Love and Chaos Series
His Forbidden Mate Chapter 43

I stayed silent, wanting him to continue, and he did.

"Over a year ago, my brother sent me to the north with a message for Alpha Koz, the alpha of truth and knowledge, and on my way back from the North, I saw you. It had been five years since my encounter with you then and a lot had changed since then in my life, yet I recognized you and I felt something I never felt in a long while."

I remember visiting the north because I received word about a child I had searched for a few years earlier. She was being held as a prisoner and I negotiated a release. I could not help her because she was sold to the slave traders before my arrival. I returned to Lurds sad, knowing what awaited her. I didn't know Edward had seen me then.

"There I made it my mission to find you and when I did, I knew I had to have you. My whole being yearned for you despite my better judgement. You felt real and gave peace to my never-ending chaotic mind and silenced the voice in my head. No one had ever done that."

"Yet you brought me chaos," I accused him, remembering how he came into my life months ago.

He pressed his lips together. "I didn't know how to deal with the way I felt. I'm still learning." "And Lady Shewa, where does she fall in all of this?"

He sighed, "She's a noble-born and I am a royal born. My father wanted us to unite in marriage and form a stronger bond that would align the two houses and strengthen the crown in the upcoming war. Brother saw the war two years ago and now father sees it too and he believes my marriage to lady Shewa of the house black would help unite both families.

I couldn't go with the plans he had set for me. He said Shewa of house black would be a perfect mate because her father and his men would be a great addition to the royal strength. We needed allies, powerful allies. Taking Shewa as a mate would give me that." Hearing him explain made me understand it wasn't as simple as I thought it was. He was in a difficult position, having to choose between himself and his responsibilities. I thought he had a choice in this matter, but realising that he was just as helpless made my heart go out to him.

I got out of bed and rose to my feet. "Then why are you here?"

His head dropped. "Because I cannot do it. I cannot imagine a life where you're not a part of."

"That would mean choosing yourself over what's best for the kingdom."

"No, I'm choosing you instead. I know I'll never be happy with anyone else. I'd be miserable." he leaned closer and stroked his hand over my face. "I can't get over the things you do to me, the things you let me do to you. No one had ever completed me the way you have, and no one will. It scares me. It all happened so soon.."

I shivered into his touch and I moaned out, "Edward."

"Yes, I know royals were not mated to just anyone. My brother's mate fell amongst the nobles in the land and so should mine. However, you made me rethink everything, I'd been thinking to believe, everything I once held as true. It was enough to want to cling to you for as long as you let me. I wanted the solace you bring, despite who you are."

"So I told my father I couldn't marry Shewa because she couldn't give me what I needed the most. She couldn't quiet the voices in my head driving me insane and pushing me to the point of no return. The moon goddess wouldn't be so cruel to join me with someone who wouldn't lessen my burden."

My heart was hammering loudly against my chest, and I knew he heard it too. Edward had opened up to me a few times about himself in the past, but I never thought he'd ever be this vulnerable and open to me.

"I don't think your father would like to hear that." I met the alpha of alphas and he didn't seem like the type that would like his decision disputed, which was what his son had done.

"He didn't, but I don't care. He says I took my brother's rebellion, and he has no idea just how much."

"Your decision would be seen as a selfish one, don't you think?"

He smiled, "Yes, to those who don't understand, it is, but not to me. I love you and you're my mate, Kailani Zaine, the woman I want to spend eternity with."

A tear rolled down my eyes. "I love you too, prince Edward Ainsworth, and I want to spend my eternity with you as well."

He grinned and leaned in, taking my lips between his, and I didn't even think to stop him. I kissed back with equal fierceness and the need to be held by him, loved and wanted.

"I've missed you." he moaned, slipping down the hand of my dress. His lips caught my shoulder blade up my neck, and it made me tingle in response and cling to him.

"I missed you too." I breathed, my eyes fluttering as we pulled apart.

"Command me, mistress," he said, and my eyes narrowed as I stared at him for a while.

Edward had never given up control of himself since we have been together. I got used to never being in control with him, and so this came as a surprise to me. He wanted to obey me, to not be in control. He wanted to feel vulnerable with me. That felt empowering more than anything else in the world.