The Four Beta Brothers
Chapter 64

JUNIPER

I was in a daze as I walked back to Ethan's apartment. I didn't want to leave Axel or Ethan. I didn't even want to leave Nathan. A part of me didn't want to leave Asher knowing we were on such rocky terms.

However, if what Beta Burrell said was true, then Axel was hurt because of some curse that was placed on me. I didn't want to believe it. It had to be a coincidence, but why else would Beta Burrell want me to leave?

"I can't leave in the middle of the semester," I had said in response. I still wasn't sure if I was going to do as Beta Burrell asked, but if he was speaking the truth and I ignored him, resulting in the death of Axel or one of his brothers... "The sooner you leave the better," he said calmly. If I was truly a curse that killed his son and nearly killed another, how did he speak to me so calmly?

"Can't I leave at the end of the semester? I could ask for a hiatus from school. Then I could come back and finish my degree when your sons are no longer here." The logical part of my brain was speaking, thinking about the logistics of leaving this life behind. My heart was screaming at me to stop even considering it.

"Do you think it's worth the risk?"

I hadn't responded to him. Part of me still didn't believe Beta Burrell. A curse placed upon me when I was a child to kill those who loved me if I was close to them? It sounded unreal and ridiculous. My parents would've told me if I was cursed. They wouldn't have stayed around me, knowing I'd cause their deaths.

There had to be another explanation. I just didn't know what kind of explanation. Maybe Ethan would know more. He told me there were reasons he couldn't tell me about my childhood sooner. Axel confirmed there was a reason, saying that Ethan would explain it better. In the chaos of Axel being shot and the discovery of wolf hunters, I hadn't had a chance to talk to Ethan about everything.

I hardly had any time to think about all of it.

Beta Burrell showing up forced me to think about it again. He forced me to face the real possibility that Axel was injured because he had grown close to me.

But Asher hadn't been hurting during the time we were dating.

My head hurt, thinking over everything. I didn't know what to think of Beta Burrell's words. I didn't know if I should believe him. I didn't know if I should stick around, in case I was truly cursed.

I opened the door to Ethan's apartment without thinking. What did it matter if I knocked or didn't knock when there were so many other concerns?

"Axel?" I called out, wanting to be in his arms more than ever. Even if he didn't have the answers I was looking for, his touch would settle my racing mind.

There was no answer, so I checked the bedroom, thinking maybe he had taken a nap. When he wasn't there either, I checked my phone to see if he had messaged me. I hadn't even thought about checking my phone while I was with Beta Burrell, but it didn't matter. There were no new messages.

"Axel?" I called out a little louder, searching the rest of the apartment. When I made it to the kitchen, I saw his feet peeking out from behind the counter. I rushed to his side, shouting his name.

His eyelashes fluttered on his unconscious face. He was on his side, his body struggling with each breath.

"Axel," I said again, feeling his forehead. He was burning up. He must have pushed himself too hard earlier. I shouldn't have let him come. I should've stayed home with him to stop him from even trying.

***

"He'll be okay if he rests," the doctor said, eyeing me. Every word that came out of his mouth was polite, but I felt his annoyance oozing from every unspoken action he took. He blamed me for Axel's condition. "Call me if he gets any worse." "Thank you," Nathan said. He shook the doctor's hand and walked him out of the apartment.

I hardly said anything after I explained what happened and how I found Axel. Luckily, Nathan did most of the speaking, assuring the doctor Axel wouldn't be getting out of bed for several days, even if it meant tying him to the bed.

Once the doctor was gone, Nathan approached me. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"I had breakfast," I said numbly.

"Anything since?"

I thought of the untouched coffee Beta Burrell bought me. "No."

I highly recommend you keep this conversation between you and me, Beta Burrell said as I left his limo. There was no reason to keep the conversation a secret, except he had used his beta energy to pressure me. Even thinking about telling Nathan that I spoke to his father made the pressure in my chest increase.

"I'll make you lunch," Nathan offered.

I followed Nathan out of Ethan's room, where Axel slept more soundly after the doctor gave him medication. I stopped by the counter as Nathan searched the cupboards for the tools he needed to cook food. It was strange watching him flit about the room. Something about him felt older today. It was like he knew he needed to step up to take charge while the rest of his brothers were preoccupied in one way or another.

He made two simple grilled cheese sandwiches and then brought them to the table, motioning for me to join him. "I added mayo, just like you like."

I did like mayo on my grilled cheese sandwiches, but I also knew I had never said as much to Nathan, which meant he remembered this from my childhood.

"I don't feel hungry right now, but thank you." I knew I should've felt hungry, but when my mind was too full, food was the last thing on my mind.

"You should try eating just a few bites." His eyes wandered over my face, his eyes calm like a sunny island beach. "Axel's injury isn't your fault," Nathan finally said, as if he could read my mind.

"How can you say that confidently?" I wanted desperately to believe Axel wasn't injured because of me, but when I saw him lying on the kitchen floor in pain, Beta Burrell's words rang in my head like a heavy truth.

"You didn't pull the trigger. You didn't force him to walk with you," Nathan said. "It's not your fault that he's hurt."

It sounded so simple when Nathan put it that way, but it didn't feel that simple.

"What if I'm cursed? What if just being around other people causes them harm?" I asked, knowing I probably sounded crazy.

"Juny, don't be ridiculous. You're not cursed. I know finding out about James and then seeing Axel get shot has been a lot, but you're not cursed. It's just bad luck." Nathan touched my hand, trying to comfort me, but it made me want to pull back. His words didn't convince me. Bad luck wasn't a good enough explanation as to why everyone around me kept getting hurt.

I didn't pull back, and I didn't say the words in my head. I knew what I had to do, and there was nothing Nathan or anyone else could say to make me feel better, so instead, I put on the best smile I could.

"Thank you." I took a bite of the food, ignoring the tightness in my stomach.

***

Nathan left for wolfball practice, and I didn't leave Axel's side. I hadn't been to class at all this week, which was unlike me, but I couldn't get myself to leave Axel while he was injured. I regretted even leaving him for the time it took to finish moving into my new dorm and have coffee with Beta Burrell.

If I had left when it was clear Axel wasn't doing well, I wouldn't have been outside of Ethan's apartment. Beta Burrell wouldn't have planted seeds in my head.

The what ifs didn't matter in the end. Everything had already happened, and there was no changing the past. There was only moving forward, knowing what I had to do to protect everyone around me, knowing I had to leave the brothers to protect them until I knew if this curse was real or not.

I placed a damp cloth on Axel's head, doing my best to break his fever. I studied his face, wanting to memorize every detail, so I never forgot him again. I had time before I had to leave, or at least I was giving myself time. There were too many moving parts I had to figure out before I left this life behind, and I planned on treasuring every moment I had left with Axel while I still had it.

I couldn't tell him or anyone else about what I planned on doing. They would never agree to it. They would either tell me this curse didn't exist, or they would say it was worth the risk. I wasn't sure which version would be worse, but I knew it would be nearly impossible to leave if Axel asked me to stay.

Even as I thought about leaving him, tears threatened my eyes. I didn't want to leave him-not when everything with him was so new and undefined. Not when he nearly sacrificed himself to save me.

That was exactly why I had to leave, though. He risked his life for mine. I could risk my happiness for his.