The Mates of Monsters
Chapter 59

We stare at one another in an instant of restraint; a blink of time to assess and decide and realize neither one of us has the will to hold off.

I reach up and kiss him, resting my hand on his cheek and feeling the water smear between our mouths. I give him a taste of the joys of the storm, and he seems convinced when I pull away. I silently beckon him from the shelter of the house and draw him into the trees like a water nymph luring in her prey. The canopy shields some of the rain, but it drips from every leaf and down David's alluring face, obeying his features and making my heart electrify. I spin to face him, and he backs me against a tree not waiting another second before continuing what I started. I push up against the bark and melt as he kisses me deeply.

He invades my mouth with primal urgency, and I feed into his domination, selfishly wanting to know how much control we can lose. His hands grip and his fingers press into my waist, sliding up and scrunching my drenched shirt. I draw from our kiss just to say, "I want you," and he breathes, millimeters away.

"I want you, David. Now," I plead, my body eager to reach the final rung.

The space between us grows as he leans back. He looks over my face, not in search of honesty but, rather, admiration. He doesn't have a decision to make; he knows exactly what he is and is not going to do, and making love to me-I can see it is not going to happen. I gaze down at our feet and swallow, wondering why. "Is...something wrong?" I ask, willing to expose myself.

David picks up my gaze. "Nothing is wrong."

"Then why haven't we-I don't understand."

I thought we've opened this door. So much of our time together went to waste due to my denial, and I don't want to wait-my mind and my body burn for him in tandem. There is no siding with one or the other. David gives me even more space. He takes a step back.

"If it's about children," I say, stepping from the tree, "then you should know I don't feel any pressure. Everyone thinks I should be wary, but I'm not. W-We can let whatever happens, happen."

He tears his eyes away, and I watch as his desire is consumed by distress. I take more steps toward him, but he tenses when my hand brushes his arm. "Don't you like what we do?"

"I love what you do to me," I assure him. "But I want you to enjoy yourself too."

"I enjoy myself, Brigette."

"You know what I mean. It's just confusing because you'll be with other women but not me?"

David stares into my eyes. "It's not the same. You're "

"You're right; it isn't the same. I'm your mate. I'm who you're supposed to want. Don't you want me...as much as I want you?"

"You know I do," he says on edge, moving back to me, bringing me against the tree. "I told you how difficult it is to stay in control with you. I meant it when I said I've never wanted something more."

Still uncertain, I remain silent. David takes my hand and rests it against him, against the full extent of his want for me, turning my body molten. My heart burns so hot that it's begging to be torn out, and I squeeze my legs together to ease this desperation from devouring me entirely. I bite my lip hard and try to contain myself when he releases me.

"Now do you understand?" He asks, his voice as dark as the sky. He wipes the rain and torment from his face, then he says things plain and simple, "I don't want you having children."

The only thing I can manage to say is, "Ever?"

The rain does not lighten and neither do our words. We spiral, falling victim to the dramatics of our surroundings and the intensity of our hearts.

"I see what it does to the other Lunas. The alpha children-they drain you. They aren't fit for people who aren't of the blood themselves. I saw it happen to my mother when she kept trying; it's brutal. It isn't right.

"Women like Luna Papadopoulos-she comes from the bloodline. Her father was an Alpha. That's how she survived so many children."

"B-But you said the old bloodlines have a lot of children so they never die."

"The old bloodlines have seen many Lunas, many of Alpha blood, many like my mother, like you. When there was a Luna capable of baring many children, they took advantage."

I peer away, now tired of the rain, bothered by its complete hold of my body-the way it traces every inch. "So what? You feel bad for me?"

"I don't want you to suffer."

"You don't really have a choice, David. I-I don't care if it's hard-I know what I have to do, and you know it too. This bloodline isn't dying because of me. I don't care when, but I'm having your child." Crossing his arms, he says, "We will be taking precautions, using protection."

"For now," I specify. "Because this is bigger than the both of us. This is about the pack, and for once I can't believe I'm more concerned for it than you are."

I make my move to leave, but he grabs me. "Don't act like you don't know."

My brows furrow as my lips purse.

"This pack is nothing to me without you," he admits. "And I won't lose you like my father lost my mother."

And one thing is made clear to me: David is just as afraid of my death as I am of his.