Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 18

NATASHA

I took a deep sigh, struggling to settle the rhythm of my heartbeat. I still held the handle tightly, despite being told to step in, I couldn’t. Now that it was time for me to do this, I could feel my legs shaking.

I knew I was about to panic, and that wasn’t a good sign. I needed to do this for us. Both Erin and I. And because I want to give myself a chance to be happy as well. Like Erin said, we did deserve it.

“It is going to be fine, okay?” Aiden said, he squeezed my hand again, his hot breath fanning my face as I took in his scent. “I promise you everything is going to be okay. If it feels too overwhelming, just call my name and I’ll come get you, okay?”

I nodded, my palms getting sticky and sweaty. He leaned in closer, and now more than ever, his scent was invading every sanity within me. I shut my eyes tightly. Waiting.

However, I had no idea what I was waiting for. But when I felt his breath even more close, and then the feel of something warm grazing my forehead lightly, I squirmed, and again, something warm wet my pants for the second time.

He kissed me. No, he gave me a small peck. However, just a small peck on the forehead shouldn’t have this effect on me. It really shouldn’t.

‘I feel weird,’ Erin whispers, her voice pitched a little.

I feel worse, I wanted to say, but couldn’t because he was fixing my messy bun. All through, I had my eyes shut, afraid that once I opened them, they’d show my inner turmoil.

“That is much better,” he breathed, leaving a curl dangling on the right side of my face. “Open your eyes, Nala,” he whispers.

I pried my eyes open and found him staring at me intently, his eyes growing darker. Then he took a step back, and a sudden coldness suddenly washed over me.

“Take a deep breath,” he continued. “That’s it. You can do this…” His nose suddenly flared, as he made to move closer and touch me but stopped, his hand mid air. “Are you…okay?” he asked, his eyes squinting.

“I am fine,” I replied too quickly, then forced a smile. “I’ll go in now,” I added.

He sighed, pushing his hands into his pocket as he took two more steps back, giving me back my space.

I inhaled a deep breath once more, turned to look at him before I pushed the door open and stepped in.

I didn’t know what to expect. But I had always assumed that seeing a therapist meant I’d simply have to lie back on a sofa and talk while some impersonal white coated professional took notes and nodded at everything I said.

However, I found myself standing in a small warm office with an ash sofa and a young woman, who seemed to be a bit older than me, sitting behind a desk.

She had a beautiful smile, a shiny caramel skin and brown braids that made me wish I had braided my mess of hair.

“Welcome!” she beamed again, standing from her seat behind the desk and approached me. I still stood rooted by the door, my hand still held the door handle, as though I was waiting for a reason to bolt out.

“Come, come have a seat,” she gestured towards the sofa by the side, overlooking the white curtain that flaps due to the air blowing from the open windows.

I dragged my feet towards the sofa, while constantly biting my bottom l*p. I sat on the edge of the sofa, as though afraid something may happen if I get too comfortable.

“Good afternoon, Natasha. I can call you that, right?” she asked and I nodded. “My name is Doctor Lily,” the grin on her face still intact as she settled on the sofa opposite me.

“Uhmn…Hello Doctor,” I said awkwardly, shifting. I was a nervous wreck. That much was evident.

“Thank you for coming in today. It’s nice to finally meet you in person after I’ve been briefed about you by Doctor Phil. I know it can be nerve-wracking to meet a new therapist, or in its entirety, start a therapy session. I’ll be asking some personal questions today, so I thank you for taking the step to come in. You don’t have to answer if it becomes too much, okay?”

I simply stared at her, unable to bring my cords to move so I could speak.

“Today we have a little bit of a different meeting than a regular therapy session. Today I will ask some nosy questions so I can really understand what’s been going on. But don’t worry, you can ask me nosy questions right back if you want to. However, like I said, you don’t have to answer any of the questions if you don’t want to. Like I said, this is more of an introductory meeting and nothing more. Our sessions start in three days,” she continued.

I stared at her blankly, thinking of what to say. Come to think of it, this might not even work and at the end, she might not understand what I am going through.

“Is…this necessary?” I finally asked. “I mean…do I need to do this? The deed had already been…”

“Which is exactly why you need this, Natasha. I am certain you need this and you’ll see that you do once you allow yourself to fully start this,” she explained, leaning closer on her seat. “We’ve now scheduled a 12 weeks CPT course of treatment with weekly sessions of 60-90 minutes.”

“And what is that?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Those sessions would be a bit hard from the start, but that is only because it is your first time doing this, and you are revisiting your traumas.”

