Just One of the Guys
Thirty One

Knox

By the time I pull up at the school and run through the building to my fifth-period class, I'm ten minutes late. Professor Wright glances at me when I enter the classroom, heading straight for my desk but doesn't comment on my being late. "Dude, bout time you got here," Gentry whisper-shouts from the desk next to mine. "Get everything straightened out?"

*Does bloody everybody know that something went down between Averi and me?*

Giving a subtle shake of my head, I turn to the page indicated on the board and get to reading about the ultrastructure and function of a cell, or at least try to. I end up reading the same sentence over five times before I give up and just stare at the page, not even trying anymore.

My head just isn't in it today.

My cell vibrates in my pocket and my stomach clenches at the thought of it being Averi as the same series of questions continue to run through my head on a constant loop. *Where is she?*

*Who is she really?*

*Was she ever actually honest with me, about anything?*

*Was this some type of game for her?*

*Although she accused me of it, was I really some kind of conquest for her, and after fucking me, her itch satisfied, she just went back to wherever it is that she crawled out from?* Growling in frustration, I slip my phone from my jean pocket, hiding it beneath my desk as I check the message.

**19158082315: Party tonight at Old Cramer's Creek. Win or lose, come out, get drunk, forget about any and all worries for the rest of the night, and get fucked up!**

It's from the same number as the rest of the messages that I've gotten of parties happening about the area. I have no clue who they are, but their parties never disappoint. Maybe a night to get pissed and letting it all go is exactly what I need.

Maybe be that guy that she accused me of being, she already thinks I just wanted her to shag and then move on.

Maybe I should do just that, find some other chick to sink my dick into for the night. She already thinks the worst of me, so what should it matter?

As much as I'd like to think that I could just find another chick to fuck like old times, I can't. And honestly, I don't want to. They wouldn't be her, and she's all that I want, crave. Not a single chick has even registered on my radar since meeting her: because there is no one else. I knew it the moment that I saw her, I felt it and just knew.

It feels like it's taken *forever* for the end of class bell to ring. When it finally does, I bolt from my seat, and on to my next class, not in the mood for idle chit-chat with my peers.

**Knox: Party tonight after the game at Old Cramer's Creek, anyone who needs a ride, let me know. I'm ready to destroy those Berkshire bastards and then get pissed! Who's with me?**

I send the message out in the group text that I have set up for just my friends.

**Gentry: I'm there!**

**Cameron: Let's get fucked!**

**Colt: You know I'm down.**

**Wesley: Hell yeah!**

With plans set for the night to pissed, I take a deep breath, determined that it's time to get my head on straight and focus.

With a plan set to let go and get pissed with my mates for the night, I head towards my blow-off creative writing class. Corbin walks in behind me and we make our way to our desks.

Professor Roderick hasn't made it to class yet, but she's written a prompt on the board for us to write about; "My heart aches as despair eats away at the only hope that I had left. Staring out into the foothills of the Berkshire Mountains..."

Leaning forward, I tap Corbin on the shoulder to get his attention. "Hey, you got a piece of paper and a pencil I could borrow? I was running late and forgot to grab my stuff from my place before coming to class." Pulling a few sheets from his binder, and then digging a mechanical pencil from one of the front pockets on his backpack, he turns around handing them to me.

"Here."

Taking the papers from him, I write my name at the top, and then write down the prompt, trying to figure out what direction I want to take the paper in when Corbin clears his throat, "I know it's none of my business, but is everything okay? The guys were worried about you at lunch."

"Just some bloody girl problems," I say with a shrug, irritated at the whole bloody situation. "Nothing that getting completely pissed won't fix. You going to the party after the game tonight?"

"Maybe? I know I could blow off some steam and get shit-faced myself."

He watches me for a moment, I can see the wheels turning inside of his head, but I have no clue what's going on in there.

"Do you want to talk about the girl?"

At the mention of her, she invades my thoughts once again.

*I managed a whole 30 seconds without thinking about it.*

*It's a new record.*

*I honestly just don't get it though.*

*Why would she lie and say that she's from Berkshire if she wasn't?*

*I hadn't even known her before that party, it just makes no sense.*

I can't seem to wrap my head around it, no matter how I look at it. What's sad is that even with knowing that she lied to me, she's still all that my mind goes to. I pull up the picture that she sent me, frustration, confusion, and a sense of loss causing a riot of my emotions.

"Why would someone say they're someone that they're not?" I mutter before realizing that Corbin's already turned around in his desk, facing the front of the class, Professor Roderick at her desk, likely taking roll.

After a few minutes, Corbin leans back instead of turning around, passing me a folded piece of paper.

*What do you mean?* he questions.

*This girl, Averi, that I've been seeing, we had a fight last night and she took off. I haven't been able to reach her since. I even went to Berkshire Prep, where she said she went to school to try to find her. I wanted to try to work things out. But no one even knew who she was, they'd never seen her before. I just don't understand why she would lie about where she's from. I feel like she doesn't trust me, I think that's what bothers me the most*, I reply.

Folding the note back up, I slip it into the back of his blazer at the collar, trying to be discreet about our note passing.

After pretending to scratch his neck, he grabs it, unfolding and reading what I wrote, then begins writing something back.

It takes him a bit longer to pass the note back this time, likely pretending to be writing his paper. After a bit, he reaches down beneath my desk. Grabbing it from him, I read over what he wrote.

*Maybe there's a reason that she had to lie, it could be a situation that she isn't able to talk about. All I'm saying is give her the benefit of the doubt, before writing her off. You never know what someone is going through beneath the façade that they allow the world around them to see.*

*As for the falling out, give her time. Depending on what her reason is for lying about where she's from, maybe it's all tied together. Could be that she wasn't supposed to get close to anyone, and when she found someone that made her want to get close, she panicked. Just, hear her out before deciding that she isn't worth it. Just the other day, didn't you say that she was different, someone that you wanted to be better for? And, didn't you say that you didn't want her to be a, once was, like the others? So, don't make her one.*

*Thanks, mate*, I quickly write out before continuing, *I guess everyone needs to be able to see things from someone else's perspective sometimes. I really appreciate you talking through this with me. And you're right, I did say those things, and I meant every single word of it. She is different; she makes me want to be a better person. If she needs time to figure things out, I'll give it to her. I'm not going anywhere, and I've got nothing but time. I don't know why, but I know in my gut that she's worth it all.*

I slip the note back to him, check the time, and then get to work on the paper that I've been supposed to be writing. I've got half an hour left and then, I've got a message to send to a girl who needs to know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.

Regardless of what she throws my way, no matter how much time she needs, she needs to know that I'll still be here.

*My heart aches as despair eats away at the only hope that I had left. Staring out into the foothills of the Berkshire Mountains, I resolve myself of past discrepancies and vow that I will never again be the cause of someone else's brokenness. It's time for me to start anew, at least starting over metaphorically. Like a phoenix, I will rise from the ashes of my former life, as a new man...*

Once class is out, Corbin passes me a folded-up piece of paper. "You keep it, as a reminder whenever you may need it."

With that, he walks out of the class, on to whatever he has going on before the game tonight.