The Four Beta Brothers
Chapter 43

JUNIPER

I raced after Asher, afraid of him getting too far away. If he left before I had a chance to talk to him, I didn't know what that would mean for the two of us.

Asher had gotten farther than I expected, but luckily he wasn't running.

"Asher!" I shouted, hoping to get him to stop. It wasn't easy running in heels. When he didn't respond, I shouted again, "Asher! Stop!"

"Just go back to the dance, June." He trudged on, not even taking a second to look back at me.

I picked up my pace and grabbed Asher's arm. "I'm not going back without you."

Asher spun, making me lose my grip, but he stopped walking. "Why do you care? Axel is there. Just go back to him and forget about me."

"What is your problem?" I snapped, unable to take another attack from Asher.

"My problem is the way you and Axel have been sneaking around behind my back. Moira showed me the video of you two at the mall on your little date. Don't act stupid." Asher ran his fingers through his hair. "Just tell me the truth. Do you love Axel?"

I should've known Moira was behind Asher's mood. She told me she was going to take everything away. I never thought she'd be able to convince Asher to turn against me. I thought he was on my side no matter what. That was what he said over and over, and I was starting to think I was the fool here for actually believing him.

"No," I said firmly. I cared about Axel deeply. I even loved having him as a friend, but I wasn't in love with him.

"Then do you love me?" he pressed. He stepped closer and hovered over me.

"What?" I wasn't expecting that question.

"I told you that I loved you, and you looked like you were going to be sick. And then I found out that you've been sneaking around with Axel behind my back."

"There is nothing going on between Axel and me. I went to the mall, just like I told you. We ran into each other, and he offered to help me find a dress. We were just two friends hanging out together. Nothing happened. I swear."

I should've told Asher about seeing Axel at the mall when it first happened. I had fully intended to, and then I just didn't. I never thought he would find out like that or get as upset as he did. This side of Asher was not one I recognized.

"If nothing happened, then why didn't you tell me he was there?" Asher asked. He wasn't going to just let this go.

"I don't know."

"Do you have feelings for him?" Asher's face was hard. His jaw was clenched, and he wasn't breathing as he waited for me to respond.

I knew if I told him that I had no feelings for Axel, this would all be over. However, I didn't want to lie to Asher's face. My feelings for Axel had been confusing and unexplainable, but they were there. My heart raced, knowing there was no good way to tell Asher how I truly felt.

"I feel this pull towards him," I admitted. "I don't know why, but it feels like there is some invisible string tying the two of us together. I didn't understand it at first, and I tried to fight it, but it's there."

"I see." That was all he said before he turned away and started walking again.

I grabbed him again and dug my feet into the ground to stop him. "But I also feel a pull towards you." My voice cracked and my eyes started to swell. I could feel Asher slipping through my fingers, and I didn't want to lose him. "And I chose you. I didn't choose Axel, because I wanted to be with you. You make me feel safe and loved."

"Why didn't you tell me what was going on? If you had just told me sooner-"

"Would that have changed anything? Asher, your jealousy gets the best of you. I wanted to spare you this pain. I didn't want to hurt you while I was figuring things out." I tightened my grip on him, afraid he would walk out of my life if I let him go.

"Did Axel know about your feelings for both of us?" Asher faced away, and his voice was quiet, making it nearly impossible to hear him.

"Yes." It felt like I hit the final nail in the coffin, but no matter how much it hurt, I wasn't going to lie to Asher.

His arm went limp under my touch. "So you trusted him to tell him the truth and not me?"

"It's not like that. I was just trying to protect you. I understand how this looks, Asher. I do, but I swear I never did anything with Axel after we started dating." My words felt like a hollow attempt. It felt like no matter what I said or did, it wouldn't be enough to get Asher to see that I wanted to be with him.

"After we started dating?" Asher turned and finally looked at me. "Does that mean something happened before we started dating?"

My hands went numb, and I dropped Asher's arm. It was over. The next words would seal our fate, and I couldn't think of a way around it. "Axel kissed me, but it was before we started dating."

Asher looked like he was going to be sick. "Was it before you met me?"

I shook my head. "It was the day after."

Asher laughed and shook his head. "You mean the same day I kissed you?"

"We weren't together then, and it never happened again. I didn't do anything wrong." I wasn't trying to defend myself, because that would mean I had betrayed Asher.

"You didn't tell me."

"You didn't tell me about all of the girls you kissed before we got together!" I said, my blood boiling at his accusation. "I understand that you wanted me to tell you about Axel, but you're getting mad at me for kissing someone before we had even gone on a date. You're getting mad that I haven't told you about every time I hung out with a friend. I don't owe you every second of my life or every thought in my head. I chose you. I want to be with you. Isn't that enough?"

I placed my hands at the back of my neck and dug my fingers into my muscles. I felt lost, like no matter what I did or said, it would never be enough for Axel.

"You say you chose me, but do you love me?" Asher asked. He cupped my cheek, and the touch was enough to soothe my pain for a moment, but it wasn't enough.

"If I told you that I loved you, would that be enough for you?" I asked. I hated how he was pressuring me to say those words. It was too soon, and there was a chance that I did feel that way, but I was confused. When I told him I loved him, I wanted to be absolutely sure for both of our sakes.

"I don't know."

"I can't tell you that. Not yet. If you just give me some time, I-"

"I don't know if I can do that, June. I love you so much that my heart feels like it's going to burst. Then to find out all of this stuff about Axel... " Asher let go of my face and took a step back.

"But I chose you." My voice cracked and my knees wobbled beneath me. It felt like if I took a single step, my legs would give out.

"I don't know if that's enough. I don't know if I can be with someone who has feelings for my brother."

"Are you breaking up with me?" My hands shook as the distance between Asher and I grew.

"I don't know. I need time," Asher said. "Tonight has been a lot. I need a moment to think by myself. Don't follow me this time."

He turned and walked away, and the cracks in my heart burst open. My vision went black on the edges, and my legs gave out. My knees slammed on the ground, but I didn't feel any physical pain, because my emotional grief was too much. I had never felt so broken in my entire life.

Except I had...

My head exploded with pain, and I doubled over, pressing my temples to try to stop the pain from making my head explode.

I didn't know what was going on, but the feeling of deja vu washed over me once again. I suddenly knew that I had lost someone I loved before, but it happened a long, long time ago-when my parents were still alive.

I couldn't remember who it was or how it happened, but I had known pain greater than the pain I felt from Asher walking away from me.

"Juniper? Juniper! What's going on? Are you hurt?"

I couldn't respond. All I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and hold my head.

"She's freezing. We have to get her inside."

"We can't take her back to the dorm. Asher's there."

"We'll take her to my apartment."

A warm jacket wrapped around my shoulders, and then strong hands picked me up. A soothing voice that I knew whispered in my ear, "It'll be okay, Juniper. We have you. Everything will be okay."