Arranged To The Alpha
Chapter 58

Blake:

I opened my eyes to frown when I saw that my mate was sleeping on a chair with her head laying on the edge of the bed.

She rested her head on her arm as her hand held on mine despite her being asleep, and judging by the frown on her face, I could tell that she only slept out of exhaustion; however, she was nowhere near being okay. If anything, I could even tell that she was still somewhat conscious despite her being asleep, her body just needed the rest.

I ran my finger over her hand, gently stroking it, making her stir. And opening her eyes, Natalia’s eyes met mine before she released a breath that she was holding.

I smiled weakly at her, the effect of painkillers starting to wear off, and taking my hand in both of hers, she kissed my palm gently.

I nodded at her, wanting her to get in bed beside me, and she froze, waiting for a few seconds before making a move. Her eyes met mine and I smiled at my beauty, my eyes softening “I won’t sleep in bed while you sit on a chair all night, baby girl”

“You’re hurt, Blake, and I dozed off. I’m fine, don’t worry” Natalia said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. I extended my hand to her, and despite hesitating, she took my hand and pulled her gently. I had no force to put to begin with, she stood up and sat on the edge of the bed beside me.

“You didn’t leave my side…”

“You’re my husband and mate, Blake” she said, stopping me.

“I know, but you put everything aside and stood by my side” I said, smiling at her as she sighed. She didn’t even know how much her words meant to me, but her saying them so casually made my heart swell.

“Blake, our fights are one thing, and you being injured is another. I know that things got rough, but…”

“But you love me more than the random fights that we had” I said, stopping her. She looked down at her lap, avoiding my eyes for a few seconds as she processed what I said.

“Blake, you know that my feelings for you are bigger and will always be stronger than our fights. Yes, we tend to get upset, and yes, we tend to say words that could hurt…”

“You know very well that it’s not what I meant, Natalia” I said, stopping her. She didn’t speak to respond, and it wasn’t until I took her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers, studying her expression “I know that you’re still angry with me, and I know that you’re still hurt by everything that happened; but I still appreciate what you’ve done for me today. It may not mean much to you, but it meant the world to me”

“I was not going to leave them to kill you, Blake, you do realize that, right?” Natalia asked, stopping me. I chuckled and shook my head at him, making her smile.

“I’m guessing at this point, the divorce papers are irrelevant?” She asked and I smirked, running my thumb over her fingers as I looked at her.

“I was not going to sign it anyway, and even if I did, what difference or point it would be making, I don’t really know. As you may have forgotten, the two of us are mates, and us breaking up, theoretically, would literally mean nothing” I said, watching as my beauty removed her hand from mine. She didn’t say a word for a while and it wasn’t until I cleared my throat, snapping her out of whatever world she got lost into, that she looked at me.

“Do you want to know why I’m scared of your love for Myla?” She asked, avoiding my eyes. In truth, I wanted to hear it out from her because I wanted to voice out her words. I knew that I could have gotten in her head to find out, but I wanted her to speak out her feelings, it would ease things up for her.

“Why?”

“I know that the two of you grew up together and had so many feelings toward one another. And it scares the hell out of me that I might never be able to satisfy you the way that she did. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know that you would have had your little girl with her, experienced your first times…” Natalia said, shaking her head at herself “with her, you knew how to deal with things. I think, maybe, that is how you know how to deal with me. But I am literally just learning all of this now. I never fell in love, and I don’t know, I’ve got so many feelings coursing through me that I don’t know how to deal with them. One minute I’m happy and in love and the next, I’m literally feeling like fire is pouring over my chest…”

I smiled at my beauty before nodding at her and raising my right hand. She frowned in confusion and wrapped my arm around her waist. Despite how weak I was, I pulled her to me, hugging her tightly, not caring that I just got out of surgery. Natalia, however, had different plans as she tried getting out of my grip, fearing hurting me without meaning to do so. I smiled at her concern and watched as she looked down at my bandages.

“You know, I can confirm, one hundred percent, that you are deeply in love with me” I said, making her frown in confusion “the feelings that you’re feeling, your anger, your happiness, pain, mixed emotions. You’re just scared of losing something that you’re happy having, in reality, I can’t blame you. The two of us have dealt through a lot more than anyone should handle at our age, but what I want you to keep in mind, Natalia, is that I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to think that we could ever think of losing one another. Yes, the two of us could fight every once and a while, but our love would grow with each fight, and eventually, we would be sleeping in one another’s arms…”

“Blake, us fighting constantly has literally made our relationship more toxic…”

“Baby girl, you do realize that the two of us got married not knowing one another, right?” I asked “it is literally very normal for us to have our differences as we get to know one another. Even as a dating couple, you know that couples tend to go on breaks, on and off relationships, or even breakups. The two of us fighting to get to know one another at times is only normal. As you said, Myla and I were different, you can’t compare yourself to her because I grew up with Myla. I didn’t grow up with you, Natalia, and I can’t expect you to be the copy of Myla, nor can I expect you to act like her. No, I don’t even want you to do that, why? Because the woman that I fell in love with was YOU. A pure woman with a kind heart that would die for me. A woman who would fight the world to simply defend what she believed was right, and a beauty who I knew would be loyal to me till the end”

My eyes were fixed on my mate’s as I spoke and smiling at her, I slowly pulled her toward me, making her lay her head on the crook of my neck “I don’t want you thinking that I want you to change to be someone else. No, I do not compare you to Myla, nor did I ever think of it. Yes, I do wonder at times what it would be like to have her around, but I also think how lucky I am to have gotten you. Yes, Myla was and still is, my first love; but that first love is one that was also shaky. Regardless of knowing one another for so long, we both also had our fights, and we both had our on and off moments as well”

“So, us arguing as much as we did is normal?” Natalia asked, making me chuckle.

“Yes, baby girl, us arguing, fighting, and being upset with one another is very normal” I said, smiling at my beauty whose eyes softened “it’s very, very normal, baby girl”