The Mates of Monsters
Chapter 70

The bed shifts and the blankets rise as he stands, but his footsteps don't carry out the doors-they haven't been so cruel since Nicodra's demise. Instead, he comes around the bed and sits where I'm laying, easing himself down to envelope me. "Don't," I say when he tries

to bring me against him. I crawl off the bed the opposite way and begin to gather my clothes strewn about the floor.

"I apologize, Brigette."

I forget my damp panties and grab a fresh pair from my drawer in the dresser that we replaced the cracked one with. "What for?" I mutter, stepping into the new underwear and promptly strapping on my bra. He watches. "I know this is stressful-"

"It is, but it isn't when you're desperate to have me and we're making love. It isn't when I'm with Helena and she's happy for us. It's stressful when you finish inside of me and then shame me for liking it." His eyes darken. "I don't mean to shame you."

"Well, that's what you're doing when you go on about needing to stop. Like what we're doing is so wrong. If you don't want this then open the drawer and put them on, but don't blame me when you decide you'd rather not."

My words are cold, venomous, like an injured scorpion stinging as a last resort. He's working to stay calm-I can see it-he'd much rather explode into that Alpha energy. David runs a hand down his face and says, "I can't control myself anymore." "Then maybe we need to take a breather. I can-I can stay in one of the guest houses for a few days."

David frowns. "No. You could be pregnant. You're not staying anywhere alone.

"I'll be leaving at the end of the month for Germany anyway."

"I don't think that's-"

"David," I warn, "I swear to the goddess don't finish that sentence because I'm going. Jeremy and I have been preparing for weeks."

He sits against the headboard, his arms crossed. "I know you want to go, but you won't be if you're pregnant. I'm sorry, but I won't have you across the world in that condition."

My face flushes with heat and my eyes sheen over with threatening distress. "Why are you punishing me?"

"It's not a punishment," he clarifies, standing.

"Yes. It is. You'd be punishing me for carrying your child. Do you even try to understand how deeply it hurts me to hear these things from you? You're right, I could be pregnant, and it kills me knowing that you don't want it."

"I never said that," he retaliates, coming before me. "I said I didn't want you to struggle because of it."

"So you would want it? If I am pregnant right now, you wouldn't be upset?"

"You think I wouldn't want our baby?"

I withhold my pain, trying to maintain the hardness on my face. "Yes. I do."

David, on his last bit of restraint, says, "You think I'm a monster?"

"No. I don't. I think you're scared. I am too, but I know I can do it."

He takes a breath.

"Just like you told me before you went to participate in that stupid rite. You may think otherwise, but I could do it. And I don't want you to resent me for fighting if I have to. I'm going to Germany no matter what-Aurora needs this proposition to pass; the Lunas need it to pass."

"If you're pregnant, I'm coming with you," he decides suddenly, and despite my raised defenses, I have nothing to argue back.

I hold my breath and step into my jeans, looking at the wood floor as I tug them up and secure the button. I can feel his gaze on my stomach. "That's fine," I say, pulling on my shirt, blocking his view. "Let's just try to regain some semblance until then."

David nears. I can't help but look at his beautiful face. I'm against his chest in a heartbeat, and I snake my arms around his waist, moving slow. He holds the back of my head with his hand. "We're overwhelmed," he says quietly, "but please, don't for one second think that I wouldn't want... I would love our child as much as I love you."

My eyes close as I savor the much-needed peace. His scent pacifies my impending outburst, and I'm sure my own does the same for him in return.

"I won't."

He strokes my hair. "I need you to be alright."

"I will be," I whisper. "I know you don't want me to hurt, but I really think you're painting it out to be more frightening than it is. You grew up seeing your mother in a constant battle, and I'm sure that was terrible, but my situation might be different than hers. I mean, Aurora isn't Alpha blood and she seems to be doing okay. I spoke with her just last week and she's breezing into her second trimester."

David holds me tighter, his nose pressing into my scalp.

"Let's just try to worry about it less, okay? It could be months-years even, if that's what we want. It could still be in our control. We should know before Germany, and if my period doesn't come by then, I'll see the doctor." He tells me, "Okay," but his arms don't ease up.

I move my hands in nurturing circles against his back. I tilt my head to look up at his face, and he lets me, allowing me to see his self-inflicted torment. My heart breaks. "David," I say softly, "I won't let anything bad happen."

He takes a deeper breath in. "Promise me, Brigette."

My voice cracks when I say, "I promise."

I rest my head on his broad shoulder, staring at his neck, letting him keep me for as long as he needs. Besides, I know I need it too. His promise to love our maybe baby makes me feel much better about all of it. The only thing I have to conquer now is whether or not I'm going to be pregnant for the next nine months, and within the next week and a half, I will.

I don't know whether or not I'll be disappointed, but I'll face the truth with my head held high, or at least, I'll try to.

I love David, but a part of me is still too indifferent to tell him that the idea of being pregnant excites me. I know I sound naive, like a young girl romanticizing, but my feelings for him have always felt like something crafted beyond my years. I look at him and I see a love better suited for oblivion rather than the finite nature of my life.

"If when we die, we live again... I'll find you," David says.

My eyes close. He's mine.

Now, before, and after. Anywhere we belong together.

"I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever."