Heart Of A Lycan King
Chapter 54

AIDEN.

“Your hair has straightened out more,” I commented as I twirled a lock of her hair on my finger.

“Yup!” she replied, popping the p sound like I usually do. That made me smile. My woman was picking up my habits. “Ever since Allira styled it for the ceremony, it has straightened out more. I love my curls, but they are hard to maintain. I like it more now, and I’m thinking of getting a new style.”

I smiled again. Her happiness was infectious. Despite my anger, it was impossible to maintain it around her. “I like it as it is, very similar to mine. Only difference is that yours is longer. But if the Queen wants a new hairstyle, then she gets one,” I replied, leaning down a bit to place an open mouthed k**s on her neck.

My recent obsession.

“Do you think everything will be fine?” she asked quietly. “I’m scared that something may go wrong with The Shadows and…”

“Everything will be fine, Nala. I promise, nothing will happen to you.”

“And Mav…”

“Can we not talk about Mav and The Shadows tonight? We’ve talked about them this afternoon enough. I just want to enjoy a peaceful night with you, Nala,” I murmured.

She looked at me through the mirror then smiled and nodded her head. I love this woman, to bits and pieces!

I was still pissed ever since the meeting ended. While I am a bit settled now with what The Shadows might want and how we can help them, I can’t help but feel anger at the prospect that Nala had gone to the arena!

I had tried to ignore it or pretended like it didn’t happen, but the thought that we may have hurt her in our feral state didn’t sit well with me. It angered me, as much as it angered Leo, and for the past few hours, I have been trying so hard to contain my rage and keep myself in check.

When I woke up, I couldn’t remember her being there, but the thought was tingling at the back of my mind. It was only after she had mentioned it during the meeting this afternoon that everything clicked in place.

Goddess! What would’ve happened had I hurt her?

‘Ask her why she went there. Or if I injured her. I need to know!’

‘She looks fine! You think we wouldn’t know if she’s hurt?’ I hissed.

Her soft sigh brought me out of my reverie. She seemed to be getting used to the small k****s I steal from her, which is great. I resumed straightening her hair so I could pack it into a bun. The anger and worry was returning, and it was becoming unbearable to control Leo. He wanted me to ask why she had done that. Why she risked herself by being there, but I’m not sure how to word my question correctly. I want, no need to know, but I don’t want to sound accusing.

“Can you please pull softly?” she called, wincing a bit from the pain.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away,” I mumbled quietly, all in an attempt to stay sane.

“I can finish up,” she said, pulling her hair just a bit from my hands. But instead of letting her do that, I dropped my hand from her hair and leaned down a bit and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, sucked in a deep breath before I locked my eyes with hers in the mirror.

“I love you, Nala,” I whispered, feeling the desperate urge to say that.

She smiled, a warm smile that reached her eyes, albeit the tension I could feel between us, which I think must be related to what we’ve learnt a few hours ago. She leaned back a bit into me, and I tightened my hold around her. Surprisingly though, she kissed my arm lightly and turned a little to look at me.

“Please, don’t do any reckless thing that would put your life in danger anymore. I can’t take it,” she whispered.

I twirled the chair around so we were facing each other. Then I kneeled down, cupped her face in both of my arms and kissed her temple. “I’ll be careful, Nala,” I replied, loving the way her body relaxed underneath my touch and k**s. She seemed to be getting used to me and everything else. “You smell so nice,” I added, nuzzling her nose.

She laughed, placed her hand on my chest and pushed me back a little, before she moved close to the edge of the chair, bought the arms up and wrapped them around my torso. “You smell even better,” she replied while restiutes of silence stretched, just us, staring at each other, wrapped in each other’s embrace.

“Aiden, are you mad at something?” she suddenly asked. “And don’t even try to argue with me on that, I saw it. I know you’re angry at something, I just can’t say what. Care to share?” she finished, pushing away from my hold.

I sucked in a deep breath, shut my eyes tightly so I could settle the rhythm of my heartbeat. Weird as it may seem, it feels like she knows why I am angry, and was waiting for me to voice it out.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” she said softly.

I looked up at her. “I don’t look angry though. Do I?” I asked, knowing fully well what she was talking about. I should just speak to her instead of going in circles!

She eyed me carefully, and I nearly laughed at that.

