The Secret Island
Chapter 82: Her Dream

It shouldn't be that bad...

Yesterday's anger and frustration were a sudden temper that was too intense for Martin to comprehend. He tried to understand everything that had just happened.

His psychiatrist once said that self-encouragement and positive thinking are hard to muster up by oneself. But he could train himself to think of something positive every day. Emotions can be controlled if he trains himself regularly. Still, those dark thoughts emerged again and again with just a small stimulus. With just a few words, he was triggered.

And once he realized that everything he had tried to improve himself still wasn't good enough and that the sins he committed would stay with him until the end of days, Martin went back to his usual routine-the vicious cycle of negative thoughts. There was no future, but the only dark past that still haunts him and the thoughts that were all he could be, a broken man. There was no way out. No one in the professional world and no one could accept him as he was. And worst, he would disappoint her.

He was afraid that he would disappoint Celine.

Compared to her, who had everything, he had nothing. Nothing at all.

Although Celine gave him encouragement every time she got a chance, it didn't work when Martin himself didn't believe in those words.

He was ready to give up all hope, but when she was here, when she was hugging him this tightly and crying in his arms, when she was begging him to tell her what was wrong when all this happened all at once, he wanted to know that one

answer.

"...One day... the day that I might be just this... this failure of a man... Will you still love me?"

Will she still love him?

Because in the future that he could not even envision or even today, he would say...no...a failed man like him does not deserve light. Did he deserve anything?

Celine is still looking into his eyes. Her confused gaze turned determined. He could feel her determination to get an answer out of him.

Celine released her hold on him and took a step back. She took his hand and pulled him towards the sofa near the window. Hmm?

It was now the time when the sun had risen from the horizon, but the dark, rain-like sky made the whole city look gloomy.

"... Martin, do you still remember the perfect moment you told me?" Celine asked him softly as we sat side-by-side. He nodded. In a short period of time, his mind thought of the moment in the future he imagined and told her at a restaurant we went to a few months ago.

"You told me... that it all began on a simple morning... we both woke up in our home somewhere upcountry..."

Her voice shook slightly when she told him.

"... You told me... that day you told me that... when you wake up and look to your side, I would be right there beside you. And then you would wake me up with a kiss."

She lifted his hand up and kissed it.

He could feel her lips tremble.

"Martin... that sleepy girl you've imagined sleeping next to you in that dream... she loves you. Do you know that?"

He didn't know what to reply. All his emotions were pent up in his chest, and he could barely breathe. He couldn't say anything.

"... You have also told me that... after that... we can both watch the sunrise together...."

She stopped talking and turned to look at the sun that was now hidden behind the thick clouds. Celine paused for a moment to gather words to describe her emotions. At that instance, the rain began to pour down.

She slowly smiled despite her tears. Her other hand lifted up to caress his cheek. She said the words that brought him to tears again.

She said the words he once told her, but now she said them back to him in her own words.

"... It's okay... even though it is raining, we will be okay because I see you as the sun, you are my light... it doesn't matter if it rains... Don't you think so? It doesn't matter at all..."

The sound of the heavy rain did not distract him from appreciating the beauty of her eyes and getting lost in her soul.

Maybe because of her sweet words, maybe because of her kind eyes, or maybe because of her soft hand that gently wiped away his tears...

Martin smiled.

No matter what happened yesterday or what happened in the past, no matter who had rejected him or how the world viewed his sins and his past, and it also didn't matter if all the bad memories would always stay with him, now he knew that Celine wouldn't mind-he knew for a fact that the woman he loved will always be by his side. He knew for sure once he looked into Celine's eyes and smiled sweetly at her, the smile that he reserved only for her, and his reward was the answer he had asked for...

"Don't blame me if I sound too delusional... because in the future, no matter who you will be, and in a time like this when we are together like this... that is already my idea of a perfect moment."

Martin chuckled softly with tears in his eyes. Celine answered him with his own story.

And she didn't stop there. More to what he once told Celine, she added a vision of her own to our future.

"No matter how many years have passed and no matter how many years from now, I will always love you." "We might have a dog..."

"And we can go walk along the beach..."

"You might even tell me about all those books you love to read...."

Celine's eyesight had softened. Two hands raised to cover her cheeks.

She made him smile wider as she thought of the picture. And even now... her hands cradled his face. She looked into his eyes.

"Don't use the word 'failure'... because no matter if it is now or in the future... you are and never be a failure to be."

"Because you will be so much more... you will be my light and joy and someone I want to spend the rest of my life with."