Sweet Redemption: The Morningstar Series Book 3
Sweet Redemption Chapter 64

I watched Russell drive off. Russell put the mate bond above all else, just like most wolves do. Which is why he refused to let me go with him tonight.

I looked up at my bedroom window and sighed. The light was off. I wonder if Bou went to sleep.

How could he sleep after all of that? My heart feels like it's being set on fire. Does he not feel the same?

Selma was still ignoring me but lucky for me I could still shift. I decided to go for a run through the woods to try and clear my mind. Going towards the treeline I stripped, then shifted. With four paws padding into the dirt I took off in a run. Being in wolf form was so freeing. The wind going through your fur as you ran, it was the best feeling. Aside from any moment Bou smiled at me. The butterflies he gave me were hands down my favorite feeling.

Once again, I thought about the last couple of weeks together. It all started to go wrong when we got back. I asked him if it was the curse and he had told me no. But that was the only thing that I could think of being wrong. Maybe after Bou slept with me he realized he didn't love me. Not enough to be with me and only be forever. He is a s*x demon afterall. Maybe he wanted more than one partner. The thought made me sick to my stomach. Russell was right though. I couldn't keep going on without marking my mate. Either he would have to reject me or I would have to finish the bonding.

Maybe Selma was right and I should just do it without asking. He'd never be able to leave me, and he'd grow to love me eventually. Though he could still cheat on me and I would have to feel that for the rest of eternity. This is such a mess. I ran for a couple of hours before giving up and turning back. At some point I would have to face Bou again anyways. I put my clothes back on and entered the house, only to see Kee waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me. "Why are you up?" I asked her.

"Because your mates thoughts are loud and I'm worried about the two of you." She stated.

"You take on too much Kee. Go to bed." I told her.

Kee scoffed at me. "I wish I could." She said. "Acaisia?"

"Yeah?" I said as I started to climb the stairs.

"Just because your first mate was an a*****e, doesn't mean you don't deserve love. And Bou... He reeaallly loves you." He drawled out the word.

"I'm not so sure about that anymore." I mumbled as I looked up the steps.

"Listen to Selma and just mark him already." Kee stated. I turned my head to say something to her but she was already gone.

Sighing, I climbed the rest of the steps. When I got to my door I took a deep breath and entered. It took me a few seconds to find Bou. He tossed a glass bottle to the side as I walked over to him. I had tried to say his name but he didn't respond. When I reached him and he opened his glazed eyes to look at me, almost all of my worry disappeared. That was my favorite thing about Bou. I would normally say about the bond, but my first mate never made me feel that way. Bou takes away all of my bad emotions and replaces them with nothing but warmth and safety. And here I was causing him pain.

I just wanted to touch him but when I did he stiffened. My heart broke but I released him and he relaxed, breaking my heart more. Bou was obviously upset with me and I couldn't even blame him. When he tried to leave nothing but pure panic rushed through me. Never in my life had I felt fear like that. He couldn't leave. I wouldn't survive it.

Then he threw my own words back at me. Bou told me I didn't stay for him and I had no fight left in me. He was right. I had no right to say anything to him. When he started hurling insults my way I was devasted. Tears flowed down my cheeks no matter how many times I wipped them away. Everything Bou said was right.

I told him I didn't blame him if he left me and I wouldn't. At this point why would he stay? What have I done to make him feel loved?

Nothing. I've done nothing but push him away and be mean to him. My world was caving in and I swear I couldn't breathe.

Then Bou pulled me into his arms. He wrapped me in warmth and held me so tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and clutched onto him, afraid that if I let go he would leave me. He can't leave me. I need him. Then Bou started to apologize to me. When he told me that he didn't love me enough I couldn't take it.

I had taken a step back and stared up at him like he had grown two heads. How could he possibly think he doesn't love me enough? How could he be the one to apologize?

Bou's words were sweet but his t one was off. Almost like it hurt him to love me so much. I felt awful. Never in my life have I felt so f*****g terrible about something. Bou again, was the one to comfort me. I really am a sorry excuse for a mate.

******g Bou was the only good thing that happened that day. I begged him to never stop loving me and I believed him when he said he wouldn't. And after we had made love Bou announced that he was still wasted. I wasn't surprised, he had been slurring all of his words.

I passed out so quickly that I didn't even remember how I got into bed. The next morning after Tia had woken us up I lay there for a few moments staring at my mate. Bou was dead to the world and I loved watching him sleep. The memories of yesterday were still fresh and the guilt was eating at me. Selma was still ignoring me too.

Reluctantly I had gotten up with the promise that I was going to try harder from now on. I was going to show Bou that I love him just as much as he loves me. He deserves the world and I want to give it to him. With any luck, if I show him enough love he'll change his mind about leaving me.

I dressed in a black skirt, white long sleeved cropped shirt, and a pair of thigh high black boots. When Bou see's me in this he's going to give me that lustful look I love. It makes all of those butterflies swarm in my belly. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Bou a small note, just in case he wakes up and I'm not back yet.

Setting it on the pillow I had walked down the steps. The guilt was still weighing me down and I wasn't even trying to hide it. Ahkari gave me a short greeting and I knew she was mad at me. I can't blame her. I'm sure Bianca is furious with me as well. After we had gotten our blood drawn and were walking out, my twin and I had a short conversation. It left me feeling even more guilty. At this point I was fighting back tears so hard it hurt and it didn't even work. All I wanted to do was disappear. It's no wonder Bou hates me.

I stared at the doors my twin had just walked out of for a few minutes. It was still early so there weren't many people around. I let out a breath and started to walk to the doors when I was stopped.

