Inked Adonis (Litvinov Bratva Book 1)
Inked Adonis: Chapter 38

“Who is it?”

The sound of her voice, even muffled through her thin, wooden door, reminds me why I came here. Why I’m already in too deep to get out cleanly.

God help me, I want her.

“It’s Rufus and Ruby,” I answer.

The dogs shift excitedly, their wagging tails a blur. Ruby has never been here before, but Rufus recognizes this place. He’s already sniffing along the crack of the door.

For a few beats, I think I’m going to have to break through it. Not that it would be much of a hurdle. There isn’t even a deadbolt. Just shoddy, composite wood between me and her.

Or, worse to think of, between her and Ilya. Or her and Katerina. Or her and any of the thousand and one nameless fucks who would be willing to hurt Nova if it meant hurting me in the process.

Then the lock turns and Nova peeks through the narrow gap. Her eyes don’t quite reach my face before she looks down at the dogs.

“Weird, Ru—you sound exactly like an asshole I used to know.”

Rufus takes that as his invitation to wedge his meaty head through the crack, forcing the door open another foot. Ruby wriggles in after him, the floor vibrating with every step.

And then there’s Nova.

She’s barefoot in the doorway, wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants. Her hair is wet from a shower, and she’s a little paler than usual. Fuck me; she has never looked more beautiful. At the sight of her, thin and fragile and afraid, I want to burn the world down just to prove to her that nothing will ever hurt her.

Not even me.

“You didn’t buzz in,” she accuses.

“One of your neighbors held the door open for me.”

Her lips flatten. “I need to do something about the lax security around here.”

“It’s an epidemic all over town.”

Her honey-brown eyes flash up to mine. She’s searching my face for something—more accusations, maybe? Another rush of anger that will send her recoiling into the corner? Some sign of remorse?

On that front, I’m as lost as she is.

I don’t know what’s coming next, either. Truth be told, I haven’t known for a long time.

She’s dragged me into deeper waters than I ever knew existed.

Whatever she finds there, she steps aside with a sigh. “I just made a fresh pot of coffee if you want some.”

I don’t need more caffeine. My body has been humming all morning with an energy I can’t seem to exorcize. Now that Nova is in front of me, though, I have some ideas.

Fuck her against the door while the neighbors listen in.

Drag her to the floor and feast on her, couches and beds be damned.

Kiss her here. Kiss her there. Stroke the hair from her face and tell her what she’s come to mean to me.

And if she screams, if I roar, who would give a shit? Not I.

I want everyone in this building to know this woman belongs to me.

The last time we were here together, we were covered in sand and lake water, and we couldn’t get our clothes off fast enough. The memory cranks the hum under my skin to a dull bellow, but I force it down as I follow her into her apartment.

A collection of half-full, mismatched water glasses looms on the kitchen island. I tap the side of one, sending a tinkle through the whole assembly. “Did you have people over?”

“Not a soul.”

I never agreed to the coffee, but she hands me a steaming mug anyway. It has a picture of a schnauzer on the side with the words “I Woof You” printed underneath.

I wonder if it’s a sign until she taps her chin and continues, “Not unless you count your childhood bullies, all of your ex-girlfriends, and that delivery guy who cut you off in traffic last week.”

She takes a drink from her own mug—a line drawing of a golden retriever flipping both middle fingers with the words “Fetch This” underneath.

That one must be a sign.

But she’s making a joke. That’s one point for me not having to kidnap her to get her back in my house.

“A real anti-Samuil crowd,” I muse, taking a seat on the sofa. “Did Myles crash the party? He’s been leaning that way recently.”

Suddenly, she places her mug on the coffee table and crosses her arms. “Are you here to chit-chat, to bring me the dogs, or something else? If it’s the first one, I’m good. If it’s the second, fine—I guess you technically still pay for me to walk Rufus. If it’s the third, don’t bother. I told Myles I needed space. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“There’s more than enough space at the penthouse.” I cast a pointed look around the cramped room. Rufus and Ruby are fighting over a pink bean bag in the corner. “More space than you have here.”

“You know damn well that’s not what I meant, Sam.”

“How could I know what you mean if you won’t even look me in the eye?” I fire back.

She turns away, her jaw working from side to side. “I apologized about the phone.”

“And then you fled under the cover of nightfall. If you’re trying to look innocent⁠—”

“I’m not trying to ‘look’ anything. I am innocent. I didn’t do anything—” She blows out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”

I can feel every spring of this couch digging into my spine, like a reminder of the thousand things that have gotten fucked up between us. Let her off the hook, you idiot, they seem to be screaming at me. You know she wouldn’t betray you.

