Promises Forgotten
Chapter 17

We spent another two hours going through photos and videos of Greece. I started to recognize more places. The last few of my memories that I had slowly recovered the past few weeks had the setting correctly backdropped. Some of the photos I knew were direct from the memories I had already recalled. Everyone was in tears after seeing the seventy or so photos that I had apparently taken. Evie’s photos and videos were more candid, but there were fewer of them than there were at Vegas. We sat in silence, finishing our drinks as I closed the laptop.

Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes. Stacy was right about one thing. After looking at these, even if I never got my memories back, this fundamentally changed me. The path going forward for my life was now altered. I could never go back. Not after seeing them. Knowing what I had and what I lost, I never wanted to love again. Everything would pale. Even Adrian was struggling with the concept of it.

I knew I would never love Jennifer. I figured after a few years she would tire of me. We would divorce, as high profile couples do. One day I would find someone who I would love and settle down with, much like Adrian and his love for Nicole. A love I craved. Now though, how could any love come close to what I had apparently already experienced.

“Mother is calling.” Adrian got up from the couch and walked over to the window. He kept his voice low, though even through his calm voice you could hear the slight slur.

“So now what? Now what happens?” Jason rolled over and flopped his head between Stacy and me.

“Honestly, I don’t know. For a moment, I thought I could just forget what Jennifer did. Forgive and forget knowing that it doesn’t f*****g matter anyways. I always figured she would be the one to sleep around during our marriage. I didn’t really mind it as long as she kept it out of the public eye.”

Stacy set her cup down on the table. “And now?”

I chuckled. “I can’t even fathom touching another woman right now after seeing all those.”

Jason laughed. “You turn gay now? Does that mean I have a chance?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Stacy’s hand came up and flicked his forehead. “Not what he meant, a*****e. Basically, being in any relationship would pale in comparison. A companionship will always be judged against that…” She gestured to the laptop. “I mean, it’s hard enough for us to be looking at that and not question our own lives. But imagine if that was you Jason, you were Zach and you didn’t remember shit about that. You honestly think you could recover from seeing that, knowing it was you?”

“Thanks, Stace.” I side-eyed her and she smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, but it’s true. I can’t image your headspace right now.”

Again, I chuckled through my nose and leaned my head back on the couch. “You don’t want to know. You really don’t want to know.”

“So why not try? If she does still love you, isn’t it worth trying? Even if you have to relearn and go through it all again. Isn’t it worth it?” Jason asked.

“It’s not simple. It’s not two people in love anymore, Jay. It’s one person who can’t remember the love we shared. And the person who was literally left alone and forgotten for three years. How much hate and animosity has built over those years as she watched her husband in the tabloids getting engaged and moving forward as if she never existed? It doesn’t matter if I didn’t remember, those years were torture for her, I’m sure. Let alone her sacrificing her right arm for me.”

Stacy placed her hand on my knee. “I don’t think she hates you, Zach. Her eyes never said she hated you. Angry? Definitely. Hurt? Oh yeah. But hate? None of that. If anything, a love like that doesn’t just…go away. It might be worth it, Zach. If you’re choosing between being alone for the rest of your life or reaching out. At least if you reach out, you can’t live your life regretting that you never did.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “I…”

“Z, Mother wants us to come over. Apparently, the Sinclair’s are there now, including Jennifer. They want to…solidify our position on the matter.”

“F**k. I’m too drunk for this shit.”

Jason and Stacy laughed. They stood and pulled me up. The room spun and Adrian managed to right me before I fell. Giggling, I shook my head.

“Alright. Let’s f*****g go. I guess there is no way I could do it sober anyways. Mother wants us now; she gets us now.” I pointed to the four of Stacy and Jason I was seeing. “You four need to get a cab home. It’s too late and I’m not paying you anymore.”

Jason helped Adrian walk me out to the back elevator where my driver was waiting. Adrian got in and I followed after. Stacy was holding onto Jason’s arm and they waved as we drove off to the hell hole that is my parents house.

I looked over at Adrian. “How long do you think it’s going to take for them to realize they are f*****g perfect for each other?”

Adrian laughed and propped his arm up on the window, leaning against it. “After that slide show, never. No one is going to be able to view love the same again.”

I shook my head. “Truthfully, all I wanted, somewhere down the road, was a love like you and Nicole have.”

Adrian whipped his head to me, his mouth slightly open. I laughed again and reached out, closing his mouth.

