Heartprints in the Void
⊰ 12 ⊱ Between Anger and Hope

The shrill of my phone cuts through the quiet of the afternoon, startling Naomi from her play. I glance at the screen, my heart sinking as I see Ava's name flashing there. Just like it has every day for the past two weeks.

I've been avoiding her calls, still raw from the revelation of her involvement in Cade's hypnosis. But today, something makes me pause. Maybe it's the weariness of carrying this anger, or maybe it's the tiny voice in my head reminding me of all

the years of friendship we shared.

Whatever it is, I find myself answering.

"Hello?" My voice sounds strained even to my own ears.

"Elys?" Ava's voice is hesitant, hopeful. "I... I wasn't sure you'd pick up."

I close my eyes, fighting the urge to hang up. "What do you want, Ava?"

"I'm in town," she says quickly, as if afraid I'll cut her off. "I was hoping we could talk. Face to face.”

Part of me wants to refuse, to shut her out completely. But another part, the part that remembers late-night study sessions and shared secrets, makes me hesitate.

"I don't know, Ava," I say, watching as Naomi toddles over to me, her little face curious. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Please, Elys," Ava's voice cracks slightly. "I know I messed up. I just... I need a chance to explain. In person."

I look down at Naomi, her big eyes staring up at me.

*What would I want her to do in this situation when she's older? Hold onto anger, or at least listen?*

...

*Holding onto anger is good for no one.*

I can hear the relief in Ava's voice as she agrees, and I end the call before I can change my mind.

An hour later, I'm pushing Naomi's stroller through the familiar paths of the park. The late afternoon sun casts long shadows across the grass, and the air is filled with the sound of children playing and birds chirping.

I spot Ava sitting on a bench near the playground, her hands fidgeting in her lap. As I approach, I take in the changes in her appearance since I last saw her. Her usually metallic silver hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail, dark circles under her eyes betraying her stress. She's lost weight, her cheekbones more prominent than I remember. As she stands, I notice her shoulders are hunched, as if carrying an invisible weight.

"Hi," she says, standing as we reach her. Her eyes flick to Naomi, a soft smile touching her lips. "She's growing so fast."

"Yeah, she is," I say, my voice cooler than I intended. I settle on the beach, positioning Naomi's stroller so I can keep an eye on her. "You wanted to talk. So talk."

Ava sits back down, leaving a careful distance between us. "I got a job here," she blurts out. "I'm moving to the city next month."

I blink, surprised. "Oh."

"Yeah," she continues, her words coming faster now. "It's a great opportunity, working with a research team at the university. But... that's not the only reason I took it."

I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

"I miss you, Elys," she says softly. "I know I messed up, I know I hurt you. But you're my best friend. I was hoping... maybe we could try to be friends again?"

The sincerity in her voice makes my chest ache. I look away, watching as Naomi bubbles happily to herself, playing with a stuffed animal.

"I don't know if I can do that, Ava," I say finally. "What you did... it wasn't *just* a mistake. You watched me fall apart for months. You *knew* why Cade left, and you said nothing."

"I know," Ava's voice is thick with tears. "And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. But Elys, you have to believe me, I thought I was protecting you. David... he threatened to hurt you if I said anything."

*That doesn't make it okay.*

I turn back to her, seeing the pain etched on her face. "You could have found a way to tell me, Ava. You *found* a way to tell me. Why didn't you trust that I could handle it back then?"

"You're right," she says, hanging her head, shame and guilt etched into every line of her face. "I should have. I was scared, and I made the wrong choice. But Elys, please... can't we try to move past this? We've been friends for so long. Doesn't that count for something?"

I feel tears pricking at my own eyes and blink them back furiously. Because the truth is, deep down, I do want to forgive her. I want my best friend back. But the hurt, the betrayal... it's still so raw.

"I don't know," I say honestly. "I hear what you're saying, A. And maybe... maybe someday we can be friends again. But right now, I just don't know if I can trust you."

Ava nods, wiping at her eyes. "I understand. But I'm not giving up. I'll be here, in the city. And I'll wait, as long as it takes..." her voice trails off, wavering as she shrugs helplessly. "You're worth it." Her words hit me harder than I expected. For a moment, I'm tempted to give in, to hug her and pretend like nothing ever happened. But I know it's not that simple.

"I need time," I say finally. "I can't promise anything, but... I'll think about it."

Almost instantly, her face lights up with hope, and I have to look away. I can't make a decision out of pity. It's not fair to me or to her.

*I should go.*

I stand, grabbing Naomi's stroller.

"I should go," I say. "Cade will be wondering where we are."

Ava nods, standing as well. "Thank you for meeting me. And for listening. It means more than you know."

I manage a small nod before turning and walking away, my emotions a tangled mess inside me.

The drive home is quiet, save for Naomi's occasional coos from the backseat. My mind keeps replaying the conversation with Ava, weighting her words against the hurt I've been carrying. *12 years of friendship... Can I really let that go? Should I?*

I'm so lost in thought that I almost miss the red light. I slam on the brakes, the car lurching to a stop just in time. My heart races, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. *Focus, Elysian. You have precious cargo.*

I glance in the rearview mirror, checking on Naomi. She's fine, oblivious to the near miss, happily playing with her toy.

*What I'd give to be you right now.*

As the light turns green, I ease back onto the gas, determined to pay better attention. But my mind keeps drifting back to Ava, to our friendship, to everything that's happened. *Can I really forgive her? Can we ever get back what we had?*

I'm so caught up in these thoughts that I don't notice the car running the red light until it's too late. There's a screech of tires, a blinding flash of headlights, and then... Impact.

The world spins, metal crunching, glass shattering. I hear Naomi's terrified cry, feel the airbag deploy, knocking the wind out of me. And then, stillness.

For a moment, I can't move, can't think. The only sound is the hiss of steam and the distant wail of sirens. My heart is pounding, adrenaline coursing through my veins. But one thought cuts through the chaos, sharp and urgent: *Naomi.*

I try to turn, to look into the backseat, but a sharp pain shoots through my neck and shoulder. Panic rises in my throat, threatening to choke me.

*Is she hurt? Is she scared? Oh God, what if...*

...

*No. Don't think like that. She's fine. She has to be fine.*

"Naomi?" I call out, my voice weak and shaky. "Baby, are you okay?"

I strain my ears, desperate for any sound from the backseat. The seconds stretch out, feeling like an eternity. And then, I hear it - a whimper, small and frightened, but unmistakably her. Relief floods through me, so intense it almost makes me dizzy.

*She's alive. She's conscious. But is she hurt?*

I try again to turn, to reach back to her, but my body won't cooperate. Frustration and fear war inside me. I'm her mother. I'm supposed to protect her, comfort her. And here I am, helpless.

"It's okay, sweetie," I call out, trying to keep my voice calm and soothing despite the pain and fear. "Mommy's hear. Help is coming. We're going to be okay."

*We are. We're going to be fine. Just fine.*

But as the adrenaline begins to fade, I become aware of other pains-my head throbbing, something warm trickling down my face. But all I can think about is Naomi, alone and scared in her car seat. *Cade... we need you, my love.*

The world starts to fade at the edges, darkness creeping in. I fight against it, terrified of leaving Naomi alone. But it's a losing battle.

My last conscious thought is a prayer, a desperate plea to God:

*Please, let her be okay. Let my baby be okay.*

And then, the darkness comes, swallowing me whole.