"Oh Acaisia! Can I steal you for a little bit? Are you busy?" Belle had rushed out.

I turned to her, giving the door one last look.

"I was just about to go home. What's up?" I said. I didn't want to tell her no considering she's pregnant, but I also wanted to get back to Bou.

"Oh good. I was trying to get some stuff ready. There are some people coming from the Black Water Pack and I need help." She said.

I froze.

"Black Water? Is comimg here?" I asked.

"Yeah just a few of them." She stated. "Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.

Three hours later Belle had worked me to the bone. I was growing irritated and hungry. I just want to get back to my mate. In our nice warm bed. I also can't believe that Bou didn't come looking for me. Either he was still sleeping, or I f****d up worse than I thought. The anxiety was intense and I needed to go to him. "Alright. Thank you Cais, you can go and find your mate now. I know you're dying." Belle teased.

I didn't even spare her a glance as I booked it out of the room. I was in such a rush that I barely registered it when someone I had passed reached out to grab my arm. Said person had turned me around and I came face to face with the last person I ever wanted to "Hayden." I breathed out.

see.

Black eyes stared down at me with amusement. Hayden still had ahold of my arm but I was frozen in place. I havent seen him in over two years. Back when he rejected me.

"Acaisia." He drawled out as his eyes roamed down my body. It made me sick. "Haven't seen you in forever. Let's catch up." He said with a smirk.

That knocked me out of my shock. I ripped my arm from his hold and took a step back. I glared at Hayden who seemed to find me amusing. "Not a f*****g chance." I gritted out.

"Awh don't be like that." He said taking a step towards me. "We had so much fun last time we were together. Remember?" He said with a laugh.

I scoffed. "Please." I said. "I've had so much better than you since then." It wasn't a lie. Bou made me c*m so much more and so much more intensely than anyone ever has, even this dillhole.

"I've heard." He said then licked his lips. "My friends here," he pointed a thumb behind him at two guys I didn't recognize. "They wanted a little taste of you. Figured I could talk you into giving them a little show." He said.

My jaw dropped. I might have gotten around and that was fine by me. We don't slut shame here, well not in my book. Everything I did was all in good fun. I never lied to anyone, never lead them on. We just had some good times and that was that. But this... I'm not some prostitude for hire. And after everything Hayden had done to me? You've got to be f*****g kidding me.

I glared at Hayden. "f**k off." I said then turned to leave. If I stay in his presence for a second longer I'm going to ring is neck.

Hayden grabbed my arm and twisted me around. I pulled my arm back but he had boxed me against the wall. His friends eyes raked over me with l**t and I almost threw up.

"What the f**k do you think you're doing? You know I could easily kill all three of you." I seethed.

"Yeah." Hayden shrugged. "But you won't. For the same reason you never told anyone about us. So, just be a good little heathen, and give my friends what they want." He said.

I brought my knee up between his legs and Hayden fell to the ground with a loud groan.

"You stupid bitch." One of his friends said and then pinned me to the wall by his forearm.

I reached my fist up to connect with his face. He went down in a heep. s**t, I didn't mean to knock him out. The last friend looked down at his buddy's then back up to me. I waited for him to come after me but he just threw his hands up in surrender. Smart guy. "You're going to f*****g pay for that Acaisia." Hayden gritted out in pain.

I looked down and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Being mated to you was payback enough." I sneered before turning around and rushing out of the school.

I booked it home and straight up to the room I shared with Bou. I need him. I just need him to touch me after being touched by those fuckers. Tears were brimming my eyes as I entered.

"Bou I-" My words were caught in my throat as my room was empty.

The bathroom was empty as well. Ahkari and Bianca were gone. So, he really did wake up and not go looking for me. Guilt ate up my heart and I leaned on the bedroom door. Falling to the ground I pulled my knees up to my chest. I sat there, hugging myself and crying for what felt like forever.

Deciding I just couldn't take this anymore I pulled out my phone and quickly searched for my mates number.

"Hello?" A womens voice answered.

"Who the f**k is this?" I asked pissed off.

I could hear mumbling in the background and then my mates voice.

"Why the f**k would you answer my phone? I made it pretty f*****g clear I'm taken and don't want you. Go away. F**k." He must have been talking to whoever answered his phone. "Hello? Acaisia? Baby please tell me you're still there."

Hearing my mates voice so soft towards me had more tears streaming down my face. Just his voice had me feeling a bit lighter. I miss him.

"Acaisia?" Bou asked again, worry in his voice.

"I'm here. Sorry. I..I'm here." I tried to sound calm.

"What's wrong baby you sound sad? Are you okay?" He asked.

"I.." I wanted to lie and tell him that I was fine, but I couldn't. "I just really need to see you. Where are you?" I asked him.

"I got your note and came to the school to look for you, then Robby made me help him with some crap for some pack. We ended up having lunch. I woke up with a killer headache and he gave me some stuff to help." He told me. So he did go looking for me. "That girl you heard. I swear I'm not haning out with other chicks babe, I promise. She just came in here while Robby and I were eating and...she-l-well I told her that I was taken like a million times. Its f*****g annoying." He rushed out.

"Bou it's okay. I heard what you said to her." I said with a small smile. My tears finally stopping. "I miss you so much." I whispered to him.

"I miss you too baby. Where are you?" He asked.

"In our room." I told him.

"Want to come back to the school? I can make you some lunch. Or we can go to town. Whatever you want." He said.

"Going to town would be great." I said. Staying far away from here until Black Water left would be great. "I'll be there in a few minutes." I told him.

"Alright baby. I love you." He told me.

I took a deep breath.

"I love you too Bou."