The Wrong Alpha - A Twist Of Fate?
The Wrong Alpha – A Twist Of Fate? Chapter 81

I quickly drive away from the ice cream parlour without looking back. I shouldn’t have let myself act like than with him. He’s so easy to mess around with, to have a laugh with, the same as the other guys but the difference with Knox is it easily seems to fall over into flirting and that scares me.

I don’t even realise I’ve done it until it’s too late…it just happens with him…. I shouldn’t do that, he has a mate out there…. But then it felt like was going to k**s me back there….it scared me….. because I wanted him to…. I really did….

But at the same time as he raised his hand for some reason I instinctively flinched, probably all the beating I’ve had in the last year of late from Anya and her friends.

I didn’t expect the tears though. I think all the emotions of everything got the better of me, everything from tonight with Logan, then me reacting like I did when Knox went to touch my face and the fact I’m scared and the fact I wanted him to k**s me. I do not want a man, I truly don’t, I don’t want to go through that pain again, so why can he so easily get under my skin? Rushing off probably made Knox feel like crap….. I should probably apologise….

My phone buzzed through the Bluetooth system in my car. I answered it on the speakerphone system within my car system, knowing already it was Knox…. He must have ready my mind…

He spoke before I even had chance to say hello “Lilah I just want to say I am really sorry. I overstepped the mark there. I know we were messing around. Think I got carried away. You looked cute…..erm….”

He sounded awkward and like he was struggling to find the right words “we somehow ended up flirting, your lips were really close and I kind of wanted to…. F**k… no! s**t I don’t mean I wanted to f**k, s**t I’m not doing good here. I mean your lips were there and suddenly in that moment I wanted to k**s you. I know I’m wrong and I know you don’t need that s**t right now, I know we’re friends and I overstepped the mark. Please forgive me?”

Bless him…he sounded really nervous…he thought I looked cute though!! But he thinks what we did was wrong…. I felt a little deflated again, but he is probably right.

“Is fine Knox. Im sorry for rushing off. I panicked” I explain. I hear him let out a big sigh, I assume of relief.

“I made you cry though” he muttered.

“That wasn’t you Knox, that was everything today, I just got a bit overwhelmed is all” I try to dismiss it, not wanting to worry him and definitely not wanting to explain I wanted him to k**s me.

“Lilah?” He questions.

“Hmm” I respond as I continue to drive home.

“Are you scared of me?” He asks nervously .

What? Why would he think that?

“Maybe I was a little to begin with when I first met you” I admit honestly “but I’ve got to know you, and no definitely not scared of you Knox. Why?”

“Hmmm. Ok. You sure? It’s just that you flinched when I went to touch your face, like you thought I was going to hit you or something….” He says gently. Oh shit….. how do I explain that away?!….. I hoped he hadn’t noticed…..

“Instinct I guess. Hand coming to face.” I try to lie.

“Lilah. You looked scared. Please don’t lie to me.” Knox says kindly. I know he’s trying to help but I can’t tell him. I need to end this call….

“Knox please just stop… I said it was nothing…. It is nothing ok? You can’t save me from everything.” I say bluntly.

I hear a sharp intake of breath. I’d annoyed him or upset him or both. Neither of which I wanted to do. Without this guy’s help I’m f****d. “Ok” he said simply.

“Knox? Are you mad with me now?” I have to question.

“Nope” he answers sharply. That’s a yes then, easy to tell when he answers like that. Great…..

“I’m sorry Knox, I really am. I don’t want to go into it anymore, please understand. But please don’t be mad at me. I’ll tell you one day I promise. But please don’t be mad at me, please…” I beg, beginning to sob, knowing if he’s not there to help, neither is his pack, and then I’m all alone…..

“Oh sweet…. Please don’t cry…I’m not mad, I just wish you could share things with me. I want to help you, it frustrates me you can’t tell me and I can’t help. But ok, you will tell me one day. I’ll settle for that for now. One day we will fix things for you, you will be happy sweet. I promise”

I think he was making promises he couldn’t keep to be fair….he was underestimating Logan…

“Ok, thank you for being a good friend today Knox. And for dropping everything to come to be there for me” I say to him.

“Hey I told you didn’t I? We all did, anytime, if I hadn’t come any of the other guys would have done the same, you need to remember that sweet, you always have a whole load of us there who will drop everything to come and help if you need something. You are never alone even if you feel like you are.” He says kindly, and while I know what he says may be true, it won’t continue once Logan becomes Alpha because he won’t allow it…. He’s made that more than clear…. He’s going to make me lose my new friends…. And also one of my oldest friends too…..