Just One of the Guys
Eighteen

Corbin

It's been a few days since Knox dropped the dead sister bomb on me and I'm once again back in the library, trying to keep my mind off of him or what he must have gone through at finding her, attempting to study for yet again, another physics exam.

*Why?*

*Where in life is physics going to apply?*

*I want to be a nurse, does one really need to know physics to be a nurse?*

*Chemistry, okay, I guess I get that.*

*But blasted physics?*

*Uh, just shoot me now.*

**Knox: Hey, babe.**

**Knox: I can't stop thinking about you, or the other night.**

**Knox: It was really good to get to spend that time with you, even if we were interrupted by Colt.**

**Knox: I'd like to see you again. Soon.**

**Averi: I haven't been able to think about much else either.**

**Knox: What are you doing right now?**

**Averi: I'm in the library studying.**

**Knox: Can you go somewhere else a little more private? Damn, I just want to hear the sound of your voice.**

**Knox: Do you even know what kind of effect you're having on me, woman?**

I giggle, knowing exactly what kind of effect he's talking about because he's having the same kind of effect on me. He makes me want things that I hadn't thought I could have since coming here, feel things I shouldn't be feeling, and wanting to do things that I definitely shouldn't be doing.

**Averi: I have a pretty good idea.**

**Knox: Let me know when I'm good to call you.**

Quickly gathering my stuff up from the table and shoving it in my bag, I rush out the door.

"Mr. McEvoy, no running!" the elderly librarian scolds.

I swear I'm going to make her hate me for how much she has to call me out on running out of the library.

Speed walking through the halls, bobbing and weaving around students, I finally make it to the dorms. Glancing around as I put the key in the lock, I watch as Knox steps into his own apartment, quickly shutting the door behind him. As I step into my own apartment and shut the door, my cheeks flush and freakin A, just the sight of him has turned me into a hot mess.

*I am so screwed.*

**Averi: Okay. I'm in my apartment.**

My phone immediately rings, and butterflies take flight in my stomach as I glance at the screen where it shows that it's Knox calling.

I answer the call.

"Knox?" His name comes out much breathier than I had meant for it to those dang butterflies causing a riot inside my stomach.

"Dear God, babe," he groans, the sound causing heat to spread throughout my body, but unlike the last time, this time it's definitely not from embarrassment.

"Damn, I wish you were here right now. I've managed to find myself in a really hard situation that I need some help taking care of."

I choke on the water I'd just put in my mouth, and was in the process of swallowing, not at all expecting him to say anything like that. However, the thought of him being just a few doors away, long, hard, and ready to go, also has me fighting off the intense urge to say screw this video chat and end both of our misery. Yet, another part of me finds it hilarious as I picture him walking around, his cock bobbing around like an elephant trunk as he wanders around his room. I hadn't seen him the last two mornings; yesterday, I was running late and missed breakfast: a byproduct of not being able to sleep because my mind wouldn't shut off and had kept replaying our night over and over again-only things had become much more heated as they had kept replaying in my head-and this morning, well, I wasn't ready to get out of bed, and may have shut my alarm off, wanting to return to the dream I'd been having about Knox. Now, unable to hold it in any longer, I start to laugh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh," I finally get out, but end up laughing that much harder.

"It's cool, make fun of me for what happens when I'm thinking about you. Not like I have any control over it," he complains.

I know he's teasing, but he's right, I shouldn't be laughing. The knowledge of the kind of effect that I have on him actually causes the burn low in my belly to become an inferno.

After a few seconds, he continues, "I blame you, it's your fault that I get worked up over you."

"It's my fault? How is that fair?" I inquire, giggling as I ask the question. Obviously he can't control the way his body responds any more than I can.

"Don't worry, you've had an effect on me too," I tell him in reassurance, but then continue messing with him by saying, "I'm just able to hide it much better."

He gives an exaggerated sigh and shakes his head. "Dang it, woman. I don't know that my ego can take all this negativity."

That gets a snorting laugh out of me, which causes him to start chuckling too.

