Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos
298. Olivia - We belong to you I

How do I explain what's wrong with me when I can barely make sense of the turmoil inside me? How can I explain to three men who did absolutely nothing wrong that I feel like a slut because I enjoyed something that is natural?

Mose's eyebrows shoot up. "Olivia?"

I cover my face with my palms. "I am so sorry," I sob.

"What did we do wrong?" Jasper's question makes me feel even worse because it's not their fault.

Tyson comes to me. When he picks me up, I bury my face in the crock of his neck and cry softly against his skin. He has no idea how much it means to me. I don't expect him to be by my side, yet he always comes to me when I need him. Both of us are broken in different ways, and the only time when we are whole is when we are together.

"You did nothing wrong," Ansel says.

I know this, but there are a thousand voices in my head calling me slut, among many other things. My brain tries to understand why Ansel won't do the same as Carlos while in bed. When we are not fucking, I feel like I can trust Ansel with my life, but in the bedroom, he and the others have complete control over my body, their desires and needs above anything else. They don't even know that I'm willing to let them do whatever they want to me because it has been wired inside my head from the moment I entered the Celestial Heaven. Carlos and Jason always claimed that the Lords and the Dukes only like submissive women who always do what they are told and never talk back. The men have the right to correct their wives whenever they misbehave. I am not the wife of Ansel or his blood-brothers, but I might as well be. I already let him know that I am willing to marry him. If I do, will he abuse me like all the other men in my life did?

Rueben hit me with his belt when I scratched his face. It wasn't my intention, but I was scared, and I didn't know what was happening. And Mose spanked me.

This time I didn't do anything wrong, but then why do I feel like I need to be punished?

"She needs a moment," Tyson says and walks away with me before the others can stop him. He takes me to his office and locks the door behind us. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks after he sits on the sofa with me in his lap.

I don't want to, but Tyson is the only one who really knows me. If there's someone who knows what's wrong with me, then that's him. "How can I enjoy something that was forced on me for so long? It's wrong and dirty...." My voice doesn't hide the disgust I feel towards me.

"Sex is neither wrong nor dirty if it is between consensual adults," Tyson tries to convince me otherwise.

I shake my head, frustrated. "Then why do I feel like I did something wrong?"

"Did you feel pressured to do something you didn't want to?" Tyson is genuinely concerned about me.

"No," I quickly reassure him. "Whatever happened was because I wanted."

"Then I don't see what's the problem."

I rest my head against his shoulder. How can I make him understand why I'm so upset? "I enjoyed being fucked. What is wrong with me?" I can't help but wonder.

"There's nothing wrong with you."

I should have known Tyson wouldn't understand what I'm going through. "It doesn't matter."

There's a bag full of beers in the fridge. I'm sure no one will notice if several of them will disappear. The tricky part will be getting them out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. Then, I'll turn on the shower, drink, and cry my eyes out while I scrub myself clean. Easy peasy lemon squeeze.

Except it's not as easy as it seems.

Tyson kisses the base of my neck, sending shivers all over my body. I press my lips in a thin line, not wanting to let him know the effect he has on me.

"Did you like that?" Before I have a chance to deny it, Tyson warns me. "Don't even think about lying to me because I'll know. You don't want to know what I do to those who think they can hide the truth from me."

If he is so good at detecting when I'm lying or not, he should have known that I was telling him the truth about never cheating on him. Maybe the pain produced by the idea of me betraying our love was so great that it blinded him. I shouldn't find excuses for him, not after what he did to me, but maybe deep down, I want to give him another chance.

How can I trust someone who never trusted me?

I want to lie to him, but what good will it do? I always thought that evil can't be fought with evil. Two wrongs will never make a right. "I did."

His palm covers my knee, his thumb drawing circles on my skin. Goosebumps erupt along my arms. "How about now?"

I look at his bookcase full of books. How many of them have been written by Tyson? "It feels good," I say, my gaze still on the books.

His fingers run from my knee all the way to my pussy. The inner side of his palm brushes against me, and I swallow my moan. "Yes," I say before he can ask another dumb question.

My panties are pushed to the side, and before I realize what's happening, his middle finger sinks inside me.

I jerk my gaze back to him. "What are you....?"

My eyes are so red they appear to glow. "You know why you enjoy this?"

His finger moves in circles inside me, driving me crazy.

"No," I breathe.

"Because my blood-brother and I belong to you," he says before his mouth covers mine and kisses me like a starved man.

**Hi everyone. I am back after a much needed break. I am fully charged and ready for more chapters. This is a short updated, but more chapters will posted in the next updated - 2 days from now.**