“Why the f**k does that shock you? You and Nicole, you two are f*****g beautiful together. It was like what Mom and Dad had. It wasn’t a loud love. It was quiet, but sensual. It was a love that had roots deeper than we as kids could ever see. I was jealous. Severely. I hoped that after this whole Jennifer phase was over, I could find someone who would actually love me like that. Someone who would actually f*****g want kids and I could build a family with.” I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. Instead, tears streamed down his cheeks.

“F**k, dude, don’t cry. I’m your older brother. I’m supposed to look out for you. Don’t f*****g start sobbing.”

Adrian leaned his shoulder against mine and rested his head against me. “You had everything. Dad’s approval and the company. He placed you on this pedestal that I realized I would never reach. Seeing you though, seeing how unhappy it made you, hurt me. I was so jealous for so many years but when I saw you start to recede into this shell of the big brother I had…” He sniffled.

“…I could only feel sorry for you. Then you came back from the accident and it was so much worse. You were so closed off and just shut away from everyone and everything. Dad took advantage of it and so did Mother. It infuriated me that you let them, and I thought you deserved everything that was coming.”

I looked at him, shock on my face this time.

“But now, if the accident is what tore you away from her, from your goddess, your Grandma to Grandpa, I understand and I hate that you lost it. I hate that there is even a sliver of a chance that you will never smile like that again. That smile…the last time I saw it was the picnic we took in Italy. Under that giant tree, with Mom and Dad. It was the last trip we had with her. Do you remember?”

“Of course, I remember, you dolt. It’s one of my most cherished memories of Mom. Of all of us together really.”

“That smile, that’s the same smile you had back then. The smile you lost when she got sick. Z, you have to try. You have to try to reach out to her. You can’t lose her. Grandpa will strangle you in the afterlife if you do.”

Smiling, I leaned my head against Adrian. Not remembering the last time my little brother leaned on me like this.

“I’ll try, A. I promise. I’ll do what I can.” I said it quietly, nearly in a whisper.

“We are here, sir.”

Adrian sat up and I looked out of the window in disgust. The three-story mansion that could fit a whole village inside tried to greet us, but instead it loomed over us in the dark. Adrian patted my back before getting out of the car. He stumbled a bit and I snickered. However, getting out on my side proved more catastrophic and I fell back against the car. Adrian let out a barking laugh.

“Don’t f*****g snicker when you can’t even f*****g stand up straight, you a*s.”

I giggled and headed toward the front door, shoving my hands in my pockets. “Shit, I forgot my jacket at work.”

“What are you? Going to a business meeting?”

I raised my eyebrow at him as we walked up the grand marble stairs to the front door. “Isn’t it what all this has ever been? This whole marriage was a business agreement. Did you not know that?”

He sighed and shook his head. Reaching over to press the bell, he stumbled and I caught him, only for us to nearly tumble together to the ground. The door opened up and my mother looked at the two of us. Her smile dropped quickly from her face.

“Are the two of you drunk?” She hissed and Adrian chuckled.

“You said now. You didn’t ask what we were doing or how we were doing. You just said come. So we came. In all our glory.”

I laughed and righted him, slightly pushing him into the house. Following after him, I smiled and kissed my mother on the cheek.

“It’s lovely to see you too, Mother.”

She coughed slightly. “How long have you two been drinking?”

“Me? God, what time is it now? Eight? Seven hours?” Adrian called back. “Don’t ask Z though, you don’t want to know.”

“Why is that?” She glared at me.

Adrian giggled, as he walked down the hall. “Because I carried his drunk a*s to bed last night and he hasn’t stopped.”

“Over 24 hours by now., maybe 26 now.” I couldn’t help but smile.

My mother slapped me on arm. “What the hell? Do I need to send you somewhere, Zachary?”

I shook my head. “It’s been a rough couple of days, Mother. It was only compounded by this Jennifer shit.”

We walked together into their sitting area, and I saw my father sitting in his usual seat, fingers laced together. To his right was Gerald Sinclair and next to him, his wife Kirsten Sinclair. Jennifer was nervously fidgeting with her dress next to her mother, not looking up. My mother sat to the left of my father on the cream and floral print couch. Adrian plopped down next to her ungracefully and she shot him a glare. Holding in a giggle, I didn’t trust myself not to pass the f**k out anywhere I sat and so I stood, leaning against the back of the couch.

“Zachary, thank you for showing up.” My father’s words were laced with sarcasm, but I just smiled.

“Anything for my mother.”

She snorted and Adrian shot me a smirk. I winked and looked back at the family sitting opposite us. They look like sinners in church, and I couldn’t help but laugh. This whole situation had snowballed out of control.