Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos
248. Tyson - Truths I

For the sake of my sanity, Ansel pauses the video.

"We owe it to Olivia to watch everything. You owe it to her to know what she's been through," Ansel insists. He is right. "To know how and why Camila died."

"We already know how Camila died. Killed by Olivia with a bullet right in her heart," Rueben huffs, making me angry because he said he is all in, but he changes his mind more often than his socks. He is not reliable when it comes to our woman. My woman. The thought of having to share her with my blood-brothers is fucking with my head, but I'm not the only one who loves her. Ansel and Jasper have proved that they care deeply for Olivia. "But I do agree that we do need to find out why Olivia killed Camila," Rueben adds, making me whip my head in his direction, wanting to know if he is finally pulling his head out of his ass.

I get dizzy almost immediately.

Fucking Senator Deymar.

How the fuck did he know where we lived? Except for a few people we trusted, we never gave our address to anyone. And we have it registered under a fake name.

I need to smoke and clear my head. Even rest my eyes for a bit before Ansel finishes showing us the rest of the videos. I'm going to have to watch how Olivia was raped. For years, I hated her for something she didn't do. I abandoned her, blocked her number, not wanting to hear her voice, and drowned in alcohol and drugs, not caring for one second how she felt. I should leave her alone so she can heal from what Jason and Carlos did to her, from what *I* did to her, but I'm too shellfish to do so. When we find her, because we will, I'll take her to my bed and not let her get out for a long time. I want to make it clear to her that no matter what, she is still mine and that she owns my heart. I want to paint her insides with my cum and cover her body in kisses. I want her to know that everything that happened is not her fault but mine for not being there to protect her when she needed it the most. For the rest of my life, I'll make sure she knows she is loved. More than that, I'll do whatever it takes to show her how sorry I am for everything.

I stand. "I need a smoking break," I say before heading out of the house. Before I reach the front door, I trip several times, because I can't remember where the furniture is. My fingers hurt like a motherfucker, and grabbing the doorknob sends jolts of pain all over my body, but it keeps me from spiraling into fucking madness.

If I had listened to Olivia back then, today I would have had the life I only dreamed of a beautiful family with the woman of my dreams, a home in the suburbs. After a long day at work, I would have come home to my gorgeous wife and our little ones, had dinner together and after the kids were asleep in their rooms, I would have tried to get her pregnant again. And I wouldn't have had to share her with anyone because I would have been a Priest, not a blood-brother. I am the only one to blame that I'll never have that life.

The urge to fucking yell is so overwhelming I bite my tongue.

"Tyson," Ansel calls my name, but I don't stop to hear what he wants. I just want to smoke and maybe take a walk around the farm.

The light bothers me, and it takes me a few attempts to put on the sunglasses. Having my fingers broken is no fun, especially when I have to go to the bathroom. I feel my pockets, but I can't find a cigar pack. It takes me a moment to remember that the nurse took away my last one when she caught me smoking inside my room. I sit on the rocking chair and try to clear my head.

I lean my head back and close my eyes.

"I know how you're feeling," Ansel tells me as he joins me on the porch a few minutes later.

I shake my head. "You don't. I fucking failed her. I hurt her. I tortured her. How the hell do I make up for that? How do I even begin to ask her to forgive me?" I don't deserve to be forgiven. "She would be a fool to take me back. But even so, I can't give up on her. I need her, man. I need her more than I need oxygen. Not knowing where she is, if someone is hurting her, it fucking hurts. I need to find her and keep her safe."

"We will, but you understand why we must see the videos."

My stomach drops. "How many more are left?"

Resting my eyes for a few minutes helped.

Ansel takes out his pack of cigars and lights one for me and another for him before replying, "A few."

I take a long drag. "How graphic do they get?"

"Some are very graphic, especially the ones with her in the Celestial Heaven." Ansel leans closer to me. "There's one video that you might want to watch when you are alone." "Did you see it?"

Ansel takes out his phone. "It was for the best I did. It helped me clear out a misunderstanding I had."

The notification sound coming from my phone lets me know I have a new email. "What's on the video?"