One More Chance
Chapter 75: Same ground

~~~My love, it's been a long time since I cried and left you out the blue. I have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine, more it clears the more I gotta let you go. That's why I don't understand why I'm feeling so bad now when I know it was my idea. I could've just denied all the truth and lied, but why am I the only one standing stranded on the same ground?~~~

-Janella Salvador-

Samantha's POV:

"Wow! You look so gorgeous, mom." I couldn't help exclaiming when I saw my mother in a white dress.

Next week is their 50th anniversary and Dad has asked her to marry him for the second time. They were about to renew their vows and I can't help but feel excited for them. To me, it only shows that forever does exist. So we decided to buy her a dress for their upcoming wedding.

"You think so?" She asked me, looking in the mirror.

"Yup. You look so beautiful that I'm sure when daddy sees you at the moment, he will fall in love with you over again." I replied smiling as I nodded.

She replied to my statement not with words but with a grin. A wide grin almost reaches her eyes. The love and happiness were visibly shown in her eyes and somehow, I envied and felt proud of that happiness at the same time. I'm so proud that they became my parents, loving and very supportive parents that a child wished to have. And I envied because deep down inside me, I also wish to have someone like Dad who will be there to love me until we grow old. "Okay, Miss, I'll take this." She said waving to the saleslady.

After buying her dress, we went straight to the shoe boutique to find her a new pair of sandals to fit her dress.

It's just the two of us at that moment because Jack has a friend-date with Paul. I don't know what's going on between the two, but I'm happy as she started going out now.

And since it's a rare moment that the two of us have the opportunity to go out together, we decided to watch a movie and eat at her favorite restaurant. We also went to a salon and have a body massage to relax our muscles.

When we're done, we stopped at an Italian restaurant and that's when she started asking me about Luke.

"How are you, sweetie?"

Her question made me look at her with a frown.

"What do you mean by that question, mom?" I asked, with a slight chuckle.

"How are you?" She shrugged. "I mean to say, how is your heart?"

I still don't get it so my frown gets deeper.

"Okay, I just want to know if you're okay that Luke always visiting Cali at the house."

"Of course, mom, we've already talked about it. He can drop by and spend time with her whenever he wants."

Hmm... alright, but how about you? We know that if he goes to visit his daughter every day, that means you're gonna see him every day too."

I just sighed, giving her a half-hearted smile. What am I going to tell her? That it's not really okay for me to see him every day, but I have no choice because it's his right to see his daughter.

"Sam, are you still affected by what happened?"

"Mom?"

"There's nothing wrong with talking to him, sweetie, he's your daughter's father."

"I know, mom, but the relationship between him and Cali's as a father and daughter has nothing to do with us. It's just me and Luke."

She didn't say anything, she just stared at me and we fall into silence.

"Tell me, are you still affected by Luke's presence?"

"Mommy, a few minutes ago, you asked me if I'm still affected by what happened between us, and then now you're asking me if I'm still affected by him. What's your next question, if I'm still in love with him---" I was shocked by what I said. I wasn't thinking before mentioning it.

"Are you?" But her question shocked me more.

"No!" I said, my voice coming a bit loud. "I've already moved on from him! I don't have feelings for him anymore!"

"You don't sound defensive, my dear." She chuckled at me.

"I was just shocked by your question."

She stared at me for a few seconds before she opened her mouth again.

She didn't say anything, she just stared at me and we fall into silence.

"Tell me, are you still affected by Luke's presence?"

"Mommy, a few minutes ago, you asked me if I'm still affected by what happened between us, and then now you're asking me if I'm still affected by him. What's your next question, if I'm still in love with him---" I was shocked by what I said. I wasn't thinking before mentioning it. "Are you?" But her question shocked me the most.

"No!" I said, my voice coming a bit loud. "I've already moved on from him! I have no feelings for him anymore!"

"You didn't seem defensive, my dear." She chuckled at me.

"I was just shocked by your question."

She stared at me for a few seconds before opening her mouth again.

"Well, if that so, then it's good, besides, you already have a boyfriend and I'm excited to meet him."

A wide smile spread across my lips when she mentioned the word 'my boyfriend'.

"He told me he will request for a vacation leave and he'll come to visit me here." "Really?"

"Yup." I nodded, smiling.

"Sam..." I was slightly surprised when she held my hand that rested on the table. "As your mother, I always want what's best for you. I want you to find happiness, but I also want you to be always honest and true to yourself."

"W-What do you mean, mom?" I thought she had already stopped, but I was wrong.

"I know that even if you're telling me that you've already moved on from your past, I can see---I can feel that you're still affected by it. If not, then it won't be hard for you to talk to him, to at least be civil to him. I'm not asking you to befriend your ex but it's not right that you show your daughter how much you despise her father."

"Mom, I don't show it in front of Cali, actually, I don't even talk to her father even though I sometimes wanted to shout at him. He's always bothering me lately."

"Then why don't you talk to him somewhere where you can tell him everything? You can ask the questions you wanted to ask him that you just kept inside." "But there's no reason to do it, mommy!"

"And why is that?"

-'Haist! How many times do I have to explain this matter? Why do they always ask me this question?'- I asked myself, closing my eyes for a few seconds.

"There's no reason to talk to him about our past because, firstly, it's in the past and secondly, we already have our own lives now. He has a girlfriend and I also have a boyfriend!"

"Even at least for the closure?"

"Closure? What do mean by closure, mom? We are no longer a teenager to find closure or whatever! We got divorced four years ago, right? So that means the divorce was our closure besides, it's so awkward if we're going to talk somewhere about what happened." "There will always be awkwardness and it will never be gone unless you still have a grudge over the past."

"Because it's not easy to forget what he did, mom!"

"Hmm... I thought you said you already moved on?"

"Yes, I do, in fact, I now have David, right? But what I'm trying to say is that it's not easy to forget what I've been through. Okay, let's just say there will come a time that I will not be able to avoid talking to him, but it will not vanish or lessen the pain he gave me back then. I know I won't remain angry with him forever, but for now, I still can't forgive him." I said, shaking my head as I stared straight at her.

"Okay..." She sighed and then smiled at me. "Just forget that I asked you about it and let's pretend that we haven't discussed this matter."

"Mommy?"

"Shhh... I am your mother and even though you're not telling me what you feel, I know it. I already know it."

I don't know, but I suddenly gulped when she said those words.

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever."

"W-Why are you saying this to me, mom?"

But she only smiled and shook her head.

"You will still be my baby even though you already have a baby."

And that made me laugh at her.

"Haist... is that what this wedding can do to you, mom?" I asked, still laughing.

The atmosphere suddenly lightened and we started talking about random things as if we hadn't discussed my past a few minutes ago.

Honestly, I still don't know how long I can avoid Luke when he visits his daughter every day and he bothers me as well.