’re okay…?” I trailed off, biting my bottom l*p.

“Sorry?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

“I…I mean…you looked…angry?” I said nervously

He stared at me for a moment, before he walked over to the three-seater wine-colored chair in the room.

“I’m not angry, Nala,” he said quietly, pulling the black boots he wore off. “I…just sleep. Rest. It’s been a long day today,” he added, refusing to look at me.

‘Something is wrong with him. Go to him. Ask him,’ Erin urged.

‘I thought you didn’t want him? I thought you said he wouldn’t want us?’ I snapped, suddenly getting irritated.

‘That was before I actually got to know him!’ she snapped back.

‘Oh, so now you know him? How much of him do you know?’ I taunted her.

‘Enough to know he wants us. Enough to know he’s not like Matteo,’ she said quietly, her voice dropping at the end. ‘Even though I’m not completely sure how I should feel about all this, I do know one thing. I want things to work between us all. And only when we open up can that be possible,’ Erin finished.

‘But…’

‘I do not mean that you should jump on him and lick him clean, or that you pull his pants down and suck him like you were forced to do twice. No, all I’m saying is we should try to. We shouldn’t block him off completely because of the mistake of another. Only when we try, would we know if he truly wants us or not,’ she said. ‘Not saying you’re not trying, I know you are. And I liked when you spoke up about skinship. We can take things slow as he said, and open up slowly.’

NATASHA.

The house interior was more or less what I had expected for a home-like his. No garnish splashes of yellow on purple here, but a soft blend of creams and greens, which contrasted beautifully with a subtle placing of a dark wine red color, set against the kind of unashamed luxury which made an absolute mockery of what I had assumed was the most luxurious home back in the Malakari pack.

What had gotten into Erin? I wondered as I stared into blank space.

‘I gave myself a pep talk after the panic attack you had. In all honesty, I want this. And so do you. I figured being scared and negative about the situation isn’t going to help either of us. I want us both to hold onto the fact that things might actually work out, that perhaps, we are going to get our happily ever after someday. But do you know what made me seal my mind with this decision?’ she asked.

‘No.’

‘While you were eating and asked that our mate shouldn’t touch you just yet, I could feel the lycan reaching out to me. You felt it too, but not to the extent that I did. But as soon as you asked not to be touched, he recoiled back, and I realized he was respecting your decision even if you weren’t talking to his side. For the first time ever, someone listened to our request and honored it,’ she finished.

I could hear the vulnerability in her voice. Feel the anxiety in her. In all honesty, both Erin and I are hopeless romantics. The romantic scenes I stole a look at from movies Matteo and Camila watched made me wish I’ll experience something similar someday. At least, that was what I had hoped for before I found out Alpha Matteo was my mate.

Everything she said was true. But getting rid of the fear isn’t going to be easy. However, as she said, it can only be possible when I try. And that is what I am going to do.

Try.

So, instead of going to the bed as he said, I walked to the chair and sat beside him, leaving a little space between us.

“Do you know how to maintain anger?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything, but his gaze hardened more as his eyes trailed my bare neck, and then to my wrist.

I quickly pulled the sleeve of the shirt I wore and covered my wrist, then pulled at the collar of the shirt as well to hide the scars on my neck.

“When one is angry at something, the best thing to do is to ignore that thing. Or talk about it with someone. However, the more you hold it in, the angrier you become,” I said, my eyes cast down.

A moment of silence stretched before I heard him clear his throat and then speak. “What do you suggest I do now?” he asked, inching just a bit closer to me. “I keep looking at you and getting angrier with each passing second.”

“Huh?” I asked in confusion, my heart suddenly thudding fiercely as fear gripped my soul.

“Those…scars. They make me angry,” he said, his hands tightly fitted into fists.

“I…”

“I look at them and I want to scream my lungs out, Nala,” he said quietly, his eyes getting darker and darker.

Oh no, he was getting angrier.

“I look at them and hate myself for not finding you sooner. I look at them and wish I can burn the person responsible to crisp, after ripping him or her limb by limb of course.” He paused, his chest rising and falling in rapid breaths. “I look at them and I want to scream. Or better yet, I want to hold you so tightly in my arms and assure you that everything will be fine. That nothing like this would ever happen again. I…I…I just wish I could hold you right now,” He finished, his eyes getting darker and darker with each passing second.

I swallowed, unable to shift as I watched him inch closer and closer till he closed the space I had left between us. I couldn’t move, not even when he raised his right hand towards my neck but stopped halfway. I couldn’t move, not even when he made to stand up but suddenly lost his stance and nearly fell on me. Instead, I stared at him wide-eyed as his large frame covered me without him touching me.

He braced himself on either side with his hands resting, without touching me. Not even a bit

“Nala…” He breathed, staring at me through his hooded lashes. “I just want to take care of you,” he added, still unmoving. “I just want to take away your pain. K**s away your scars. Make you feel safe wrapped in my arms. Chase away your demons. But you’re scared of me, and it kills me that my mate is scared of me. The scars I see do not make me feel any better,” he swallowed hard, his eyes dropping to my neck again.

