The Secret Island
CHAPTER 58: The Permission

The hopeless four years Celine had waited and waited for someone she dearly loved had changed her. And once he was right here, sleeping here in her arms, his face revealed dark, mysterious misery from his memories-his untold past she didn't understand. Suddenly, Celine understood that despite what he did, she was now being selfish and mean.

The only thing she did was wait.

She waited while he went back to fight an unnamed demon in the hell she didn't understand. All she did was wait...and he had to face a million hurtful experiences he refused to retell.

Although he didn't choose to come back as he promised and not as soon as possible, he did say he loved her. He hugged her that day we reunited, and he confessed his love to her, didn't he?

Although he didn't come back, he was here now, didn't he? He sat and waited on her day after day, waiting for her to turn in his direction and care for him for just a little, smile at him a little-that was all he asked for... But she didn't do that...

The man in her embrace started to stir. She might hug him too tight for comfort. Martin slowly opened his eyes. He was taken aback to see her but didn't say a thing. Tears trickled down her face as she looked into his eyes. They were deeply forlorn and lost.

His hand shifted to pat her hair to comfort her. He was uneased seeing her cry. His movement was slow at first, as if he wasn't sure he had the right to touch her. And that thought made her cry harder.

"What happened? What upset you? What can I do for you?" Martin asked with concern. His face was filled with worry. Once she saw the concern written on his face, she quickly shook her head to deny the questions. Nothing happened to her, and no one did anything, and yes, he shouldn't do anything else for her. We should all make amends and move on.

"Martin, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry...sorry...." She apologized to him repeatedly as if she was a broken record.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying? Surely, something must happen. Why are you crying...." His shaky hand slowly wiped away her tears. Martin had always been kind, way too kind that she felt guilty. No matter what he had been through, no matter what she did to hurt his feeling, he was always kind to her and caring for her like this...

"I'm sorry, Martin, I'm really sorry." Her guilt was a sharp thorn that pierced her heart. She once told him she loved him but didn't get a chance to prove it. Even now, she didn't show it in any way, she only played these games with no end in sight, and no one could win. No proper conversation was exchanged between us, and she hoped things might change.

"What are you apologizing to me for? You didn't do anything wrong." She shook her head. He was like this again-taking all the blame on himself.

Celine looked deep into those eyes that cared deeply for her and questioned herself about her past actions towards him. Some were justified in her opinion, but she knew that she was overreacting to some events and expected nothing but chaos. Why didn't I talk to him and truly ask what had happened? What was the obstacle that we couldn't be what we used to be, although my heart only calls out to him? No matter how long time had passed, she could only think of him... If she could answer her own questions, Celine had to accept that the reason behind her actions in the past few days was a disappointment that cut so deep and shredded her expectations of our potentially beautiful life together. And her ego. Oh, how she had an ego.

"It is my fault I ignored you and upset you."

"It is my fault I didn't listen to you at all."

"It is my fault that although you have returned, I still let the time passes as if nothing has changed. It is my fault...."

He still tried to comfort me, and we hugged each other tightly. She could sense that he was thinking of something and trying to come up with a word. Martin was a man that thought before he said something, crafting his words to be as precise as possible. In the end, he concluded that it was not her fault.

"...But I didn't tell you anything, didn't I? Please don't blame yourself. Please, no, don't cry again, don't cry." He still tried to wipe away the tears on her face that didn't seem to stop flowing.

"...You don't need to tell me if you are not ready. Enough already for all this, Martin, enough of trying to tell me what happened if you are not ready. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't like anymore...."

He tried to tell her to stop crying, but his eyes reflecting concerns could not stop her tears and the deep sadness she felt.

He had faced so much untold pain in his life, and although she didn't understand the whole picture of what happened, her next step forwards was clear.

Celine reached out to touch his handsome face, which had become so frail. In the past few days, although she tried to ignore him, she knew with just a quick glance that he didn't take good care of himself. There was a lot we had to discuss and understand each other, but for now, we had each other.

"Let's begin again. We don't have to pick up where we left off. I mean, for us, let's begin again." She said that with absolute certainty.

Once Martin heard that his sad gaze changed. His gaze softened. His eyes shone brighter with something similar to hope. He bowed his head and touched his forehead to hers. And he answered the phrase that was so familiar in her memories. "You are the suborn one. No matter what I say, it doesn't matter anyway, isn't it?" A bit of playful, sarcastic jibe made her smile. She could feel we could really begin again.

All her tears dried up, and she started to smile, and she told him.

"From now on, don't disappear without telling me anything, okay?" "Of course..."

"When you come to the office tomorrow, don't sit outside anymore, alright? Come to my office and sit here. I will tell Kathy to let you in if I'm not around." She said with great authority, and that made him smile. "Noted, ma'am."

"From now on, we will have lunch and dinner together. Please stop fasting. You are already so thin." Again, he nodded in agreement.

Her sudden change of demeanor confused Martin.

"Hmm...Celine..."

"What?" She answered curtly, as it was her habit of doing so.

"So, does this mean we are back together?" He was still that kind of man that needed absolute certainty from her and didn't read between the lines. Once things were already better, she took time to make him a bit confused, just for fun. "No, not really." He frowned in confusion. He was so straightforward and didn't understand a thing.

"We are not back together...." Although that was her answer, Celine moved closer to end all protests from him with her lips. His thin lips trembled slightly with her touch. He was so surprised that he didn't move a muscle or kiss her back as if he was an innocent party in this kiss.

It wasn't until she moved even closer and deepened the kiss that he found his conscient. His hands cupped her face, and he returned the kiss slowly, gently, and filled with all the unexpressed feelings of the past years.

The familiar touch had never changed from what she remembered. He made her feel like a girl with her first kiss. No one could blame her for feeling as such-since this was the kiss that erased all her loneliness; the first kiss in the four long years...