Wild West of the Heart
FORTY FIVE

"You tell him yet?" DaSilva said, sensing Mira had walked into the kitchen. She was in a crop top and oversize bunny printed pajamas. And she let out a sigh. The place was decent, wiped off any memory or stench from last night.

"Nope" Mira took a seat, closer to him. He didn't bother to turn around but you could still tell he had a disappointing face on. "What did i tell you about being just like him?" Silva crocked, adjusting his pair of boxer shorts. He had some mask plastered on his face as he tossed an egg in the frying pan. It was when he was done, that he finally looked back. "I know, i know" She said.

"But it just didn't come up"

There was something that played across the monitor of his laptop which was wedged atop the fridge. It was either he was binging youtube or listening to music while he cooked.

"I know" He said, his words laced in sarcasm.

"What are you watching?" Mira tried so hard to change the subject as she stole an apple from the cabinet. Taking a bite of it, she turned to Silva who already had his unhealthy breakfast done. Unhealthy.

There was pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs.

All downed with a highly caffeinated coffee to fuel him through the day. It was either this, or a bottle of leftover booze from the night before.

Either way, one wasn't more far fetched from the other.

"You know, actually. You might know her" Silva said, taking a bite of his oily diet. It dripped over his lips as he walked closer to Mira, the laptop clutched under his pits. And the plate in his other hand. "Who?" Mira dared to ask as he took a sit. "The " He pointed to the laptop which he placed on the table. "Hassan Madu" He crunched on the crust of his pancakes. Mira refused to let herself get tempted by such scrumptious bite that she had to dart her eyes to the monitor She knew the person in question, like she knew that she did. But she couldn't place a finger on where. "Who?" She turned to Silva who let her lips fall wide. "You don't know Hassan Madu?"

"You must be joking"

"It isn't that big of a deal. Besides i think i do, i just can't- You know" Silva shook his head, with disappointment in his eyes.

"No, i do not know" He humphed. "Everybody around here knows Hassan. As controversial as she is, she's like the only open trans person in this country" Mira let her eyes widen, of course she knew Madu. "Oh" She exclaimed. Hassan rolled his eyes.

"Isn't she arab tho?" Mira asked, reaching for his cup of coffee. She gave in, she had to have something besides an apple. "She's a Nigerian, before anything else. She relocated to Dubai when she was quite young" He subtitled the video which he watched. Her voice lowered as Mira noticed how much she had changed since she last saw her. Which in retrospect was like years ago, and that was because of Obi.

He'd like to think she'd gone further enough in her transitioning. Hassan Madu was an activist, before she was a publicist which nowadays we often refer to them as social influencers.

She started youtube as a teen on a journey of self discovery. Soon by fifteen, she started openly transitioning with the help of her mother then.

But she wasn't in Nigeria, so it wasn't that much of a big deal, not that Dubai was a much more accepting place either. Everyone was just too busy in the town which it was back then. Unlike how it's been urbanized of recent.

Of course she was criticized but like they say, even bad publicity is still publicity. Soon word spread and everyone took interest in this bold teenager that strived to be different.

Now, Madu's father was a senator, which was an upside. It was more than an upside because there weren't as much limitations as there would be for a person of Obi's status. She had the luxury of doctors, she had money, her father's money but still there was also money she made off youtube, documenting her life and forming some sort of community online.

And she got brand deals as well. Hearing the story of Hassan Madu, you would think the world was finally headed somewhere. Somewhere good, but it was a cliché. As much as people tried to relate to her that much, she wasn't really like them.

She grew up away from here, having no clue of the phobias that still infiltrated the hearts of several citizens. The fear of someone else living their lives. She grew up away from the stigma, and the bullying and hate speeches. The slurs. Although not invalidating her own personal struggles, there wasn't much comparison to be made. And she sensed it, it was why she got emancipated at the age of eighteen and she was alone in the world, still in Dubai though. She started activism through the followers base she had already gathered on youtube and she seldom held seminars and marches, and did noble shit like collaborate with hospitals.

She was a good person, one that seemed to have all of her shit together. But she wasn't always like that. Obi grew up watching the other side of her.

The side that had constant struggles with identity and navigating the tumultuous waters and beliefs around femininity and sexuality. It was that part of her that Obi related the most to, and he and Mira would spend hours binging her latest videos.

It was through her Obi learned everything he knew, and through her, he figured that maybe he wanted to be trans, just like her.