“Fine, fine,” I said, intertwining our fingers. I brought our locked fingers to my lips and pressed a light k**s on hers. “I’m not really angry…”

“Don’t lie to me, Aiden,” she said, her voice a bit heated as she pulled her hand away, pushed the chair back a little to create space between us. “You may not know, even I didn’t know that till now. But I know when you’re angry and trying to hide it.”

I sighed, then turned away. What a fool I am! It seems I didn’t do well in hiding my anger, and she had already noticed. I do want to talk to her about it, but I just don’t know how to start or what to say.

I was angry, no, furious is the right word. But I don’t want to scare her off at the same time…

“If you don’t have anything to say, I do,” I heard her say, and it didn’t sound good.

I turned to face her. She had pulled her legs up and tucked them underneath her. Her gaze was hard as she pinned it on me, her lips parted, and looked way too inviting for a k**s. On normal circumstances that is.

“Nala…”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?” she asked calmly. Too calmly if I may say.

I knew instantly what she was asking about but in my defense, I did it for her.

“Am I that…useless? Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you told me that you challenged Matteo to a fight?” she continued in the same way too calm voice.

“Nala…”

“Because that was exactly how it seemed to me,” her voice rose a little. She fixed the opening of the nightgown she wore around her throat when she caught me watching and eyed me.

“That was not what I meant, Nala. I was only trying to protect you and…”

“Protect me? Protect me, you say?” she laughed humorously then stood up and began pacing around. “How does putting yourself in danger protect me? How does spending almost a week looking at you fighting for your life protect me, Aiden?!” she thundered.

Goddess! I had never seen her this angry. Leo pushed back into my consciousness. It seemed as though he was letting me handle all of this alone.

“It seems you still don’t want to talk,” she growled a bit and turned away. I rose and quickly grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving.

“I was taken aback because I’ve never seen you this angry,” I quickly explained.

“Well?” She stared at me, her face rigid.

“I had no ulterior motive, Nala. I just couldn’t let him be after knowing, albeit you have not really told me anything about what you went through in that pack. That and the fact that he had the audacity to insult you in my presence,” I growled.

Silence. Thick, unnerving silence stretched, causing me to think if I had let my anger about her being at the arena show.

“You aren’t getting the picture now, are you?” she calmly said while closing her eyes and shaking her head in slow movements. Like she was disappointed.

“Nala…”

“I’m not mad you wanted to defend my honor, Aiden, I’m mad because you didn’t deem it fit to tell me about it. This has everything to do with me even if it didn’t involve me directly, and yet, I only get to hear it from Donald? Am I that insignificant to you?” she asked, her voice shaking a bit. She pulled her hand away and wiped at the tear that had left her eye. “I know I’m an insignificant woman still fighting through life and learning to embrace herself and accept her mate. I know I have a long way to go in this thing called relationship. I am very aware of your patience towards me all through this, and I deeply appreciate that. However, I wish you’d stop treating me like I’m something…fragile,” she finished in a sad and bitter tone, dropping her gaze.

Something bitter rose from my throat and I struggled to push it down. Her words struck a nerve, but I didn’t let the impact get to me.

“Was that why you went to the arena?” I asked, my voice sounding harsher than I wanted it to. “Was that why you threw yourself in harm’s way to prove you aren’t fragile, Nala?” I almost hissed. Almost.

“What are you saying? I went there because I heard you were fighting and…”

“You shouldn’t have then. You said it yourself, I was fighting. Why would you go there?” I snapped.

“Because you are mine and I wanted to know if you were okay!” she yelled, stamping her foot. “I went there because I heard that the one person I care so much for in this world was fighting with the one I hated the most. I went there for my sanity, Aiden. Because YOU ARE MY MATE!” she thundered, jabbing her finger at my chest.

Goodness, she really was pissed. And she just called me her’s. It’s like she’s openly declaring her love to me. Despite her anger, she was still trying to let me know how much I mean to her: and that…that was everything.

“Like I said, I wasn’t mad you felt it necessary to fight for my sake. What hurts was that you made that decision all on your own. We are mates, Aiden, we should be able to talk to each other. That may be hypocritical on my part, because I’ve not told you about the hell I went through in that pack, but that’s only because they aren’t worth talking about and I’d rather spend my day cuddling with you in bed than revisit those dark days. I also didn’t say anything about it because it was a touchy topic for me.

