One More Chance
Chapter 46: The adorable Cali

~~~'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. I'll close my eyes, then I won't see the love you don't feel when you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right. Just give me till then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight. 'Cause I can't make you love

me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't~~~

-Bonnie Raitt-

-'Yes, Mom... you're absolutely right, but none of them can cover the appointment he has for his mistress.'-

Those words were in the tip of my tongue and were merely slipped to spill the beans, but I stopped myself. This isn't the right time, besides, I still have to talk to him about it.

"Anyway, I'm so glad that you guys finally get along with each other. I heard that you went to a family vacation and he bought a private resort for you and Cali."

"Yes, mom, it was so much fun. We really enjoyed the vacation and e were actually surprised that he really bought such a private resort for us." I said, having the widest smile I could muster.

But the time I glanced at my best friend, I didn't miss the way she rolled my eyes.

"Oh, that's so sweet of him."

We continued chatting about the vacation while I was helping them scattered the mini lanterns all over the place.

We all have dinner together in our house and they said goodbye after a few minutes.

When it's our time to sleep, I tried to call him again. But I guess they were still enjoying the last night of his 'fake Asian business meeting'. I'm not sure if he can really come tomorrow, but I'm praying he can... just for his daughter.

I don't what time I fell asleep because my mind couldn't stop thinking about what happened yesterday at the hotel... until it repeats and reappears in my dream.

"Huh!"

I gasped, jolting in bed. My face was full of tears when I wake up and I started crying again.

Bringing my knees to my chest, I hugged them and I let myself be drowned in the pain and agony that slowly devour me at the moment. Loud sobs wanted to escape my throat, but I really tried to prevent them, so I couldn't disturb my daughter.

But I forgot that she can easily be awakened just by a little noise around her, so I covered my mouth with my two hands when she stirred in her sleep.

But guess what, I was shocked to see her watching me cry. I hadn't even noticed that she had already got up and was looking at me in silence.

"Hey... why did you get up? It's still dark outside." I immediately dried my tears and asked her... even though it's too late as she already saw me sobbing hardly.

And to say that I was shocked was an understatement when she wiped my face with her little hands and hugged my neck.

I bit my bottom lip hard to keep myself from bursting into more tears when she started to talk.

"Shh... mommy, I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you."

"B-Baby..." My voice came out hoarse. Maybe she was thinking about what I told her this afternoon.

"It's alright if daddy can't come to my party tomorrow, I just don't want to see you cry, mommy." She said, wiping my stubborn tears.

I breathed loudly and couldn't help pulling her into a hug. I brought her to my chest and kissed her head repeatedly. It breaks me more to hear those words from her. How I wish I could protect her from all the pain and harm that this harsh world can give. "I love you, mommy, please stop crying. I know you're my super mom and I promise not to ask for him again."

She's smart and even at a young age, she knows how to use the right words to stop me from crying... but little did she know, it breaks me more that I could hardly breathe just by seeing her innocent eyes, blinking brightly with unshed tears.

I tried to swallow my whimper so that it wouldn't prevent me from speaking.

"Who said I'm crying because your daddy couldn't come?" I asked, having a forced smile between my lips.

"Then why were you crying?" She broke from my arms and looked at me.

"Mommy's crying because it's your 4th birthday tomorrow, that means you're no longer a baby. And when you grow up, I'm sure you're going to leave mommy here to fulfil your dreams and by that time, I have no b-baby..." I stopped as I had to stop my lips from quivering. I don't know, but the alibi I thought, made me cry even more.

"Mommy... I won't leave you, I promise you. Even if I grow up and have a boyfriend and... and... married him, I still won't leave you."

I was suddenly blown away.

-'Jesus Christ! Where did she get that?'-

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yup!" She nodded. "I promise." She said showing her little finger for a pinky promise.

I sighed, wiping my tears and then cupped her chubby little face.

"Can you not grow up so fast, baby?"

This time she smiled at me and then shook her head.

"No, mommy, I won't grow that fast."

"Promise me, you will still my baby?"

"Uhuh, but can I make Red my boyfriend someday?"

"What?" My tears suddenly stopped by her question. "And who is this Red?"

She giggled. "He's one of my classmate and my playmate and someday, I want to marry him, mommy."

"Oh, sweet Jesus, you're not yet allowed to marry or have a boyfriend, Cassandra Lizeth." I pretended to be mad.

I don't know why suddenly our conversation turned into something like that. Jeez! She's only four years old. I think I should talk to Jackelyn about this. "But mommy---"

"You are still young, my baby, besides, you promised me not to grow up fast, remember?"

She pouted but eventually smiled.

"Yup, but when I grow up can I marry him, mommy?"

I closed my eyes for a second... and bit my tongue. I was just crying a while ago, but now I don't know how to stop the smile that wanted to curl up my lips.

"Fine, when you grow up, but for now, let's go back to sleep because we have to get up early." I motioned her to lie down and I put the blanket up to her shoulder.

"Hmm... why, because it's my birthday?"

"Huh? I don't know. What's the occasion tomorrow?" I hid my smile.

"It's my birthday, mommy."

"Really? It's your birthday tomorrow? I didn't know about that."

"Ahh..." she crunched her face, giving me her cutest pout.

"I'm just kidding, good night, my princess."

"Good night, mommy, I love you."

"I love you more." I pulled her closer to me and kissed her on the forehead.

-'How I wish you really would not grow up and stay a baby forever.'-

Actually, I wasn't feeling sleepy, but I still tried to close my eyes. I just busied my mind thinking about my princess's birthday tomorrow, the gifts, the fun, the greetings and everything else, so I could at least forget what happened.