Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos
232. Olivia - The Guardian II

"Why?"

Why indeed. I have asked myself the same question many times.

I let go of Ansel and frown while trying to remember everything I heard that night. But the place in which Camila and I were hiding barely let sounds travel in and I missed most of the conversation.

"The other part of the conversation is fuzzy but it was something about hellstars." I frown then add, "I think." I take Ansel's pack of cigars from his pocket. There is one cigar left and I bring it to my lips. "Can you light it for me?" Ansel quirks an eyebrow. "Since when are you smoking?"

I shrug. "Camila and I got curious one day." Ansel pulls out his lighter and lights the cigar for me. "Our curiosity is what got Camila killed." What led to me losing the man I loved. I take a drag from the cigar and cough. "This shit is strong. It will fucking give you cancer and die."

Ansel laughs. "Are you worried about me?"

I take a few smaller puffs, trying to get used to smoking. "I was worried for you, Rueben, and Tyson all these years. The drugs helped me not remember. They made me forget, too-my friendship with Levi, or how you took time to do maintenance to my bike, or how Rueben liked candies, or Tyson is the best at COD and he always beat us." I bring the cigar to my mouth. "The worst part about remembering is knowing that I'll never have that happiness again. Or that life. Knowing that my soul is forever scared. That I lost so much."

Ansel pulls me into his arms. "I'm going to fucking kill your father and brother for what they did to you. To all of us." He cups my face. "I'm sorry for failing you. Despite knowing you came above everything else, I ran from my duty, and I'll regret that all my life. But I'm ready now. Anything you ask of me, I'll do."

What duty is he talking about? Whatever it is, maybe I can use it to make it work in my favor.

I take a drag from the cigar and hold the smoke in my lungs. "Good, because we are going to the Catacombs to retrieve what I stole from my father," I say before kissing Ansel and filling his mouth with smoke. Ansel growls against my lips and lifts me up by my ass while inhaling the smoke. My legs wrap around his waist. "The Catacombs?"

"Don't tell me you're afraid," I joke.

The Catacombs are a place of eternal suffering. I'm scared too, but I survived it once.

Because Camila was with me. The demons worshiped the ground she walked on and barely paid any attention to me, which worked in my favor.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't," Ansel replies. "But why the Catacombs?"

"To retrieve what I stole."

Ansel blinks. "You hid it in the Catacombs? Must be worth a lot."

I shrug. "If my father wants it, then what better place to hide it if not a place full of angry demons?"

"You are something else," Ansel exhales softly, releasing the smoke. "I'm intrigued but also shitting my pants. But fuck. I'll follow you to Hell and Heaven. To the end of the world and back."

I don't know what comes over me but I ask, "Do you love me, Ansel? Do you truly love me?"

"I've loved you long before I knew your name. But our love is forbidden," he says before passing the smoke back to me.

Forbidden?

My soul quakes.

Not that I love Ansel but no one will ever deny me things. Never again.

"I allow it," I declare before having Ansel take a drag from the cigar and he passes the smoke to me.

"Even if you wouldn't have wanted me, you are stuck with me. You are not only my love and obsession, the thing I crave the most in this entire world, but you are the one I have to protect." It is not the first time Ansel said something similar.

I press my mouth to his and we kiss like starved people before I pass the smoke back to him. I've never done something like this before, but it makes my clit throb. Fuck. I think I want Ansel to fuck me. Something is wrong with-

I stop the thought right there. Tyson said there's nothing wrong with me. He might have been awful to me, but he is not a liar. At least in that moment, he was being truthful to me.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a man who is bonded to me. Who loves me. Right? There's nothing wrong with wanting a man who eats my pussy like it's the best thing he has ever tasted. Right? Because the orgasms Ansel gave me are out of this world.

"Protect me?" I huff. "You have a long way to go," I tease him as I grind myself against him. "Especially if you want to earn my forgiveness. Because right now, I don't want to be bonded with you."

"But you want me to fuck you."

I want to forget everything that had happened to me and start a new life but alas, I can't have everything that I want. "What I want is to discover who I really am. If I want to have to fuck you or not. To be your bonded or be single for the rest of my life. So yeah, just because I get wet doesn't mean I want to drop my panties for you."

He groans. "I figured. This is why I'm holding back but you are making this difficult for me."

I take a long drag from the cigar. “Men usually fuck me without asking if I want it or not. It's refreshing to see you are actually not like that. That someone is actually listening to me."

Ansel has me standing. "Olivia," he swallows hard. There is pity in his eyes.