“That was my past, and I endured it alone with no one by my side. I had no one to talk to about that even if I wanted to, which was why I didn’t talk now. Because it’s all in the past and I’m very much happy with you now. This is different, however. This is about OUR future together,” she emphasized on the word ‘our’, her brows pulled in. “This is us, and as mates, we should be doing things together, not separately. Just because I didn’t tell you about my past doesn’t mean you can’t discuss our future with me. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m doing, or that I don’t know what I want. I want you, Aiden, that much I already know. That is why I’m so mad you didn’t consider me a mate enough to share things like that with me. And you know what makes it worse? You trying to justify it right now!” she finished, her voice hard and angry.

I swallowed hard, her words sinking in. This is the first time Nala was talking this much. I tried to reach Leo, but despite him being a Lycan, Nala’s anger seemed to have gotten to him as well. Coward.

“I’m not justifying anything. I did that to protect you and I will do it again! I can’t have you exposed to danger, Nala. I can’t take it if anything happens to you.”

“So you are allowed to be worried on my behalf and I’m not? Make it make sense, Aiden!”

“Well, you’re also hiding something from me. What is going on with Phil?”

She looked at me as though I had suddenly grown two heads.

“Really? Is that where you really want to go?” she asked, disappointment crossing her face. “That’s a low blow even for you.”

“Well, then, answer me. What are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing that has to do with you. I promised not to say a word about it and you won’t make me, Aiden. This is about us, not anyone else. Stop trying to find excuses!”

“I’m mad that you went to the arena while I was in that state. Yes, I said it! It angered me so much that I wanted to scream. What if I had hurt you? What if…”

“But you didn’t. You didn’t hurt me, Aiden. And if I had only known in advance that you were going to fight, it would’ve been easier to handle. Imagine how I felt when I learned about it out of nowhere?!” she yelled, throwing her hands around.

“Well, I’m worried too. I’m worried you’d get hurt and my instinct was just to protect you regardless of the outcome. I was worried.”

She laughed. A small laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. It was humorless, filled with so much anger and pain. “Oh! So you’re allowed to get mad on my behalf and I can’t? I am your mate and whatever has to do with you involves me. The sooner you realize that the better for both of us cause I’m not stopping anytime soon!” she jabbed at my chest once more, wiped the tears that rolled from her eyes and turned to leave.

When I tried to follow, she turned and looked at me sharply. “Just let me be, please.” With that, she pulled the door open and left.

I sucked in a deep breath, my head pounding from all the exchange. I had messed up, and I knew that. Kane’s words returned to my mind. He had been right, I had messed up by hiding this from her. It hurt her feelings and – worse of all – possibly her trust. I saw that. I saw the damage that I had done to her, and I had no idea how to work on it.

She has never been this mad.

‘Leo, how do we deal with an angry mate? Especially one we’ve never seen this angry before?’ I reached out to Leo.

‘Maybe k**s her senselessly, and I don’t mean the sloppy k****s you fed her with some minutes ago. K**s her like your life depends on it, although, I guess it does depend on it. Anyways, just k**s her till she forgets why she’s angry and wraps every inch of her body around you and…’

‘Damn you!’ I snapped.

‘What? You asked for advice. Just look at how inviting she looks right now. Hair packed, perky n.ipples from underneath the night gown and…’

‘Leo!’ I growled, shutting my eyes tightly so I could get rid of the image Leo had successfully etched in my mind.

‘Just go fix the mess you created, you piece of s**t!’ Leo growled. ‘I have no idea how to tell you to fix that cause I’ve never seen her that angry.’

‘What? We did this together…’

‘I wasn’t the one that hid it from her…’

‘But you agreed!’ I hissed. ‘You agreed that it is best to keep it from her so we can protect her.’

‘That I did. But I didn’t hurt her feelings just now. So you go out there and fix the mess you created!’ he snapped. ‘You put your ego out there. You should’ve just explained to her why you did that without trying to justify what you did. You ruined it the moment you did that.’

‘Really? Why didn’t you come forward and handle it then?’

‘Because she didn’t ask for me. If you can’t fix it, then I will.’

I sighed. This was too much. I needed to go fix things. Nala was right, communication is always the key, and until we learn to communicate between us, this can’t work the way we hoped it would.

So, I stood up, pulled the door open and followed her.

Time to set things right. She’s my woman after all, and I wasn’t about to let the night end with her angry at me. With both of us angry precisely.

A man knows his games!