“I…I…can’t do this…”

“Of course you can,” she smiled encouragingly. “You can do this. You aren’t doing this for anyone but yourself. You are doing this because you matter, because you need to heal from the past. Being mentally stable is part of loving oneself, and I’m certain you want to love yourself, don’t you? Besides, you won’t be losing anything by trying this.”

She does have a way with words, I thought as I stared at her. However, she was right, I won’t be losing anything by trying. I do want to heal, I do want to let go of the past, but I can only do that by trying. So, I looked up at Doctor Lily then smiled and nodded my head.

“Yes, it won’t hurt to try, Doctor,” I said.

‘That is the spirit, Nat. Heal for both of us. Heal for yourself,’ Erin whispered.

I simply smiled. By the time I left the doctor’s office, I wasn’t shaking as much as I did when I stepped in. And somehow, seeing Aiden pacing around outside the doctor’s office did something to me.

It made my heart flip a little before it settled.

“Nala,” he rushed towards me, the relief in his eyes shone as he stared down at me. “How was it?”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” I replied with a small smile. Somehow, talking to the therapist had given me a bit of confidence.

“So you would come back?” he asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“I should,” I replied quietly. “I will,” I added, more determined this time with my response than before.

He stretched his hand, as though to cup my cheeks but pulled them back. I know he was trying to be considerate. And I liked that. Although I did want him to touch me, which was weird, considering I always shy away from his touch. But for some unknown reason now, I craved his touch. His scent. His warmth.

“I am happy to hear that,” he grinned, his beards jutting in. “Come, I’ll take you home,” he offered, stretching his right hand towards me, his palm turned open.

I hesitated, clasping my hand behind me. It wouldn’t hurt to take his hand, right? Except I knew that, with the new feeling creeping within my core, the simple touch would cause me something else.

After much deliberation, however, I placed my right hand timidly into his and watched as he clasped it tightly.

He stared at our joined hands before meeting my eyes, and I ordered myself not to notice the heat of his skin, or how broad he was, or . . . anything else about him. I also didn’t want to focus on the sensation it brought to me, or the tightening of my stomach even more.

Ever so slowly, he intertwined our fingers, brought them to his lips and lightly grazed them across my hand.

I nearly melted. And I could swear to the Goddess that my underwear became even more sticky than before.

Again, his nose flared at that, as though he knew what was going on inside of them. A small growl left his lips, causing me to squirm yet again.

Goddess! What was I turning into?

“I should get you home,” he said quickly, as he began to walk, with me beside him.

I didn’t do anything as I followed him. It feels only right that I should get home because I do not like the sticky feeling of my underwear against my body.

As we walked down the hallway to the reception, I heard hushed whispers, and people pointed at us. None approached us however, and I was grateful for that. I don’t need the attention.

As we rounded a corner, however, and perhaps, had just a few steps to be outside, I saw a woman crying, with two nurses standing around her. I stopped in my tracks, focusing my gaze on her.

“I don’t want it. Just let me be,” she cried, burying her face in her palms.

It took me a moment to realize who she was. She was the woman Aiden had helped out of the car. However, on closer look when she looked up, considering the space between us wasn’t much, I saw the bruises. Before I could stop myself, I untangled my fingers from Aiden’s and took long strides towards her.

“Give her some space,” Aiden commanded, the nurses instantly moving back. He walked behind me, the heavy sound of his footsteps booming from behind.

I walked up to where the woman now crunched, her face buried between her knees. I kneeled before her, then slowly tapped her shoulders.

“Hi,” I murmured, thinking of what to say. I was awkward dealing with people, and I never made the first move. But for some reason today, I am. And despite the fact that I felt a bit nervous doing this, I didn’t stop. “It’s okay, the nurses are gone. You can look up,” I added.

When she finally looked up, it was as though I was looking at a different version of myself right before me. She had large doe eyes, filled with tears. A scar that runs from her right brow down to her chin. And bruises, many bruises. Including a split l*p, which made me instantly touch mine.

Her skin was a little lighter than my shade, despite how malnourished she looked as well. Perhaps, she may have noticed my scars as well, because her expression suddenly changed from fear to understanding.

“Hey,” she replied, trying to smile.

“Are you okay?” I asked, adjusting the shawl over my shoulders.

“Mmmn,” she nodded, her eyes trailing down to my wrist. “And you?”

“I’m fine too. Better than I was yesterday,” I smiled. “Why are you crying?”

She looked around for a moment, stared at me before she spoke. “I am scared of injections,” she murmured.

“Oh!” Was all I could say, because I was also scared of injections. I disliked them with passion. But I wasn’t about to tell her that. “I suppose you need to endure it for your sake,” I began. “As it is, you need to get treated.”