As I sat there staring at him, waiting for who knows what to happen, I began to imagine what would happen if he truly touched me even after I had told him I wasn’t comfortable with it yet. While I didn’t want to think about it, my treacherous mind kept shoving the image of him kissing me. Of him touching me. Cradling me in his embrace.

And I suddenly wanted nothing more than his touch. His k****s. His embrace. All over me. I wanted it all. Now.

“No touching,” he said ruggedly, his voice hard and hot. “No touching.” Then he shut his eyes tightly and made to move away from me.

But for some unknown reason, for some wild unimaginable reason, I found myself holding the edge of his shirt. I was suddenly hot all over. My stomach grumbled and twisted. A wrenching pain squeezed my stomach tightly as I let out a small whimper.

‘Something is wrong with me,’ Erin whispered, her voice coming out in broken pants. ‘I…I…..Argh!’ she screamed, thrashing around and causing me to do the same.

‘Something is wrong with me,’ Erin whispered, her voice coming out in broken pants. ‘I…I…..Argh!’ she screamed, thrashing around and causing me to do the same.

“Nala…” Aiden called, holding me in place. Everywhere he touched, heat rose from there, as though a hot iron rod was placed on me. At the same time, I felt a calming sensation like no other, the feeling making my stomach erupt in wild tremors that threaten to take my breath away.

“To…touch me…” I cried, my eyes welling up with tears. “Touch…me…” I panted.

“Are you okay? What is that smell?” he asked, sniffing the air as his hold tightened around me. Then quite suddenly, he picked me up and laid me on the chair, his body framing me.

“You’re in heat,” he murmured. “But you shouldn’t be. At least, not now. Not yet. What is going on?” His voice was panicky. “Calm down. Calm down, Nala. Let me get you something cold.”

“No!” I shrieked. “Don’t leave me,” I cried, thrashing around again. “You… can’t. I’m hot…” I sobbed.

I didn’t know what was happening, or what was going on. Or how I plan to work this out. All I knew is that something was wrong with me. And the only thing I wanted and needed right now is Aiden’s touch. Just his.

I trashed and sobbed, wishing he’d simply touch me and take away my pain. But he didn’t. At least, not until a loud cry escaped my lips.

“I shouldn’t do this,” I heard him say through his daze. “Not when you’re in heat and not in your senses. Nala…”

“Touch me,” I mumbled, shutting my eyes. “Stop talking and do it,” I added.

And the next thing I knew was being held by a pair of large strong hands, and a mouth pressed against mine. My senses went into a complete tailspin, sending shock waves ricocheting through my body as the sweetest feeling overwhelmed me.

I was a puddled mess at his mercy. But worse than any of that, I wanted this. I wanted to respond so much I began to whimper. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t want this. But I do. And I can’t seem to stop it. Heat began to pool deep down my abdomen, desire licked a taunting flick across my breasts.

It was too much. Goddess help me, I want this man.

His lips were hard and hot as they moved against mine. I wanted more. More. MORE. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer and kissed him as though my life deepened on it. I gasped when his finger lightly grazed the tip of my bud, and he used that moment to bite my bottom l*p, however, refused to shove his tongue into my mouth like I wanted him to.

I should feel better now that he has kissed me. Now that he had touched me. But if anything, I wanted more. More. And more.

There was just something at the pit of my stomach that needed to be set free, and it is fiercely calling me to do that.

I became a whimpering mess as his k****s grew harder. They trailed down my neck, to the exposed part my white blouse had left. I g*****d when one of his palms covered one of my breasts. The knot in my stomach tightened. And then his lips were back to mine.

Goddess, this was too…much. Too slow.

He tugged his l*p from mine, and his hand that held the side of my face gingerly shifted to wipe a trail of tears, while the other stayed behind my head.

“I’m going to stop here. Nothing more,” he panted, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “You aren’t in your right senses. You shouldn’t be in heat right now, something must be wrong somewhere. This isn’t a normal heat,” he murmured, lightly grazing his lips against mine. It felt so good. And I felt so alive.

“Do…nt…don’t…stop…” I pleaded, shutting my eyes.

“Look at me,” I heard him say. I pried my eyes open, only to find myself staring at gold eyes. They looked so alive. So inviting. After a moment though, they vanished, replaced by the dark eyes I’ve slowly started to get accustomed to. “What do you want, Nala?”

“Tou…ch.” I mumbled. “I want you to touch me.”

“You’re not okay. You’re in heat. But you aren’t supposed to be in heat right now…” he trails off, holding me close to him. “I won’t do anything more to you.”

“Can…can…”

“Come here,” he said softly, the side of the couch dipping as he sat and they pulled me to his side, wrapping his arms securely around me. “Just lay your head against my chest, listen to its loud thudding because of you, and sleep, Nala.”

“But…” I tried to argue, the intensity at the pit of my stomach increasing. “I need to let go. It…is…too…much…” I sobbed, squirming against him.

“I’ll help,” he said after a moment of silence. “Let’s see if this helps,” he murmured, picking me up as he stood up.

I only want to let go. And I prayed to the Goddess that he knows the right way to help me with that.