Saved By The Firefighter
Chapter 118

Joanne's Point of View.

My stomach is swirling, like it is in the middle of a cyclone, even sipping my tea is causing it to lunge. In an attempt to distract my mind from the thoughts that plague me about this shout the team are on, I begin the mundane task of sorting out Whip-me's filing cabinet. Honestly, it is a job I have been putting off, it is in such a mess.

I grab the files, place them on the floor, ready to sort them in date order going back 8 years. There are thousands of them. Each contains information on every shout that was done on each of the specific dates. Crouched onto my knees. My hands tremble slightly as I sift through the files to find the earliest date, the temptation to look and read through them weighs heavy on my mind. But, I know if I do that it will not help me control my nerves as I wait for news that this blasted fire is out. If anything, the details of fires and rescues from the past, will only serve to make my anxious state worse.

My thoughts run to my precious son. Closing my eyes, I say a silent prayer for his protection. He has so much ahead of him now. A beautiful fiancée, a baby, that when he or she arrives will bring nothing but joy and happiness. A small smile teeters on my lips as I think about the arrival of my grandchild. My mind wanders to what gender it is, if they look like Ben or Lucy. These thoughts are much more pleasant than the ones of impending doom that I have been focusing on since the guys went to that burning factory. However, the positive feelings I get from thinking about my son's unborn child soon evaporate, when my mind begins to conjure up images of Lucy struggling to bring up the baby on her own. Ben, gone from their lives. Tears began to sting my eyes, as I blinked them back, taking a deep breath, holding it for a second and slowly releasing it, a trick my counselor taught me, when I visited them after Ben's accident, in order for me to control my stress levels.

"I am worrying about something that has not happened." I say over and over like a mantra, but try as I might, I cannot rid myself of the utter fear that is consuming my body.

Snapping my thoughts back to the dates and times on the folders, I attempt once more to distract myself. It works for a few moments, before images of Whip-me flood my mind.

Fear and concern about the new partner in my life floods my mind, not pushing my fears about Ben away, only making them that little bit worse. At least with Kelvin, I know he will not be inside the fire. That said, I know, after one of our many deep conversations that he is under a lot of pressure and how he feels sending his team into the flames. He has spoken at length to me about the guilt he feels when things go wrong, not just towards his team, but also their families.

I let out a long sigh, shaking my head, in a vain attempt to focus my mind on the files that lay strewn across the office floor.

My eyes glance over at the scanner that is sat at the back of Whip-me's desk, the temptation to turn it on and listen in to what is happening at the factory, has my hands twitching. My heart wants me to go turn the dial, switching the scanner on, but my brain tells me it will serve no purpose, only increasing my fears. After all, do I really want to know?

"Please God let them be okay...please." I say to the empty office. Hoping that the big man upstairs hears my plea.

Unable to concentrate at all on the files, I shake my head. This was a futile task, I cannot even work out what date comes before what, or the time stamps, such is my nervous state.

With a defeated sigh, I glance at the clock. Seeing the time, I realise it is not long until ;Yellow watch' arrive, so I gather the files together and dump them back into the top drawer of the filing cabinet, then proceed to do the only thing I can. Pace the floor. "Joanne, you are still here." Lead firefighter Smith said, poking his head around the door.

I nod my head, officially I should have been out of here a few hours ago, but I could not bring myself to leave.

"Go home Joanne, there is nothing you can do in here." He kindly tells me, placing his hand on my arm.

More tears formed in my eyes as I will them not to fall.

"Do you know how it is going?" I ask him, in a desperate plea for some positive information.

He doesn't answer me, which gives me all the information I need to know.

It. Is. Not. Going. Well.

The tears I have fought win their battle and begin to stream down my face.

"Try not to worry, they know what they are doing." Smith tells me. A sympathetic smile on his face.

I know he is right, but not worrying about the two men I love is easier said than done.

"Go home." He gently urges me, picking up my coat from the rack and passing it to me, as a gentle nudge for me to get out of the station.

I cannot help but wonder if the reason for that, is that they do not want me to know just how badly things are going.

I take my coat from him, and grab my bag, when my mobile phone begins to buzz.

Lucy - I have just seen the news, is Ben on this shout! Xxx

I look at the message, and let out another long breath. Lucy, my gorgeous soon-to-be daughter-in-law, really does not need this stress, but not answering her will only make her anxiousness worse, and break the bonds of trust between us. Joanne - Yes, he is, they all are. I am going to come over. Xxx

I tell her.

Lucy - Kathline has called me, she is beside herself, and Anders is just sitting staring at the TV in his office. We can see the smoke from the window. Xxx

Yes, of course Kathline and Anders would be going through the mill, just as Lucy and I are. At times like these, we need to be together, offering each other support. Kelvin would want me to ensure that they are okay, to help them through the wait. I know that I will gain strength from being with them.