Just maybe. He thought if he was, his problems would just sort of disappear. But the further he went in, the bigger the question mark got above his head. That mark of existential crisis. And what happened to Jazz was just a cream of the crop- -the fear was what halted his brakes, to maybe take a moment to self reflect. To think. It wasn't easy but he did that. The only issue however was keeping it from Mira, who'd been there for him from the very beginning. She

"She's a woman before anything else" Mira placed the cup to the table. "You know she could help you though. I mean she's sort of therapeutic" Silva looked to the laptop. "Why are you even watching it?"

He took the last bite of his pancakes. "Uh, because she's an icon and she's pretty interesting. She is the moment, and rarely do we see a Nigerian stand up for rights like these—"

"She isn't in Nigeria" Mira said flatly. "Actually she would be soon. For this christmas party she's party she's hosting at Eko Hotels" She looked to him with arched brows. "Oh i know. I'm a fan" He surrendered and Mira just heaved a deep breath.

"I'd think about it" She finally replied. "I mean, you could even go. She could be some kind of guide for you. Like she was with Obi" Silva said.

"Well, look how that turned out"

"Don't say that. He might have his reasons. Let's not look at this like some sort of failed experiment but as growth" He cleared his throat.

"I just wish he'd tell me, you know" Silva closed the laptop before looking to her. "It used to be just us from the very beginning. And don't even give me that she's growing type of shit" She snapped.

"We promised we wont be those type of people@

"Well people break promises" Silva said flatly as Mira rested back in the chair. "How helpful and comforting" She sarcastically remarked.

He chuckled slightly before standing from his chair, then he looked to her. "You know how about you just confront him instead. Meet him halfway?" He said in a questioning tone. "Yeah, tell him i was poking through his stuffs" "That should be the very least of your worries" He walked towards the sink, sliding his plate in it. Somehow he ate the whole dish in record breaking time and he soon burped. "Yeah right—"

He washed off his hands and walked back to the table, picking up his laptop. If he wasn't drinking like a monster, he was eating like a monster.

"Now, if you excuse me. I have to go binge Hassan. You can join in if you want-" He paused. "But just no talking and interruptions"

Mira rolled her eyes to the back of her head. "Hard pass" She replied, reaching for her own laptop. It was what they did during the day since they both didn't have that much work.

"Your loss" Silva gritted his teeth, mumbling some sort of theme song. And he walked out of the room. Now, Mira remembered that song and she suddenly felt nostalgic. Now, maybe it won't be such a bad idea if she did confront Obi.

It was how they worked. Simple codependency, they helped each other in times like these, and stuck out for each other. That didn't have to change, especially not because of a fucking secret.

He opened the device, unconsciously mumbling that exact theme song. "She's an icon. She's the moment-" A smile morphed to her lips at how ridiculous it sounded, but she still continued in a shrill embarrassed whisper. "She's Hassan Madu"

-

"A quick reminder of the dire consequences that comes with exam malpractice" Collins stood by the door with a cane in his left hand whilst the invigilator moved around to collect our first papers. Ola's eyes darted to the timing, and a tick next to the specified two hours.

It was biology, which you knew now was his worst subject. But even with that, he knew he couldn't fail. Because that would mean he repeating his final year. Without Obi or Fiyin.

Then they went to his empty scripts, his eyes i mean. His hazel brown eyes that soon began to water. He imagined a life without Obi, where he had to stay back a year. If only he knew the Goddamn meaning of homeostasis and the drawing of the fucking circulatory system.

I mean why couldn't they ask him shit that had to do with calculations and formulas, it was where he thrived. But all those were stories. A million a's and an f, still meant the same. Failure.

It was a drop of kerosene in the cleanest water.

And even if repeating a year at least could give him a plan, he just couldn't. Because it meant more money and he doubted Akin would even spend for it. His father hated him as much already.

"Hey, are you done?" Obi whispered from across the room, shielding his face with his papers. Ola quickly looked at him, shaking his head. The invigilator was three rows away from them, snatching people's papers from them as they scribbled to write what they could the last minute.

"Come on, which one?"

Ola felt embarrassed as he muttered. "Homeostasis" It was the simplest, yet most complicating to him. And even Obi that hadn't read much had tried his best to assimilate what he could. He looked to his scripts, muttering under his lips the answer. And the next, and the next.

One time he made eye contact with Collins, whose gaze then got interrupted by Fiyin's. He adjusted himself, a little uncomfortable by the door. Fiyin was more confident this time, boring into his soul with her eyes. She was playing his game, his little chess of power. And she let him know that now, more than ever, she could destroy him with her truth. In that moment, she felt powerful.

