The Secret Island
CHAPTER 52: It’s Complicated

Martin opened the curtain to admire the view of the London skyline. He booked a five stars hotel in the middle of the city. He planned to stay here until he had more idea of the direction of his life. It could be weeks or months. He sighed at his predicament. The sun slowly rose. It was almost autumn, and he couldn't imagine the UK to be this sunny. A gentle ray of light shone on buildings in the city that were strangers to him. He stared into the distance and reminisced. Everything that happened pained his heart to even think about, but worse yet-he became a person that lived without purpose.

This was the first time in his life he had lived without a plan. The complicated past had ended, but his thoughts circled back to his mistakes, always. He started to find it boring; he found his fear boring, his nightmares boring, and he wanted to do everything to get out of it.

He did discuss this with his therapist in detail, and nothing came out of it. He came to an understanding that it was an answer he had to seek for himself. Finding goals within the emptiness of life. He felt like a college kid looking for a gap year to find the meaning of life again. Martin couldn't believe this was his life. Such a clique. Such a boring clique.

Martin thanked Joe for bringing all the evidence to the FBI and arresting all the partners within the company. And with the deal to release him in exchange for the partners' conviction. A lot of damage was done along the way, but eventually, he had his freedom. Still, he lived in dark and twisted uncertainty with no way out.

He talked to Joe before leaving for the UK. His friend was supportive, as expected. He left his condo's keys with him. The man needed to get out of his house after a big fight with his father. Martin was not living there anyway since he planned to be in London for an unforeseeable future. So, he gave the place to Joe for a while. Martin trusted him. He had only one friend left, and despite our differences, Joe did come through for him.

Before all the fiascos, he did everything his family and communities around him said he should do-studying hard, attending the top school, and working in a high-earning job. But after everything shattered into pieces, Martin couldn't understand the purpose of living at all. There was no clear pathway he could follow. There were times he thought of ending his life to end all this. The same question of purpose had no answer, and no one could answer it-he thought of running away from it all.

He hoped it was not too late. He went along with the serendipitous flow that his life took him. There was nothing to lose and although he was afraid of living again, coming here was the risk that he was happy to take.

Other prisoners called him a fallen angel-then they slowly plucked his wings... one at a time... one at a time. Martin understood too well why he was despised by others.

He worked on Wall Street and benefited the most in times of financial crisis. When the graphs dipped red, his company still made a profit. He still made a profit. He just knew how the games work.

Some activities were questionable at best and criminal at worse. And the impact on society was immense. All the schemes and deals that the public was unaware of had impacted millions. And he knew his company had some part in that. He got rich on the suffering and work of the working people. They were taken advantage of and got paid a fraction of what the financiers got. Meanwhile, some of his colleagues pocketed one day's pay that was more than an average earner's annual salary. The economic structure was broken, and he just got lucky to be on the side that benefited from it. He felt the guilt, but he didn't know what he could do.

Once other prisoners found out where he worked and his reason for the sentence, they saw him as being worse than vermin-a leech to society was what he was called. And the experiences he had woke him up in the middle of the night most days. Some days his nightmares got worse, and some days he got better. The experiences left him with a deep distrust of anyone, almost everyone, except that woman...the woman he loved with his whole heart.

She represented beautiful things in this world that he had never experienced. She never wanted anything from him other than his time. With her, he didn't feel the pressure of having to strive to be the best-something he was not used to as a person who strived to always be number one in everything; he lived in a world of competition-but Celine expected nothing of him. He never said he loved her until recently. But she waited for him anyway even though he asked her not to. She sacrificed those four years for someone like him. He, who was so unworthy of her love. All Celine did was enough for him to dedicate all his time to being the best for her. Only her.

He was tired from the long flight, but he had a goal to achieve. One and only goal-he had to do anything to make Celine happy and forgive him.

She gave him her office location. She didn't want him to show up that much, but she handed him her name card when he asked anyway. He looked at the handwriting of her personal phone number on the card and smiled. Apparently, the CEO had two phone numbers, and she gave him a private one. Martin smiled. Her slight inclination to see him again renew his hope.

He would try his best, and this time he hoped he succeed.