“But…”

“I’ll make sure to give them a warning and to make it as pain free as possible, Tiffany,” Aiden said from where he stood behind me.

Oh, great! So he knew her name.

The woman, Tiffany, looked up at him, and I could see the admiration. But even I knew it was pure adoration towards someone who may have saved her from something. But still, I didn’t like the way she looked at him.

“Thank you, Your Eminence,” she replied.

“My name is Natasha. I am…I am…his mate,” I blurted, not knowing why I did that.

Her eyes widened, before she inched back and bowed her head.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty. I had no idea…”

“Stop it,” I rushed to say, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I…it’s…”

“Nala was simply introducing herself,” Aiden came to my rescue, falling into step beside me. “You don’t need to do that. She doesn’t like it when people do that,” he added.

I nodded quickly, looking around the reception and noticing the attention I was getting. Goddess! What was I thinking?

‘You weren’t thinking. You were stacking your claim!’ Erin laughed. ‘Look at you becoming all possessive,’ she added, and I wished there was a way I could smack her.

“Uhmn, I’ll be leaving now. Make sure you get that injection, feel better and fight back,” I told her, but I know those words had more effects on me than her.

“You will be well taken care of here. After you heal, I’ll find you a new home. Remember to be strong. Okay?” Aiden said.

“Thank you, Your Eminence,” she bowed her head again, then turned to me. “Your Majesty,” she bowed to me as well.

I waved my hand and quickly began walking away. The attention I had drawn to myself was slowly suffocating me, and I found myself cussing at me because I messed up.

Neither of us said anything as Aiden walked us to the car. Now that I wasn’t focused on who was coming out of the car, I realized what car it was and what model.

It was a white BMW M5 G-Power Hurricane. I had always been obsessed with cars, and like I studied PTSD, I researched cars at every single opportunity I got to explore Matteo’s computer. But after the horrible ride with Matteo, my enthusiasm got knocked down to admiration about its abilities and beauty. I still absolutely LOVE cars and everything about them, which might seem weird, all things considered, but I never blamed the event on the car, rather the driver.

“A Hurricane. She’s beautiful,” I murmured with a small smile, running my fingers along the body.

“She?” Aiden asked, raising one of his brows.

“Um, yeah. She. Beautiful things are always women,” I replied, my eyes still fixed on the car.

He stared at me. I could feel his gaze on the side of my face. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke.

“How did you know its name?” he asked, pulling the side door open. He then inclined his head a bit, gesturing at me to get in.

“Is it bad that I know her name?” I asked, looking up at him. I had thought I’d find him glaring at me, or better yet, growl at me for touching his car and knowing her name. However, all I saw was…admiration. Nothing but admiration.

“You like cars,” he simply said, inclining his head again. I sighed, tightening my shawl around me despite the sun being at its peak before I stepped into the car.

The interior was just like I had expected it to be. Lush plush chairs, enough space for one to stretch their legs and feel comfortable. I was so engrossed taking in the interior, and didn’t notice when Aiden had stepped in. At least, not until I felt him lean against my body and fastened my seatbelt. His fingers lightly grazed the tips of mine, and again, I felt it. The warmth seeped through every nerve in my body.

He didn’t pull back, his body was stretched, while his face was directly across mine. His scent was overwhelming now, combined with the cologne he used. It made my senses go overly high, and for the ‘only Goddess knows what time,’ something dropped in my panties again.

His eyes dilated, and he leaned closer, the tip of his nose almost brushing mine. Almost. I shut my eyes quickly. Waiting. Waiting for what? I had no idea. Then I felt the light graze of his calloused fingers against my cheeks before it vanished. He moved away.

My eyes flew open quickly, and I found him adjusting his tie as he unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.

“Let’s…” he cleared his throat, then spoke again. “Let’s get you home.” Then he ignited the car and drove away.

The ride was silent. Dead silent, except for the song playing, which was not helping how I felt in any way.

“That…that woman…” I began, breaking the silence. But before I could continue, Aiden’s phone rang. It was connected to the car bluetooth so I could see who was calling. Kane.

However, he made no move to pick the call and simply turned to look at me, as though telling me to continue what I wanted to say.

“No, you can pick the call.” I said.

“It can wait, Nala. You are more important,” he replied.

Before I could allow myself to dwell on the feelings the words evoked, I swiped the screen and answered the call.

“Aiden, the coach insists that you need to come for training. The match is in three days and he is getting agitated,” Kane said as soon as the call had been answered.