"Your ego, huh? I thought we were talking about something else needing deflating," I say, smirking.

That causes him to howl with laughter, making me die in a fit of laughter as well.

"I'm glad things are so easy between us," he mutters, once we've both managed to calm down, turning the conversation more serious than the moments before. "You seem to have captivated me, Averi." "How's that?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.

"You're basically all I can think about," he says, chuckling. "All day, every day you've taken over my mind. You're my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. You've even infiltrated my dreams." He's silent for a few seconds, then quietly asks, "What is it about you?" almost as if he was asking himself that question instead of me.

"You're always on my mind too. If it makes you feel any better." Afterward, I fall silent for a moment myself, trying to decide if I really want to say the words that are at the tip of my tongue. Finally, I decide to just put it out there, "I don't understand exactly what this is, it's unlike anything I've experienced before."

"I've never felt like this either, just so you're aware," Knox says, reassuringly, "you're so much more than anyone else that I've ever had in my life up to this point."

I know exactly what he means because I feel the same way.

"Doesn't it seem like these feelings are rather strong for us not having spent much actual time together?" I ask, but hurry to add, "I don't mean to question it. It's just that when something seems too good to be true..."

"It usually is," he finishes for me. "I've thought the same thing."

I think about how it felt good to be in his arms, to have his weight on top of me as we were kissing-how the feeling of his excitement lit a fire within my own body-wanting more, but knowing we shouldn't. "Averi..." he groans and the way my name slips from his mouth, entwined with passion and that sexy as hell accent, sends heat racing through my body all over again. *My God.*

"I would like to see where things take us if that's okay with you. We can take things slow, although it seems like we both have difficulties with doing that, but we can try," he says, full of determination. "I'm willing to try if you are? To see where this may lead?"

I think about everything that's led up to this point, and by doing so, I am very strongly reminded of the whole reason why I'm here in the first place and the danger that I'm putting Knox in if I were to keep something going with him. *Shit! I feel like the flakiest person in the whole freaking universe! I know that it's because my heart wants one thing, but my head knows that I need to do another. That it's what is best, safest for the both of us.*

"Averi?" Knox asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, umm... I know how we both feel but...can I get back to you on that?" I question.

I know that's a really awkward thing to ask after all that we've just confessed to one another, but I hadn't been thinking of the danger he could be in. I was just thinking about what my heart wants, and how happy he's made me. "Is everything okay?" he asks, suddenly sounding concerned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Oh God, no. It's not you i-it's me. I promise," I rush to say, trying to figure out how to explain this without saying anything at all, “I—"

"You're giving me the,* it's not you it's me* spiel? Really, Averi? Seriously?"

He's angry, and as much as I don't like him being angry, maybe he needs to be! Use it and turn it to hate if he needs to. He just needs to forget that Averi ever existed and move on.

"Baby, what's going on? What did I do or say that changed things so fast for you? I thought we were on the same page," he says, hurt lacing his every word. I hate knowing that I'm the reason that it's there, but I really don't want to put him in danger.

*I'm doing this for you because I care. I wish you could see that I'm trying to protect you.* Not that I can tell him any of that, it would drag him deeper into this shit and paint an even bigger target on his back.

"It's not a line..." I say as tears of frustration build within my eyes, then fall down my cheeks as I become overwhelmed as I try to figure out a way to make him understand that, no matter what either of us wants, it can't be.

I want more than anything to be with him but we're not something that should have ever been in the first place. "I just...I'm trying to protect you," I sob, barely able to get my next words out, "I'm so sorry...I can't do this..." I rush the words out, not giving them a chance to get stuck in my throat. As soon as they've left my mouth, I hang up, cutting off any response he may have had.

My phone immediately begins vibrating from him calling me back.

*I know this is for the best, but damn, doing the right thing hurts.*

*I should have never let things get this far, and that's on me.*

*And now I have to go to the cafeteria and face him, knowing that I just destroyed whatever chance I may have had at happiness.*

*You can do this. You just gotta keep your game face on, Averi. *

*No matter what.*