The Secret Island
CHAPTER 86: Because You Are, I Am

Martin was on the balcony of his condo and staring into the bright blue sky that was considered rare for London. Once he got a chance to confess what happened and explain everything that he faced in life, he felt as if the grey clouds that surrounded him were disappearing.

Celine told him she wanted to spend time with him all day, but her business was expanding, and she had meeting after meeting and not to mention the documents she had to review. Even though he wanted her to stay with him all day, he was the one that asked her to go to work as initially planned. He had no business disturbing her work schedule. Celine was an executive and had responsibilities to take care of. She had no time for this.

Martin was still confused over what had just happened. His brain returned to the event that took place earlier this morning. His hand kept massaging his temple and his eyes fixated on the vast blue sky.

Martin abruptly ceased all movement when he finally realized that he had told Celine everything that had happened. He didn't plan for it to be this messy. He just wanted to tell her what happened calmly and as civil as possible, but emotions were difficult to control, even for him.

"Everything had passed." He whispered what he remembered she said that.

"If you can't forget those memories, then let's fill in more happy memories so they eclipse those nightmares."

That was what she said. And he smiled at that.

Today was the day that his world changed...

The sky was brighter, and the air was cleaner. He could smile wilder without trying. One reason for this was the fact that he started to change his mindset about his life.

Martin had this one believed he had held on to since he was a kid. He had to be the best, the best student, the best employee, and the best in everything he did. He needed to be outstanding, he needed to be the one people admired, he couldn't fail, he couldn't be weak, and he must not rely on anyone. His success must be made by himself and his plan.

That belief was based on his dream of moving closer towards success by himself, his brain, and his two hands. He believed he could do it with his own effort.

Martin closed his eyes and looked back to the old times.

Way back then, when he was at the peak of his success when all his dreams came true, when he thought he had everything he ever wanted. When he thought he had everything under control with money and power that he had. But at that time, he felt so empty...

Everything was so empty.

One day... he was sitting on his expensive sofa in his millions dollar New York condo and could only think that... This is it? Everything that he had been pursuing all his life. In the end, this is it?

Especially that day that he witnessed the impact of what he had done and what had been a part of, the thought of him destroying the happiness and liveliness of countless lives he could never know just to prove his ability-it was as if he walked over his misery to climb further in the corporate ladder. The guilt ate him alive, and at that time, he knew he needed to do something to get rid of his sins.

Every time he thought of his sins, it was as if he walked down the peak of success one step at a time... the guilt pushed him down that peak of success one at a time.

And then the lawsuit pushed down his head to the ground, and what happened in prison further stumbled and broke everything he was.

He tumbled and fell. It hurt, and I was too terrified to live a full life. But all those physical pains were not met by the insults from the people he loved and adored. That faithful day was the day that any compliment he ever received was a fickle of memories too far in the past, and the insults were too clear in his mind. That day was the day he believed that hell was real.

Their disappointed and hateful eyes were like a burning fire

Their condemnations pierce through his heart like the verdicts of the devil.

And the endless sense of guilt and emptiness over his mistakes was the punishment received.

Everything was a nightmare. Everything happened over and over again, and it could never end. He thought it was his fate to endure this pain until the end of his life.

That was what he thought... until that day...

The day that he was accepted and understood... by her.

She knew him well and accepted him as he was.

To know that he still had so much to give and to love. And it was a gift from god to know that she loved him. She loved him as he was. As imperfect as he was, she still loved him. That was enough for him to look back and love himself as well. A dark cloud was disappearing, and he finally saw the light.

Martin smiled to himself once more and walked to the phone. It had been way too long since he hadn't called the guy. Martin didn't bother to look at the time difference or concern much if it was nighttime on that side of the globe. He pressed call and waited. It took his friend a while to pick him up.

"WTH! Gosh, why are you calling at this time? Don't you know what time it is? You must know what you are going to hear from me!" Just as Martin guessed, he chuckled at the scold that he received. But the guy picked up anyway, though. His best friend groggily mumbled some words he couldn't understand. It must be very early in the morning there in New York.

"I know the time, Joe, but I miss you, so I'm calling." He smiled while saying this, and it was evident in his voice.

"What? Is that really Martin?"

"Yes, it's me."

"How are you? You have lost contact, man! I texted you, and you never replied. You also never gave me your new number or address. That was mean, do you know that? I was worried sick about you. How are you? Tell me everything. Are you still well?"

Martin knew Joe was fully awake as soon as he heard his voice.

"I'm fine...."

There were so many things he wanted to tell his friend.

"Joe, do you remember those times back in university?"

"..." Joe must be confused to realize that he didn't give him any more information than reminiscing old times.

"You know, those times way back when we were hanging out at the college bar and laughed at whatever nonsense came to mind." He missed those days, and Martin smiled at the sweet memories. The time that he had no burden in life. The time of his life that he held dear to his heart.

"Wow, many nights went on like that. How could I tell?"

"Haha, precisely."

"Martin...you are...laughing?" Martin didn't let his friend be too confused for long.

"There was one night that you asked me what I would do after graduation, and I explained my three-year plan, and then five-year plan, and then ended the night with my ten-year plan. Do you remember that?"

"Oh, that serious man, that was so you. Yes. I remember that. You also gave yourself a KPI and success indicators. Well?"

"Do you remember how did you change my mind?"

"

Jo thought about this for a while. He finally figured out the answer.

"To define is to limit." That was the quote by Oscar Wilde that he cherished.

"Now, I understand, Joe. I finally understand this quote! I finally understand that everything is possible! I can do everything and anything. I am free. I don't have to limit myself to be whoever I am expected to be. Everything is possible! Everything! I felt so relieved thinking about this. I'm beginning a new life! Yes! I can begin a new life!"

"Joe, thank you! Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for always being by my side through all those difficult times. Thank you for doing the right thing and supporting me when I needed you most. Thank you for the stuff about Celine as well. You are the best friend I love the most. You are a true friend."

"Why are you quiet?"

"It's too touching... I'm about to cry."

"This is not a prank, is it?" Knowing Joe, Martin thought he was half joking.

"No! It's really touching... what you said touched me. I would hug you if you were around here."

"What? That's mad!"

"Well, dude, you said you loved me!"

"Hahahaha, what the hell? You are too crazy, brother."

"Say you loved me again, no?" Joe teased.

"Dude, you go back to bed, alright?"

Martin looked up. Today, the sky was so blue.