The Four Beta Brothers
Chapter 23

JUNIPER

Asher pressed his body into mine, and the mattress pressed into my back. I didn't know how we went from kissing in the middle of my room to making out on my bed.

He ran his hands up and down my sides, and then he pushed my shirt up a little. His touch was electrifying. Our legs intertwined with one another, and I got lost in his kisses. My skin was flushed, and I pushed into his touch, eager for more.

I didn't know if it was because my emotions were high from the day, but I just wanted to keep going. I wanted to get completely lost in Asher. I didn't usually move this fast with someone. We had only known each other for a few weeks, but it felt like so much more. Today was our first fight, but I felt closer to Asher. It was like the fight broke open our emotions, and I felt completely vulnerable. It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.

Asher was the first to pull back. He was breathless, and his chest heaved up and down. "We should stop," he whispered.

"We should stop," I mimicked, but I didn't share the sentiment.

When Asher's lips were on my body, it was the only thing I thought about. I didn't worry about what the principal had said, or Moira's friends shoving me to the ground. I didn't think about what I had to do to maintain my grades and get the title of valedictorian that I had been working for ever since my parents passed away.

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to my mouth again, desperate to shut my brain up. With my last boyfriend, it hadn't been like this. We had been intimate, but he had been the one pushing for it. It was fun and enjoyable. However, with Asher, it was all encompassing, and our clothes still covered our bodies.

Was this what it was like to find your mate?

My wolf seemed to growl at this passing thought. Every inch of my body felt eager for Asher, and I wanted him to have every part of me.

But when I kissed Asher, there was something else that pulled at me, too.

And Ethan invaded my thoughts, even as Asher invaded my mouth.

It didn't make sense.

The pull I felt couldn't have been the pull of a mate, because while I found myself drawn to the Burrell brothers, it was more of a fascination and a comfort-thing. Everyone said when one found their mate, it clicked the moment you touched the other werewolf. It was a clear spark.

With Asher, it was more like coals burning in the pit of my stomach, slowly warming my heart and my body.

Plus, mates were rare to find these days. It was more common in the past, because the werewolf population was small and condensed. Now, werewolves were spread out among different countries, and within each country, there were hundreds of werewolf packs. The sheer number of werewolves hiding among the human population made it significantly rarer to find one's mate.

My life was filled with back luck. I couldn't be one of the lucky ones to find my mate. Just because it was rare to find a mate, it didn't mean werewolves lived loveless lives. Many werewolves still found strong connections with other werewolves or sometimes even humans.

Some people even said it was a blessing to not find their mate. Being fated mates didn't mean the relationship was good or healthy. It also took the agency out of love. When someone was fated to another person, there was pressure for them to stay together. When there was no obligation to stay together, people were able to choose who they wanted, instead of working through a difference of personalities.

"Are you okay?" Asher asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

He shifted off of me and lay next to my side. He propped his head up with his hand. "You seemed to disappear for a moment. Where did you go?"

I thought about lying to him, telling him I was thinking about my day or something else. The subject of mates felt too serious for the level of intimacy we were sharing. However, after Asher's honesty earlier, I didn't want to lie to him.

"I was thinking about mates," I admitted.

Asher c****d his head to the side. "What made you think about that suddenly?"

I licked my lips, thinking about the best way to describe my thoughts to him. "I feel this pull to you, and it confuses me sometimes. I've known plenty of guys for longer, but I've never felt this kind of connection before. It makes me wonder if this is what it's like to find a mate, but it also doesn't feel like a mate bond."

I shook my head and leaned my head on my pillow, looking at the ceiling. "I probably sound crazy. I know I feel crazy."

Asher interlaced his fingers with mine and brought my hand to his lips. "You don't sound crazy. I don't think we're mates, but I do feel a strong connection with you-one I've never felt with anyone else before."

I turned and placed my hand on his chest. "If we both feel this connection, then how are you so sure we're not mates?"

He played with my fingers for a moment, not answering. The section of his forehead right above his nose crinkled together as he searched for his answer.

I reached forward and rubbed the skin, smoothing it over. He smiled at this gesture, and his eyes brightened as his answer came to him.

