Hidden Passion
Chapter 37

"Lillian, I think you should go home and freshen up. You've been here since yesterday and you've not taken anything," Nathaniel's mother suggested as she went to meet her where she was standing by the ward Nathaniel was in and looking at him through the transparent glass on the door.

The doctor had said they could not visit him yet and it would take them a while, until he was more stabilized and responding more to their treatments. So, they could only see him through the door. He had a breathing mask on his nose and Lillian could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

She turned around and looked at his mother who had a swollen face. That made her wonder how bad hers would be. She shook her head at what she said and turned back to look at Nathaniel. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she glanced back to her again.

Nester had gone to work to take care of Nathaniel's business. Linda was gone, too but to God knows where.

"My dear, you should go home and rest. You need to see how your face looks," she tried to make a joke. "You need to rest. You didn't even go to work and I am sure you must be starving."

"You have neither taken your bath nor any meal. You must be starving as well."

His mother smiled. "So, go home. Get some rest and get me some food when you're coming back. I am going to watch over my son here."

Lillian smiled. There was no way she could decline from going. The woman had to eat something. She nodded and hugged her before leaving the hospital.

She gently drove out of the hospital and onto the road to her house. It took her twenty minutes to get to her house. She parked her car in the parking lot, alighted and rushed inside with her bag, her phone and Nathaniel's phone. She was surprised that her phone could still be working after the way it hit the floor the previous day.

She got to the living room and saw her parents and one other person but did not bother taking a glance to see who it was. She only greeted her parents and started rushing up the stairs to her room.

"Lillian?" her mother called her, and she halted on the stairs.

"Mum, is it urgent? I need to freshen up and I've gotten a swollen face," Lillian complained without making any attempt to go back to her mother.

"You have a visitor. Didn't you see her?" Her father asked as he set down the newspaper he was holding.

Lillian became confused. "A visitor? For me?" Her questions were rhetorical, but her mother affirmed it and told her to come back downstairs. She got to the living room and looked at the visitor and then back to her father. "Where is the visitor?"

Her father removed his glasses and stared deeply at her daughter. "You said?"

"I think you should give her your glasses, honey. Her sight might have become poor because of her red eyeballs and swollen face. She must have been crying," her mother added. "Mum, Dad, I don't get the reason you called me back here because she can't possibly be here for me," she uttered, pointing a finger at her so-called visitor.

"So, you do see her, huh?" her mother muttered.

"My dear, you need to let go of the past and-" her father was saying as he sat comfortably.

"And what, dad? Move on? How can I move on with Nathaniel in that state and all of this is happening because of her," she said angrily and then smiled after a rethink. "No. It's actually not your fault. It's all my fault. I don't have anything to discuss with you, Dorcas." With that, she went upstairs to her room and bang the door loud enough for everyone to hear.

Dorcas' eyes became teary as she palmed her face.

"Go to her room and solve things out. She will listen. She's just going through some rough times at the moment. I don't know why she's like this on her birthday. How can we even wish her in that mood?" said Lillian's father. "Thank you, sir," Dorcas said and rushed to her friend's room. She knocked a few times before she opened the door and went inside. She sighted Lillian sitting on her bed, crying. "Lillian, I am very sorry. Please, forgive me."

The look Lillian gave her could knock anyone against the wall. Anyone would be wondering why Dorcas was still standing on her feet. "You're sorry? Or did I hear you incorrectly? You're telling me that you are sorry? What for, darling? That's because, clearly, I don't remember you doing anything wrong that you should be sorry for. It was all my fault."

Dorcas shook her head. "No, Lilly—"

Lillian raised a finger. "Don't. Call. Me. That." That was only meant for Nathaniel and no one else.

"Lillian, it was my fault. I should not have lied to you. It was because I envied you and I am so sorry about that. I really regretted it. I take all the blame. I'm at fault here," Dorcas said in tears.

"Stop trying to take the blame when you didn't do anything wrong. I was the crazy person who believed all your lies about Nathaniel. I was the selfless girl who believed I should allow my best friend to go out with the man I loved just because she said she was in love with him and that he-" she stressed the last word, "that he was also in love with her. I was the stupid one who foolishly thought that acting rude to the man I have been in love with my whole life would make me forget him, so that I would not get in the way of his existing relationship with my best friend."

Dorcas cried and walked closer to her. "Lillian."

"Can't you see that you are not at fault here? You know what? I don't actually care if you envy me or not. You're a human. We're humans. That was bound to happen at one point or the other in someone's life, but not with Nathaniel. And I don't blame you, it is all my fault. All of this is my fault."

"Why are you being like this? Please, stop making me feel worse. I know I am to be blamed. I have never for once been a good friend to you. I have been a terrible friend. And I am so sorry for everything. I am willing to do anything for you to forgive me, please."

Lillian rose up from her bed and walked towards her, wiping her tears. "You don't need to do anything."

"Ple-" Her words were hindered by a warm hug from Lillian. She immediately wrapped her hands around her and cried.

"I missed you, Dorc," she confessed. To say that she didn't would be a lie.

"I missed you, too. And happy birthday. You forgot your birthday again." She forgot her birthdays almost every year. Lillian smiled. "I have completely forgotten. Thank you so much. My parents would have wanted to wish me—" "Yeah. I actually forgot about it, too. They talked about it a while ago," she asked, and Lillian shook her head. "Not with Nathaniel on that sick bed, fighting for his life," she cried.

Some minutes later, they were both on her bed, drying each other's tears. "What happened to Nathaniel?" Dorcas asked.

Lillian sighed and started explaining everything to her. She watched as her friend's mouth opened and closed in the process. She told her everything, from the first day she met Nathaniel, to the inscription on her arm, down to his surgery and how the doctor said he had died.

"I can't help but blame myself for all of these," Lillian ended, but her friend held her hands and caressed them.

"None of these is your fault, sweetheart. And you don't have to worry about Nester, she won't do anything to you," Dorcas assured.

"But I am scared, Dorcas. I am afraid of that woman. She's so desperate and I am sure she won't hesitate to get me out of her way," Lillian said, looking into Dorcas' eyes.

"I can't believe you're this afraid after daring her to kill you herself."

Lillian frowned. "My mouth seems to say more than I can handle," she said, and they burst into laughter.