The Four Beta Brothers
Chapter 50

JUNIPER

Axel's hair dripped onto my hand, and it was the only noise that passed between us. He looked at my lips and then back at my eyes.

"I wanted to tell you so much more," Axel said. "I probably pushed it too far by even saying that much. If you had remembered everything because of me, then..."

"Then what?" I prompted. Ethan asked me for his trust about why they didn't tell me, and I agreed to put my faith in him. However, I ran out of his apartment before Ethan gave me any real details.

"Ethan would explain it better." Axel swallowed hard, and his throat bobbed up and down.

I put my hand on his and leaned in a little more. "Ethan's not here. You are. Just tell me."

Axel grabbed my hand, but he pulled away, clearing the air between us. "You were our best friend. Your parents worked for our father and the alpha, and because of the work they had to do, they were away for weeks at a time. You stayed with our family, because Alpha Williams felt it was the pack's responsibility to take care of you, since your parents were putting their lives on the line for us."

"What do you mean? My parents were just traveling real estate agents. They never even crossed the street without looking both ways." I couldn't imagine my sweet, caring parents doing anything dangerous.

"That's what they told you to protect you. You were too young to understand what they did," Axel explained.

"What did they really do then?" Part of me wanted to argue against Axel, tell him he was wrong. Bob and Crissa were just ordinary werewolves. They worked during the day and took me to the park on weekends. They helped me with homework. They loved me deeply and were perfect parents.

Axel shook his head. "Honestly, I still don't know that. All I know is that it was dangerous, and it was top secret."

"So if that's all true, then why did we leave? Ethan told me there was an accident that caused memory loss, but if our families were so close, then why leave?" I asked. I should've asked these questions when Ethan first told me what happened, but I was still processing everything with Asher, and my mind had been void of questions.

"Did Ethan tell you anything about the accident?" Axel said.

I shook my head. "Just what I told you."

Axel squeezed my hand, and his face hardened. He searched his memories for the truth. "That day is still burned in the back of my brain, even though every day I wished it would disappear. There were days I even felt jealous of your memory loss." He paused and looked down. "You've been through a lot today. I'll tell you if you really want to know, but it won't be easy to hear. Maybe you should get some sleep and see how you feel in the morning."

I sucked my lower lip into my mouth. I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know what kind of accident would cause the memory loss of my entire childhood before the accident. I wanted to know what was so terrible that my parents would leave and never come back.

But my body and mind were exhausted. I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing something that haunted Axel to this day.

"Tell me." The words spilled out of my mouth before I could change my mind. It was better to know the truth now, then find out later and regret it.

Axel searched my eyes for any signs that I didn't want to know. "Okay." He adjusted how he was sitting, which put him closer to me on the bed. "Your parents had been gone for over a week, which wasn't unusual. We didn't have school that day, but I can't remember if it was because of some sort of break or if it was the weekend. I don't remember the weather, either. Sometimes, when the memory hits, it was sunny that day, and other times, it was pouring rain.

"None of that matters, though," he said, realizing he was just delaying from the gritty part of the story. "What matters is Nathan was away that day at some sort of wolfball training camp, and the rest of us went outside to play. We were playing hide and go seek, and Ethan was the one who was supposed to find everyone. Asher and I ran off towards the treehouse we had built, and you ran off with..."

Axel looked away from me as if saying the next part was too hard for him to say while looking at me. "We used to have another brother."

"James," I gasped, flashes of my dream hitting me like a bird hitting a plane. Axel looked at me, so I explained, "I dreamed about him, but I didn't know who he was."

Axel nodded, but he didn't say anything right away. He couldn't say anything.

When he gathered himself again, he said, "You and James ran off to the river. I didn't see you after we broke off from you, but then Asher and I heard you scream. It ripped away a part of my soul, and we took off in a run to find you. We ran so fast, but it wasn't fast enough.

"Ethan was already there by the time we got there, and the river ran red with Jame's blood. There was so much blood, but Ethan had you cradled in his arms. When he saw us, he screamed at us to get help. I couldn't move, but Asher ran back towards the house. Our father was already on his way, so Asher's attempt to get help was futile, but I suspect Ethan tried to send us away to shield us from seeing James and you like that while he linked the pack for help.

"You were both taken to the pack doctor, but it was too late for James. Even with his regenerative abilities, he lost too much blood and his injuries were too extensive. You were in a coma for weeks, and I visited you every day. We all did, even Nathan. We loved you like blood, but when you woke up, you didn't remember any of us.

"That was the last time I saw you before your parents disappeared."

Axel's face was pale, and his eyes were distant. At some point during the story, he had let go of my hands and curled his fingers into fists. I smelled blood from where his nails punctured his skin.

"There's something else," Axel said.

My muscles were taut with anticipation. Finding out that James was real, and he had died in the same accident that caused my memory loss had already been a lot. I couldn't even think of what else there was to the story.

"We think James was your mate." Axel's voice was strained, and his gaze was fixed on his fists. He couldn't look at me. "Obviously there's no way to know for sure, but you two were glued to the hips. You loved us all, but the bond you had with James was something else."

I felt light-headed as the words sank in. I couldn't remember what James looked like. I couldn't remember the specific features of his face from my dream. I could only remember his turquoise eyes. I couldn't remember the sound of his laugh or the way his smile looked, yet he was supposed to be my mate.

"Are you sure?" I whispered. I didn't know how I should feel, knowing my potential mate was dead.

"No," Axel said quickly. "It's just an assumption, but all of us felt that way. No matter what we did, you always chose James."

I nodded, accepting that I would never be able to know whether or not James was actually my mate or if we just shared a special bond as children. Werewolves weren't supposed to find out who their mates were until their eighteenth birthday, and with how difficult it was to find a mate these days, the chances of finding a mate before your eighteenth birthday seemed like a million in one chance.

"What are you thinking?" Axel asked after I hadn't said anything for several minutes.

I grabbed my own fingers and started playing with them. I was thinking about too many things, so it was difficult to settle on just one thing.

"There's something I don't understand about all of this." I could accept that James was possibly my mate and that I loved all of the Burrell brothers. I could also accept that I lost my memory in an accident. But there was something gnawing at my insides. "Why couldn't any of you tell me all of this?"

Axel huffed and shook his head. "Believe me, that's something I've been asking since that day. Maybe Ethan knows, but he hasn't even told me the truth. All I know is that our father gave us an order to never find you and never speak to you again. Even with my rebellious tendencies, that wasn't something I could easily go against. When the beta of all werewolves gives an order, it's a serious thing."

"Then why did you tell me now?"

"Ethan told you first. It was like he lifted this weight off my chest, allowing me to speak freely. Plus, I couldn't stand not telling you anymore. It felt like I was lying to you all of this time for my personal gain. I was just so happy to see you again that I was willing to do almost anything, even if it meant keeping the past from you a secret. I'm not proud of it, though." Axel still couldn't look at me, and I couldn't tell if it was because he felt ashamed of keeping me in the dark or if describing his brother's death was too much for him. What I did know is it didn't change the way I felt about him. If anything, I felt even more drawn to him, and I just wanted to wipe his pain away.

I crawled over the bed to him, not caring when my towel fell away from my body. I cupped his cheeks and pressed my lips against his again.