"What do you remember about your childhood?" he asked. His question came out of nowhere, but I trusted that he had a good reason for asking that.

"What part of my childhood?" I asked. The answer could either be really short or really long, depending on his answer.

"All of it."

I sucked in my lower lip, debating about where to start. "Well, when my parents were still alive, I remember moving around every few months. I don't remember exactly why. They always said it was because of their work, but I don't actually remember what they did for work. It was difficult to make friends moving that often, so I grew fond of studying. No matter what part of the country we moved to, school was the same, so it gave me a sense of stability.

"Then, after my parents died, Moira's family took me in. Her father is the alpha of the pack we lived in at the time, so I think he felt responsible for an orphaned wolf. They were nice to me. They always made sure I had food and clothes and whatever I needed, but I always felt like a guest in their house. They never treated me like their own child, which was fine."

"And what about before that?" Asher asked.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, still unable to figure out where this conversation was going. "Humor me?"

I took a deep breath, searching my memories for the answer he wanted. I frowned when my head came up empty. "I'm not sure. I remember moving around with my parents a lot, but before that... It's all just dark." I closed my eyes, trying to figure out why I couldn't remember my earlier years. "My earliest memory was when I was eight, I think? I remember being in a hospital, and everyone was talking around me. No one was talking to me. I don't remember why I was there, and I don't remember anything before that." "You don't remember anything?"

I shook my head. I hadn't thought about that part of my life in a long time. There were some faded memories of me asking my parents about it, but none of those memories had an answer in them. My early childhood was completely missing, and it didn't feel normal.

"No." My head started to hurt the more I tried to remember something. It felt like there was a huge brick wall I was slamming my head against repeatedly.

"June" Asher stopped talking as his phone started ringing. "Sorry. Give me a moment."

He pulled out his phone and his frown deepened. "What?" The voice on the other end of the phone was muffled. "Right now isn't a good time." Asher huffed through his nose. "Fine. Give me like thirty minutes...You can't just demand me to drop everything I'm doing because you need me... Fine. I'll be there in fifteen and not a moment sooner."

Asher hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket. He sat up, and the easy mood he had before was completely gone. There was only one person I knew who could sour his mood like that.

"Was that Ethan?" I asked.

Asher half laughed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Kind of, yeah." I climbed into Asher's lap and lazily draped my arms around his neck. "Do you really have to go?"

Asher placed his hands on my hips. "I wish I didn't."

I nodded, not wanting to make it harder for him to leave. "Just so you know, Ethan showed up at the principal's office and defended me. I was going to tell you earlier, but..."

"But I was an a*s," Asher finished.

"Yeah," I laughed. "I just didn't want you to hear it from him. I don't want you to think I'm keeping secrets from you."

"I don't think that, June. I know I said that earlier, and that wasn't fair of me. I trust you," he said.

I kissed him, and my anxiety from the day melted away. I didn't want Asher to leave. I wanted to stay in his arms for the rest of the night. "Before you go, there's something else. Nathan invited me to his game on Friday. I was hoping we could go together on a date." Asher ran his fingers up and down my back, spreading goosebumps over my body. "I wish I could, but apparently my father is coming into town Friday, and my presence is required. As soon as I'm free, we can hang out, though, if you want." "I'd like that," I said. I felt a little nervous about going to Nathan's game by myself, since I wasn't used to going to sports events, but after his help this morning, I wanted to go to his game to thank him.

"I really do have to get going, but there's one more thing," Asher said. "I want to have a party and invite the school. People respect the Burrell family, so if more people see you with me, it might help fix your reputation."

"A party?" I repeated. "When?"

"We'll talk about it more later, but I wanted you to think about it. Ethan suggested it-which I hate-but he usually has solid ideas."

"Okay, I'll think about it," I agreed, but I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of a party. If Ethan and Asher both thought it was a good idea, I couldn't bring myself to reject it without some serious consideration.

"I really do have to go. I'm sorry," Asher said. He kissed me like he wasn't leaving, and my entire body heated up. I wondered how difficult it would be to convince him to stay, but he pulled away and lifted me off his lap before I could come up with a plan. "I'll see you later, okay?"