Alexander

Kayden's voice was, once again, the first thing I heard as I came to.

I peeled my dry eyes open and discovered I was in a dimly lit hospital room.

A machine was beeping beside me. My legs were big, formless lumps hidden under a flannel blanket. My hands, lying neatly at my sides, were wrapped in casts that encased my thumbs completely.

The curtains were drawn open on a window opposite where I lay, with my back propped up about half-way to sitting. My loyal Beta was the only other person in the room. He was holding his phone to his ear, standing silhouetted against the window with his back to

me.

Beyond him I could see that it was full dark outside.

Nighttime.

Fiona must be so, so worried. She had been expecting to hear from me hours ago.

"Okay," Kayden was saying quietly. "I'm so glad you're all alright. Fuck. What a day. Yeah, yeah. He's going to be okay, too. I'll tell you more later, Nina. Sounds like you've got your own things to deal with over there. Just take care of Fi and Lexi. Text me again before you go to sleep though, okay? Man, I can't believe all this..." He blew air from his mouth noisily.

And then he turned around and looked me right in the eye. I guess he'd suddenly sensed I was awake and watching him.

"I

I gotta go," Kayden said into the phone quickly, no longer muting his tone. "Alex is up, honey. I'll call you-back."

He hung up and rushed to my bedside. I didn't like the concerned look I was seeing in his eyes.

"What's going on?" I croaked, surprised to find my throat so dry. "Is Fiona okay? And Alexis?"

"They're okay, Alex. I'll tell you more in a second." He held a water bottle out in front of me, with the lid already removed. "Drink a little water first, okay?"

I hardly expected him to try to pour the water in my mouth for me next. As if he were feeding a bottle to a baby.

I reached up for the water bottle on impulse-I haven't sat back and let someone fucking hand-feed me since I was a baby, for Gods' sake-and managed to knock it out of both our hands, right down into my lap, and give: myself a nice sharp jab of pain in my broken thumb while I was at it. "Fucking shit," I growled, frustrated beyond belief.

This was not going to be fun. Recovering from so many broken bones in my hands. It was going to take some time, apparently, to even remember that they were so f****d up and stop myself from trying to do the simplest of shit.

Kayden helped mop up the water from my lap. I noticed... something strange. I couldn't really feel his movements, even though I could see with my eyes that he was touching my covered legs, albeit lightly. But... no, I couldn't even think about that yet, and also... "I heard you on the phone, Kayden. Did something happen with Fi and Lexi?"

"Yeah, okay. Something happened back home, Alex.

The girls are all alright though." He gulped.

"What happened? Fucking tell me, Kayden."

"There was a fire at the palace," he said, holding his palms up in surrender. "Fi and Lexi are okay, man.

Nina too. They all got out just fine, but your room, and the nursery... it's gone. Burned down. Fi's going to move all your guys' stuff over to the East Wing, once the fire area's cleared."

This had to be a bad dream. A fucking nightmare.

All I could do was try to wake up.

And repeat myself, I guess. "What the f**k happened!?"

"They say it was arson, Alex."

"What?"

Kayden clenched his teeth so hard that his jaw muscles twitched. "Yeah, man. They found a body. In the wall. In that cage you had installed in the secret passage to what used to be your office?" "Who." This came out like a command, not a question.

"Alex... Fi and Nina think that it was Iris."

My eyes slammed shut. And I felt like I fell down through the hospital bed, down through the floor, and down into and through the depths of the earth.

This is what regret feels like.

"What the fuck happened?" I growled again. "Where were our guys? How could this-"

Kayden held his palms up again and nodded at me calmly, communicating that he would tell me all he knew once I calmed down.

So I slowed my breathing and forced myself to calm down.

"They're really okay?"

"Yeah, Boss. They're all three of them safe, the girls and the baby. They're staying in that big, pretty room: that Fiona decorated and have lots of people looking over them right now. And our guys were right there when it happened. They were guarding your room, because Fiona had called them over. They were right there at the door and they got the ladies all to safety before the fire could endanger them."

The muscle-memory kind of impulse that rules mindless gestures of habit made me do something stupid. I went to run my hands down my face, like I guess I do a lot, especially when I'm stressed. But of course I was once more painfully reminded that my thumbs were broken, my fingers were broken and my hands were fixed into an awkward shape and encased in rock-hard plaster.

Basically, I punched myself in the face. I muttered out a string of curses and blinked against black spots that swarmed my vision. The pain was worst in a spot just below my eye. I'd probably just given myself a good bruise.

I heard Kayden taking some slow, shaky breaths in and out. He was anxious. He didn't know how to handle seeing me like this.

I wanted to ask more questions about the fire. I wanted to tell Kayden to call Fiona and put her on speakerphone. I wanted to tell my wife I loved her and I was so sorry for leaving her alone with someone so dangerous. But I didn't know where to begin.

And I looked down at my body. At my legs.

I saw in my peripheral vision that Kayden's eyes followed mine.

"Something else I gotta tell you, pal," my friend said.

His voice had gone quiet. I didn't like it.

"I, uh, I'll get the doctor to come in to explain it to you better in a minute. They'll be glad to know you re awake. But, let me brace you for this..."

"Stop beating around the bush, Kayden," I snapped viciously. "I don't like being handled with kid gloves.

What is it?"

Kayden rose to stand. "Lift your hands a little," he said coolly, clenching his jaw again.

I lifted my hands from my lap and my friend reached over and pulled down the flannel blanket that'd been covering me from the waist down.

Finally I saw what they'd done to my legs. Sort of.

They were completely covered in casts. All the way up to my pelvis.

"Fucking shit," I grumbled.

"Alex, it's gonna be a long recovery. Just about every bone was broken, Boss. I'm sorry. You were in pretty bad shape when we found you, but even I didn't know just how bad all the damage.." He stopped talking abruptly, perhaps realizing he'd begun to ramble, and jerked his eyes back up to meet mine.

"Am I going to walk again?" I asked, my voice flat and devoid of all affect.

"I think so," he answered unconvincingly. "They pieced you back together the best they could, Alex. I think it's a wait-and-see, really. And... rehabilitation.."

My hands drifted up to my face, but this time I stopped them an inch away. Goddamn, I wanted really badly just to wring my face in my hands right now. But I couldn't even do that.

I couldn't do a f*****g thing.

I have never in my life been so helpless. Never. Not since I was a f*****g baby.

This feeling of absolute powerlessness over my own body was a special kind of torture all its own. But coupled with the news about Fiona, about Iris?

I couldn't take it. I could not fucking take it.

I let my hands fall heavily to the bed, and screamed.

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