“Tell him I’ll double my training hours tomorrow. It is almost 4pm now and I need to take Nala home. We just left the hospital and…”

“I want to go,” I found myself saying. “I don’t want to go back home yet. Can we go for the training?” I asked. Truth be told, it is not that I didn’t want to go back home, it’s because I didn’t want to be alone with him. He does things to my heart that no one ever did. And it made me uncomfortable.

That, and the fact that I felt weird. Hot. Squirm at his little touches.

“You want to go there? You don’t mind watching me train?” he asked, a glint in his eyes.

“If you don’t mind me watching, yes,” I replied, fidgeting.

He stared at me for a moment, and it made me wonder why he always does that. But I didn’t comment on that.

“I’ll be there in ten, Kane,” he replied then ended the call.

Another moment of silence stretched, before I decided to speak.

“What type of training is that and what for?”

“I guess you must be hungry. Should we go get lunch first?”

Both he and I spoke at the same time, and I found that funny.

“You go first.”

“Ladies first.”

Again, we spoke at the same time. We locked gaze for a fleeting second before he turned his attention back to the road, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips.

“Nala,” he spoke, and this time I said nothing.

“Hmn?”

“Can you place your hand in mine, please?” he asked, dropping his right hand in the space between us, while he held the wheel with his left.

I dropped my gaze to his open palm, recalling the way it had felt when he held me after I was done with therapy. I knew he was trying, from yesterday to today, I knew Aiden was more than trying. It’s just that I’m too broken to trust or allow myself to enjoy the fact that someone wants me.

‘Take it, Nat. Hold his hand,’ Erin whined. ‘I understand what you are going through, but you can’t keep punishing me as well for Matteo’s crime. Please, Nat, start by giving him little chances like this,’ she finished.

Now that she said that, it sounded like I was being selfish. I was only considering my feelings without hers. And while I may be scared of being broken again, I won’t deny the fact that I wanted to feel what it was like to be loved.

So, after a bit more hesitation, I placed my palm in his. I heard him sigh, before he clasped his hand tightly around mine. The warm fuzzy feeling was back at the pit of my stomach.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his lips pressing against the back of my palm. “Thank you for trusting me, Nala.” His eyes flashed grey before it quickly vanished.

“It’s fine,” I replied, trying to pretend as though the touch didn’t affect me.

“I play football by profession,” I heard him say.

“Are you serious?” I asked eagerly, turning to face him. “You are a footballer?”

“Yes, Nala,” he replied, chuckling. “I am. How is it that you never knew your king had a profession?”

“Well, it shouldn’t be a surprise considering I didn’t even know your name before this…before the mate bond,” I explained, gesturing between us. “And I assumed that royalty has no bother with any other profession,” I added.

“Why would you think that?” he asked.

“Key word here, Aiden, ‘assumed’,” I answered, crinkling my brows.

“So you assumed I won’t have another profession.”

“Yes,” I confessed, nodding. “I thought all royals do is sit behind a table and stamp petitions. So, yeah.”

“Tell me, do you like football, Nala? Your interest seemed to have piqued the moment I spoke about it.”

“Oh yes! I love football and I love cars! I did sneak in from time to time to catch a glimpse back at the pack house when they were watching. Which was no surprise why I didn’t know about you. I just love the game in general. So tell me, are you a striker? A defender? Or a midfielder?” I asked, eager to hear his answer.

I didn’t know I was becoming comfortable, too comfortable until I heard him chuckle. Then the chuckle turned into laughter. His shoulders shook as he laughed, and he tightened his hold on my hand.

This is what happens when I talk about things I like.

“I play the number 9, which makes me the attacker,” he explains.

“You look like someone who would be a midfielder or a winger,” I expressed. I was finding the feeling of being able to express myself quite amazing.

“Really? Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because of your broad shoulders?” I asked sheepishly.

“Nala!” he laughed. “Broad shoulders? Is that an excuse to play both positions?”

“I guess so,” I replied, with a small smile of my own as I leaned deep into the seat, my body getting warmer with each passing second.

“You are amazing, Nala,” he whispered, kissing the back of my hand again. “And I will always, always want you. I promise you that,” he added.

My eyes welled up with tears, as I took in his words. Would I ever get used to this?

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“No. I’m fine. Mama gave me a heavy breakfast, and I had fruits before we left for the hospital. So, I’m fine.”

“Okay. I’ll get you something before we get home after my training,” he replied.

“Thank you.”

Silence stretched. But this time, it was a comfortable silence. Although I was getting uncomfortable with each passing second, I didn’t show it.

“Your parents…”

“They are dead,” I said quietly, staring ahead. “My father was the pack’s cobbler and my mum was the cook.” I explained. My mood dropped significantly, but for some reason…not as badly as it used to. It felt weirdly ok to tell him about them.