It was unlike how she'd felt the past weeks. With her hair sleeked down and her glossed lips which she moistened. She then looked to Obi, winking at him. He nodded, carrying out with helping his best friend. When they were three, they started this school together. And they for sure, were going to leave together. It was their final year-

everything came down to this.

"There's a valve by the right" Obi whispered, as he looked to the front of the class, making eye contact with Ayo. He had on a smirk which he was quick to ignore. In an almost silent class, it was the way people communicated. With eyes. As the invigilator drew nearer, Ola tried his best to scribble and sketch down what he heard at the discretion of both herself and Collins. Beads of sweat clouded his head and dropped to the piece of paper and the echoes from the heel of her shoe rang in his ears. It was a tense second between drawing his last line and the woman reaching him.

But he did it just in time.

A mouthful of air escaped his lips as he fell back in his chair. His head oozed heat as he began to feel feverish. Obi handed over his paper and then stood to meet him. "You finished?" He asked. "Well, i did something" Ola looked to him, before sitting up and eyeing Fiyin from across the room. "Thank you" He muttered.

"You know you could ask her" Obi said, and Ola turned back to him, playing dumb. "Oh please, i know you have this crush on her since you got back and honestly i think she does too" He added. "What?" Ola arched his brows. "You think?"

He grabbed his mathset, hoping to meet her by the door. And surprised that Obi wasn't weirded out at all by the fact that he was crushing on Fi-

i mean they had been best friends since they were kids. And it was just to a high school dance. He wasn't asking for a relationship.

He soothed himself with the words that floated around in his head. Then he grabbed his bags.

"Still not spoken to Abdul?" His eyes scanned the room for who had already gone. And Obi shook his head, trying to hide the pain in his eyes.

"No" He cleared his throat and they begun to walk towards the door. At some point, Obi held back as Ola approached Fiyin. Her head was buried in her phone as she checked for some of the answers to the questions which she doubted. There were a few of them engrossed in their devices at the door that it took him a while to brush through. "Hey" He said, when he finally did. And she looked up to him with a smile.

"Hey"

"Uh. How was it?" He asked, sliding his hands into her pockets. Her eyes darted back into her bag before she closed it up. "It was not bad"

"Honestly. You?" She asked sharply and Ola just scoffed, leaving her to find her reply in that expression. Obi had helped him but still, there were some questions he couldn't answer.

"Yikes" She exclaimed, making an attempt to walk past him but he held her arm. For the first seconds they're hands touched, there was something electric that went through him. She moved away first, having not being comfortable with human touch yet. But not in a way that was offensive.

Ola's lips fell open. "I'm sorry" He apologized and she stuttered. trying to find the words to tell him that it wasn't his fault. "No" She shook her head in a way that already drained his confidence. And his cheeks became flustered as he pointed

back.

"I_"

"I got to go" He said, turning away from him but as she was about to call him, Deb showed up from behind. She had a smile across her face and she swung her arms. You could tell that for her, the exam was bliss. Fiyin looked back and forth till Ola had disappeared and she sighed.

"What is it?" She asked, scrunching some paper in her hands and Fi just shook her head. "Nothing-"

"Exams?"

"Fair. You?" She asked, clutching the torn strap of her backpack to her shoulders. "It was great. Everything i read came out" There was the reason for that smile that hadn't faded off her face.

"You know i was thinking-" Deb held the paper in her hands. "The dance, if we could go together" She smirked nervously. "I mean you don't have a date, and i don't also. Shocker" She whispered and they both burst out laughing with Ola crossing Fiyin's mind. But then, he hadn't asked.

No matter how badly she wanted him to ask, he didn't.

"Have some fun. Drink. It'll be girl's night" Deb took her arms, overcoming with both the joy of the exams and this. "Come on" Fi looked to the door and then back at her. It took her a moment before she replied, pulling back her arms as well. She didn't get why everyone was so touchy.

"Yes, why not" She smiled and Deb just slouched a bit. "Wear something pretty" She replied and Fi was headed to the door. "I'll try" Came an unconvincing reply as Deb caught up with her. "I'll walk you home"

And after a look, she backed a bit. "Walk you to your street?" She rephrased, knowing Fi would never let her close to her house.

"Don't you have like a fancy driver waiting for you?" Fiyin teased and she rolled her eyes. "He doesn't know it's exam. So half day?" She replied.

"And i like it that way" She held the door open for Fi as they walked towards the main door. Both Ola and Obi seemed to disappear into the blend of students in the hallway so she didn't bother. "Sure" There was a lasting stare. "Sure, you do."

To be continued...