But the words come out of my mouth all wrong. “Right, right. I guess you thought Katerina wanted to be best fucking friends. The two of you were going to stay up late talking on the phone, gossiping and sharing notes about the man you’ve both slept with.”

A humiliated blush rises in her cheeks. I pinch the bridge of my nose and exhale.

Idiot.

“I came here to bring you back,” I grit out under my breath. “I was going to be calm.”

Calm. That’s a fucking joke. I haven’t been “calm” around Nova since the moment we met. It was all or nothing from the very start.

She huffs out a laugh. “That would be a first.”

“You put my Bratva—not to mention yourself—in danger,” I snarl at her. “I should still be furious. I have every right to be. If I wasn’t, my enemies would’ve killed me a long time ago.”

The look on her face is another sign Myles was right: Nova has no fucking clue what kind of mess she’s walked into.

I thought kidnapping her and holding her captive for two weeks would’ve been enough of a peek at the dark underbelly I was born into, but apparently not.

“But Katerina isn’t… She’s your ex-wife.” Nova’s forehead creases as she tries to make sense of it all. “You don’t like her, but she’s not your enemy. She wouldn’t actually hurt you.”

I wish I could tell Nova she’s right. I want to nod and tell her the world is as safe as she thinks it is. Ex-wives are annoying, but they don’t fraternize with rival crime rings to destroy everything you’ve built. Brothers are messy, but it doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, waiting for the next attack.

Wrong.

So, so fucking wrong.

“There’s a lot I can’t tell you, but what I will say is this: do not underestimate Katerina Alekseeva. I did once before, and…” I shrug. “You can see how that turned out.”

Nova lowers herself down onto the cushion next to me. “I knew I should’ve told you about the phone. I wanted to, but… the things she said… about you and your family…”

“I can only imagine. Katerina is familiar with a lot of my family’s skeletons.”

As she should be. She put more than a few of them there herself.

She peeks up at me. Just once. Just for a moment. Then her eyes fall back to her hands twisting in her lap. “She said you were together for a long time. She also said your marriage failed because you were controlling and possessive and cruel.”

“Kat brings out that side in people.”

She frowns. “Did you really hit her?”

Nova’s face yesterday flashes in my mind. The terror as she looked up at me. The frightened tears brimming in her eyelashes.

I shake my head. “Of course not. Never. But… But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wanted to. Fuck, she—” I fist my hand on the arm of the sofa. “Katerina knew how to get under my skin. I’m not the same man I was when we were married, thank God. When I left, I swore to never be in a relationship like that again. I didn’t think I’d ever want another relationship, but, well⁠—”

Here you are.

Here I am.

I bite back a laugh. I say all this shit like it’s just now occurring to me. Like I haven’t been fucking obsessing over Nova Pierce since the moment I came home and found her gone.

Nova looks down at her lap. Her hands wring together again and again, as if she’s trying to wash them of me but just can’t manage to do it. “You scared me, Sam. Last night, you were… you were a monster.”

I wince as the word falls from her lips. Monster. Is that what I am? What I’ve turned into?

I’ve always sworn I wouldn’t become my father—wouldn’t use fear to control the people I claimed to care about. But here I am, one step away from becoming exactly the same as the nightmare that haunted my childhood memories.

“I know what it’s like to live in fear of someone who’s supposed to protect you,” I admit. “I never wanted to be that person for you. I don’t waste my time with regrets, but I regret how I questioned you. I shouldn’t have—” I blow out a breath. Regrets and apologies: two things I do my best to avoid. “The house isn’t the same without you.”

“I can’t just come back, Sam.”

“Of course you can.” I lay a hand on her knee, desperate to let my fingers follow the warmth up her thigh. “You belong there. With me. With the dogs.”

As if Rufus can sense the precarious point we’re balancing on, he lets out a pitiful little howl from the corner. For the first time since I walked into the penthouse yesterday afternoon, Nova’s mouth turns up into the smallest of smiles.

“Bringing the dogs wasn’t playing fair.”

I take the opening. In one move, I spread her knees and slide myself between her legs. We meld together, head against heat, want against want.

“I want you back in my house—” I stroke a hand along her back, arching her into me. “—and in my bed.”

She blinks at me, her eyes staining dark. “This isn’t fair, either.”

“I told you already: I don’t fight fair.” Our lips whisper together. “Especially when it comes to getting what I want.”

“And you want me?” she breathes like she still can’t believe it.

I growl against her mouth, the truth stampeding like a dangerous, wild thing in my chest. “Desperately. All of you.”

Nova’s chin lifts. “I need to know you see me as a partner, not a possession. I won’t—can’t—live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop every time something goes wrong.”

She’s right. Fuck me, but she’s right. I’ve been so focused on protecting her, I’ve forgotten to respect her.

