Saved By The Firefighter
Chapter 123

It is funny how grief affects us all differently. Some cry, shout, collapse, in dramatic fashion. Others take to their beds for days on end unable to find the will to get up. Sometimes people turn to the lure of alcohol in a bid to forget. Whilst some people are deemed to have zero emotions, they just get on with it, only to have the breakdown months or weeks after the event. I, however, am just numb.

The tole of the bell breaks the silence, as the gathered mourners stand heads bowed in respect. I glance over at Lucy, who cradles her small bump with her hands. Tears stream unabashedly down her beautiful face. The shock and stress of that day played its part, causing her to end up in hospital again, her body unable to cope with anything she put inside it. But thankfully my grandchild is still here, safe and sound.

As the bell tolls again, my eyes wander to Kathline, as she hugs her son tight to her, she is putting on a brave face, holding it together for her child, but I know, she is falling apart inside.

Another toll of the bell, and I glance at Anders, his skin pale, his brow furrowed, as he stared straight ahead, not blinking, not flinching.

I glance over to Twinkles 'Mrs'. Tears fall down her cheeks as her shoulders bob up and down from her sobs, as the bell rings out again, breaking the silence. My eyes look to Anne, who stands with her back straight, as she takes a white handkerchief from her pocket, that stands out against the black coat and gloves. She silently, with reverence, dabs the tear from her eye.

The low hum of an engine moving towards the Crematorium. I glance around, the autumn leaves fall to the ground, floating a while in the soft breeze. It is fitting, in a way, nature's tribute to the fallen.

The open ceremonial engine comes to a halt, the cherry wood coffin sits draped in the union flag, a single bouquet of flowers mostly white lilies, placed on the top.

I watch still numb, my mind still not making sense of that day, as 6 black uniforms, with shiny buttons and shoes step forward, to carry the coffin on their shoulders.

They step forward in unison, as the Coffin is moved out of its fire engine carriage and on to their shoulders.

I watch, as Kelvin, my whip-me who only got out of hospital four days ago after his heart attack, stands linking arms with my son, my two brave hero's walking together side by side. Kelvin should not be carrying the coffin, he should be resting, but no one dared tell him that when he said he would stand beside Ben today.

Davey links his arm around Josie, her diamond engagement ring sparkles under the low autumn sun. They rest the coffin on their shoulders, both of their faces looking grave as Josie cries a single tear. They had escaped that blast with barely a scratch, survivor's guilt had eaten away at each and everyone of those in that building who came out of their alive.

Twinkle gets into place behind Josie, nodding his head to Headache, as a tear falls down his cheeks. They have all taken Wayne's death badly, but none more so than Headache, devastated at the loss of the lad, who only now tells the world he loved as a little brother.

The six of them carry their brother into the crematorium, as Anne bravely follows the coffin, her face awash with tears, but with grace and serenity, that I know if it was Ben, I would not have displayed.

We follow her in, at her request, Anne, insisting we are all one family. She is not wrong, we are family, our loved one's bond is forged in the fires they fight together. Ours is forged in the utter terror we feel each day they head to work, not knowing if they are going to return to us, something nobody can explain, unless they have felt the magnitude of it.

The music begins to play. The sound of the mourners singing the hymn "The Lord is my Shepard" echoes around the crematorium.

As the coffin reaches the bottom of the small aisle, the team place Wayne down before each of them tap the coffin a couple of times, before making their way to the seats at the front. Anne sits surrounded by the management from head office, as Lucy, Anders, Kathline, Andy and I sit behind her.

The Vicar begins to speak, but the words swim in my brain, unable to make sense of the events of that day. How five of the firefighters could beat the odds, but one was sucked back into the flames instead of blown forward away from them. How was that even possible. Kelvin, flat lining in the ambulance, only for his heart to be restarted on the second attempt. Yes, he will not work in a station again, but he was here, alive and well. I had been blessed, I had my son with me, my amazing Kelvin by my side, my new grandchild to look forward to, whilst just in front of me was Anne, who had lost everything.

Kelvin stood up, to give his eulogy for Wayne, and the numbness began to evaporate a lump forming in my throat.

"Firefighter John Hudson, or Wayne to all of us who knew and loved him, was a hero in all respects of the word. His love and zest for life made our working shifts a brighter place to be. Although I would not recommend his cooking." Kelvin smiled. A titter of laughter went round the congregation.

"He had a love for the USA, he even had picked up the accent." Kelvin said, as again titters of laugher echoed around the stone walls.

The lump that was in my throat erupted, as finally the numbness left me, and hot streams of tears fell down my cheeks.

"He was so excited the day he walked into the station to tell us he was going to go to Disney World on his holidays. He made us hot dogs, and fries to celebrate." Kelvin smiled, shaking his head slightly at the memory.

"The hot dogs were cold, the buns were soggy as he forgot to drain the brine and the onions were both raw and burnt, at the same time, which is a feat in itself." Kelvin smiled.

"Wayne was a horrid cook, an American enthusiast, a brother to his team. A hero. But more than that, he was a son, who loved his mother, a man, no more than a boy, who, without thought for his own safety, ran into that factory to help get victims out. He will be missed by everyone blessed enough to have known him." Kelvin finished, then walking past the coffin he returned to his seat, as Anne sobbed once more.

Slowly Kelvin turned his head towards me, a question in his eyes that I knew was asking me if he had done okay, a rare moment of under confidence from my amazing man. I simply nodded my head, raising the corners of my lips ever so slightly, to give him the reassurance he needed.

The service ended, as we each walked past the coffin, saying our own silent goodbye to Wayne, before he entered his final fire. Then stepped outside, taking a look at the hundreds of floral tributes that sat against a stone wall. Arms circled around my waist, as Kelvin rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you okay baby?" he gently asked.

"Yes, well, as well as you can be." I let out a soft sigh.

"Anne has asked us all to head to the 'Chester's' for the wake." Kelvin let out a sigh, remembering the last time we were all together, was in that pub.

"Yeah, she has hired the function room upstairs, for us." I tell him, as I bend down looking at the floral tribute made in the American flag, that we had ordered from all of us.

"The flower's look great Mother." Ben's voice tells me, as he glances over, his own arm around Lucy, his free hand stroking her tummy.

"Yes, they turned out well. How is Anne getting to the pub?" I ask.

"The big wigs are taking her." Davey tells me, as he walks over with Andy and Kathline, the little lad between them, holding the hands of each of his parents.

Raised voices catch all of our attentions, as Twinkles Mrs, storms off, leaving her husband with his head bowed to the floor, Headache standing beside him, before taking hold of his arm, and fetching him towards us.

"You okay Twinkle?" Josie asks, as she walks from where she was looking at the flowers with Anders.

"Fine." Twinkle shrugs but we all know he is far from fine.

"Come on, why don't we all walk down to the pub, it is not that far from here." Kelvin states.

"Erm, I think you have done enough exercise for one day." I tell him, worried he is doing to much, I never want to go through that day and night again, as he lay clinging to life.

"Gentle exercise is good for me. The doctor told me to go on long walks. So...I am going to be just fine." Kelvin smiles, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Okay, well let's go to the pub and do Wayne proud." Josie exclaims, as we all walk away from the crematorium, past the trees with their fallen leaves, out of the large gates, and head down Chester road, to remember the young lad who gave everything for people who did not even know his name.