Joanne - Message Kathline, and ask her and Anders to make their way to whip-me's. We will all be closer to the station, ready for when they come back. Andy can sleep in the room he has for Moses. Xxx

I know this is a time we all need to pull together, to support each other, so I drop Anne, Wayne's mother, a message, giving her the address so that she can join us, then with a reluctant determination to do the right thing, I message Twinkle's 'Mrs' as well. Anne I am with my sister, but thanks for the offer. If you hear anything, will you let me know please? X

I shoot back a quick text back to Wayne's mum, telling her that I would keep her informed, not that I will know anything more than she would now. Then make my way out of the station for the 10-minute walk to Whip-me's house.

I head past the top lake, looking at the swans that elegantly float around the still waters, ducks quack in the distance, as people stand around throwing bread and grapes into the murky water. Normally I would stand and watch them for a while, but today I have no desire to waste a second of my time, when I need to get to the house and turn on the TV and watch the local news. Desperate for any information they may have.

I passed the working men's club, then round the bend, before crossing the road, and made my way up the long driveway that leads to Whip-me's front door. As I look up, I see Lucy and Anders are already there, sitting in the Porsche patiently waiting for me.

I raise my hand up to them, in greeting, as Lucy bundles herself out of the car, she rushes passed me, and heads for the bushes on the side of the driveway and starts to be sick.

Anders gets out of his car, his normally tanned face looks pale, his eyes wide, the fear I feel in my heart swirling in his eyes.

"Any news Joanne?" He instantly asks.

I shake my head, clenching my lips together, as I suppress the sobs I feel coming. I need to be strong, I need to help keep us all as calm as possible, even though I feel like I am falling apart.

Throwing the front door key to Anders, I make my way over to Lucy, as she vomits in the bushes, rubbing her back. A new wave of concern floods me, as I watch the physical reaction the stress of this fire is having on her. This is the last thing she needs. All I can hope is that it does not trigger another bout of her server morning sickness.

"Sorry." Lucy mumbles between her bouts of projectile vomiting.

"It is okay, try to breathe Lucy. They will be okay." I tell her, only wishing I could fully believe my own attempts at reassurance.

Finally, her vomiting stops, as she dry wretches into the bushes. Her face wet from her tears.

"Come on, let's get inside." I whisper softly to her.

I need to keep Lucy calm, to try and protect her and the baby from the horrors that are playing out not four miles away.

As I turn and glance down the drive to see if Kathline was arriving, I saw in the distance the pillars of thick black smoke, s**t, this fire was far from under control, and I let out a heavy breath, before ushering Lucy inside.

As we walk into the lounge area, I notice that Anders had already turned the TV on.

"f**k, this is bad, it has made the national news." He growls out, running his hand through his hair.

I glance at the TV, as the reporters stand talking about what is happening. In the distance, I can see teams of firefighters, and I watch, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ben, but the only person I can see, is my whip-me as he stands toe to toe with one of the regional managers, the anger on his face is as clear as day, even from the distant shot on the TV.

I close my eyes slightly, blowing out another breath, then turn on my heel, walking towards the kitchen.

"I will make us all some tea." I say, wanting a little time to gather myself, so that I can be a calming influence for both Lucy and Anders.

Switching on the kettle, I slump against the counter, allowing a few moments for my tears to fall before heading back into the lounge. As the kettle boils, the sound of the switch telling me it is ready, I wipe the tears from my eyes with my hands.

"Enough, you have a job to do, for Ben, and Whip-me." I reprimanded myself, then pour the water into the pot, only to realise I had not put any teabags in it. Rectifying my mistake, I gather cups, and place them onto a tray, then take some ginger biscuits and place them on a plate, hoping to encourage Lucy to nibble on them, then walk back into the lounge.

"What have they said?" I ask, as I place the tea tray on the coffee table.

"That there are still people trapped inside. They are going to interview someone from the brigade about the rescue plan." Anders informs me, his eyes never leaving the big screen.

I let out a breath, and nod. After this amount of time, whoever is trapped in that burning building is already dead, and I cannot help but wonder if that was why Kelvin looked so angry speaking with the National Manager.

"Kathline is at work, she is finishing up, then going to pick up Andy, along with Kirstie and Dante, Cal has messaged. They have asked those who are due to pass out in the next couple of weeks, go to the fire to lend a hand with some of the grunt work, of looking after the engines." Lucy sighs, her hands trembling.

"Don't worry, he will not have to fight the fire, Lucy, just ensure a steady stream of water is available, and keep the equipment on all the engines sorted ready for the guys." I tell her.

Lucy nods, wiping her tears from her eyes.

"I just want him home." She sobs out, as Anders nods his head in silent agreement with her sentiment.

"I know." I whisper, because that is what we all want. Our loved ones home and safe.