But I can. I will. I have to.

Words won’t be enough this time, though. Words are what got us here—they can’t save us.

So as much as I want to say all those things to her and have that heal the gaping wounds between us, it’ll take more than a few sweet sentences.

So I look at her, and I say with my eyes and my chest and my whole fucking heart all the things that words can’t capture.

I’m waiting to hear her say it back.

Yes, Sam. I’ll come back, Sam. I love you, Sam.

She does me one better.

She rises up and presses her lips to mine.

We stumble down the hall to her bedroom, bouncing off the walls and crashing against her door. Between kissing my way down her neck and shucking her sweatpants down her thighs, I manage to turn the knob.

We spill through the door. It’s a tight squeeze, so there isn’t far to go. Her bed looms over her shoulder, beckoning us into it.

But before we get there, she presses a hand to my chest, halting my advance. “Promise me something.” Her eyes search mine, vulnerable but determined. “Next time you’re scared for me, talk to me first. Before the anger. Before the accusations.”

I cover her hand with mine. Her heartbeat thuds in time with my own. “I promise. But you have to promise, too—no more secrets. Even the ones you think will protect me.”

A ghost of a smile touches her lips. “Deal.”

It’s the first promise I’ve made in years that feels more like freedom than chains.

From there, it’s like tumbling down a hill. Gravity pulls us together, pulls our clothes loose. I part her thighs, and we slide together with a collective moan.

I dig my hands under her tank top, tugging it up and over her head while she unbuttons my pants. Her hand reaches into my boxers.

“Fuck.” I drop my forehead to hers as I thicken to the stroke of her fingers. “I’m not even inside you, and I couldn’t give this up.”

“I didn’t want to leave—not really,” she murmurs. I drag a hand between her legs, and she whimpers. She’s hot everywhere, silky smooth. “I just hated the way you looked at me.”

I grip her chin and force her eyes to mine as I thrust into her hand, as she clenches around the stroke of my finger. “What about now? Do you like the way I’m looking at you now?”

The way her pupils are steadily chipping away at the brown in her eyes is enough of an answer, but I want to hear her say it.

I skim the pad of my thumb over her pouty lower lip. “Talk to me, Nova.”

“It’s hard when you’re doing—” She gasps, bearing down on me again when I press a second finger inside her. “How am I supposed to think straight when you’re doing that?”

Her hand tightens around me, her movements growing clumsy as she gets closer and closer to her breaking point. I circle my thumb over her center, and she cries out. “Yes, I like it. I like—all of it. Do more of that.”

I curl my fingers into her and watch the shifting of her expression. The awe and relief and desperate need for more.

Nova is an open book when I’m touching her.

This is the kind of interrogation I should’ve done from the start. The second I walked through the door yesterday, I should’ve carried her to our bed. I could’ve stripped her of the truth in a matter of minutes.

There’s no hiding when I have her like this.

She can’t hide from me.

Worse… I can’t hide from her.

But there’s no turning back when I have her like this, either. She arches off the bed with a gasp, and I feel her pull me in deeper. Her hand fists in the material of my shirt as she comes.

I stroke her into a puddle on the mattress.

She’s panting, her chest heaving to catch her breath. It takes me a second to realize she’s crying. Her cheeks are wet.

“Nova—”

“I’m sorry,” she gasps. “I was st-stupid to listen to her. I should’ve c-come to you.”

I brush her hair away from her face. “I want to protect you. I need to. So let me.”

“If I’d known, I never would’ve— I wouldn’t have—” She hiccups, her wet lashes fluttering as she looks up at me. “Do you believe me, Sam?”

I look into her glassy eyes, and I would give her anything right now. My body, my trust, my last name, my baby.

I spread her legs and push into her with a growl, imagining my ring on her finger. I never thought I’d want to get married again, but it was because I’ve never met someone I wanted to claim. Not like this.

I stretch her arms over her head, driving into her in deep, hard strokes. “I believe you.”

She bucks into my hold, and I taste her chest. I coax her nipples into hard points with my tongue. I savor every inch of skin I can reach.

“You have to trust me.” I hook her leg over my hip to deepen our connection. “I need to know everything, Nova.”

Who she talks to.

Where she goes.

What makes her desperate for me.

How to touch her so she screams only my name.

“Everything,” she agrees in a gasp.

She lifts her hips to meet me, and we crash together again and again.

Nova falls first, tightening around me in rhythmic pulses that turn the edges of my vision black. Scarcely seconds later, I spill into her with a roar.

And for the first time in two days, I’m not thinking about security or threats.

I’m not thinking about revenge or my father or my brother.

I’m sure as fuck not thinking about Kat.

There’s one thought and one thought only in my head.

If all I had was this… I’d be happy.