He didn’t say anything, except for the pressure of his hand increasing on mine.

“I’m here,” he said after a moment. “I’ll always be.”

“Tha…thank you,” I replied, my voice a little choked.

Soon we arrived at a large building, which looked like a stadium but which wasn’t. Five men stood outside, including the one called Kane. They rushed towards the car as soon as it stopped, with Kane opening the side of my door.

“I can perfectly handle opening the door for my mate, Kane,” Aiden snapped as soon as he stepped.

“I was merely helping. Chill!” Kane scoffed.

He had brown hair, which was styled back and a low undercut below.

“Greetings, Your Eminence,” the remaining four men hit their chest with their fist and bowed their heads.

“These are my teammates,” he said as he stood beside me. “This is Badr,” be pointed to the fair skinned guy among them with a mustache, and sideburns. He looked like he’s from the Kahari pack, who live in the Saharan part of the kingdom.

“And this is Jarmain.” He pointed at the bald guy, who was huge. Very huge. “And this is Braine, and lastly, Omar,” he finished, pointing at the last two guys that seemed to have the same body build. Braine has dreadlocks, while Omar had his hair almost similar to Aiden’s.

“Guys, this is my mate,” he said, taking my hand in his.

“Greetings, Your Majesty,” they greeted me the same way they greeted Aiden, and I felt embarrassed.

“I…I…Thank you,” I stuttered. “I’ll just watch on the side…” I gestured with my hand.

“Will you finish showing off your mate before you get here?” A loud booming voice said ahead from us.

Aiden chuckled, pulling me towards where the voice came from. I found myself staring at a huge middle aged man. He was bald, and his head shone under the remaining light the sun left. He wore a black tracksuit, similar to the white one the other five men wore.

“Your Eminence,” the man greeted.

“Good day, Coach,” Aiden greeted, stretching his hand for a shake. They shook their hands before Aiden introduced me to the coach.

After the introduction, I was led to a row of chairs, protected with a stand. Aiden brought me drinks and some cheeseballs to snack on before he ran to the field, pulling his suit off and the shirt he wore underneath.

I found myself staring at a half-naked Aiden from the top, and the prickling sensation was back. I could feel the way my heart thundered, the way I licked my lips as I watched him run around the field, sweat trickling down his bare body and into his pants that he still wore.

I swallowed, a sharp pain piercing my stomach. A g***n escaped my lips as I crunched down, Erin pacing and tossing in my head. The pain was…too much.

I didn’t know for how long I remained in that position, but soon, I inhaled Aiden’s scent, which made me look up instantly.

I licked my lower l*p as I took in his appearance. The way he was breathing. The way his chest rose and fell. The way sweat trickled down his body. The way he looked at me.

“Let’s get you home,” he mumbled, crunching down and picking me up. I buried my face in his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around him. I wanted more. This wasn’t enough. So, I did the only sane thing my mind and Erin told me to.

I licked his chest.

“Nala…” he g*****d, pulling the door open and settling me in the car. He pulled away, shut the car and walked up to his side.

I curled up in my seat, refusing to move as the pain intensified. It seems as though, having him close was making things worse for me. The car slowly began to move.

Flames danced across my skin and my body was hot. Hot in the sense that I was dripping with sweat, while my core burned. I clasped my legs tightly, wincing as something wet dropped in my underwear. I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t move. It was as though my senses had been heightened to a certain degree.

The dull ache that had begun at first was now a pulsating throb.

‘Touch…him…’ Erin m****d. ‘This is too much,’ she added.

“Aiden…oh Goddess, it…it…hurts…,” I gasped, not knowing how to explain what was happening. My breath came out in short pants as though there was something drumming in my ears.

My skin burned. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted his fingers on me. His tongue. His mouth. Every inch of him. Through my dazed gaze, I watched as he stopped the car, stepped out of it and kneeled before me after pulling the door open.

“Why is your body so cool beneath my palms?” I slurred, my fingers sprayed across his chest as I enjoyed the feeling.

“I shouldn’t do this,” I heard him say as he cupped my cheeks. “I’ll give you a small peck. Let’s see if that helps,” he murmured.

It was a little more than a peck. Just his lips pressing against mine, and his hand on the back of neck to steady me. But that wasn’t enough. That wasn’t what I only wanted. So, I bit his bottom l*p, using the opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth.

A rush of satisfaction settled within me, and I pushed myself into him even more.

I didn’t know what was happening, but I’ll be damned if I break this k**s without feeling better.

But it seems that won’t last long, as I felt the tip of Aiden’s fingers lightly graze my n****e through my dress.

Oh my! Dear Goddess!