When She Needs Them Most
: Chapter 32

On Friday, the furnace guy finally shows up to replace the broken parts. It doesn’t impact me much, since I’m now exclusively living with the guys, but I bet Briar and Easton and the other two, whose names I can’t remember, appreciate having working heat.

Lincoln told me they had furniture delivered. Honestly, I couldn’t care less, as long as they dispose of it when they leave. I need to speak to Mrs. Wilson and see what the options are. I feel terrible taking up that house if someone else in the area is looking for a place to live, but it did sit empty for months before I rented it, so it’s probably not a huge deal. It is a big waste of money, but I’m locked in with a lease, and I’ve already accepted that I’ll have to pay out the remaining eleven months.

My focus is crap, and I’m exhausted from barely sleeping, which could be from the constant pelvic and lower back pain.

By Saturday afternoon, I’m cranky and unable to shake the discomfort. Walking or stretching or repeated showers don’t help for long. I almost want to ask if we can buy a new mattress, because the one in the pack bedroom is giving me intense pain in my hips and lower back. On the plus side, Luna’s nursery is completely set up, and we have all the important things that I would have forgotten.

The daylight slips away, and I prepare for another rough night. If tonight is anything like the last couple, then there won’t be any rest to be found. I’ve taken a few short naps during the day, but even when I wake up, I never feel well-rested.

“Would you like to try the heating pad?” Lincoln offers, tenderly rubbing my back as I lean over the kitchen counter.

I shake my head, then nod, only to shake it again. “No, thank you.”

It’s so hard to describe, but it’s not unbearable pain. It’s more like the most annoying throbbing ache that comes and goes.

I’m pretty sure they’re all about to realize the disaster they tied themselves to. Well, except for Arden. He’s still holding out, and I can’t blame him. Poor Lincoln and Kase get spillover from the bond.

The longer I go without proper rest, the more impossible it becomes for me to block my emotions from spilling into the link. Even simple aches and pains are wearing me down in a way I’ve never experienced.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, planting my forehead on the cool tile of the counter. I slide back and forth, trying to ease the pressure in my hips. I’m about to burst into tears, and I don’t even know why.

Okay, I do.

These poor guys. I’m still not fully convinced that their instincts didn’t force them to step in when they saw an omega in need. They’re stuck with a lifelong commitment, and it feels like I bring nothing but baggage to this relationship.

“You’re killing me here, sweetheart,” Linc says, pulling my hair back from my face. His fingers dig into my lumbar region while his hand soothes over my shoulder. “I know you’re miserable. Tell me how to help.” The pleading tone of his voice makes me feel even worse.

They’re amazing.

Honestly, they have to be a gift from Clark, because I swear, if I were alone right now, I’d be having a nervous breakdown.

“I’m okay. You’re helping a lot. Just having you around is keeping me centered.”

Okay, that was a fib.

I’ve experienced a lot of anxiety during this pregnancy. My last doctor even told me there was a name for it—tokophobia. I read up on it a little. I have had some of the symptoms, but the majority of my apprehension comes from the fear of doing things alone. Having bonds should soothe some of those fears, but mental health issues don’t have to make rational sense.

They just are.

You can try to rationalize them away, but anxiety and depression don’t work like that.

Turning around, I bury my face in Lincoln’s chest. “Thank you for putting up with me. I know you have to be getting every bit of my chaos in the bond.”

His warmth envelops me as he wraps his strong arms around my back. “I’m not afraid of a little mayhem, but I wish I could take away your discomfort.”

“You already are,” I assure him.