Arrow Inferno
Chapter 30: Jeremy Stanton vs. Ryan Hicks Feral attraction in the midst of hatred… Reasons!

***

"Fuck..." Ryan gasped, surprised at Jeremy's reaction. This mate shit must mean a lot to the wicked asshole, Ryan thought completely shocked. Though he felt an answering pain and sadness within his heart and wanted like hell to console Jeremy, he just sat quietly...almost dispassionately, watching and listening to him sob.

Jeremy cried for quite some time, apologizing the whole time to Ryan for treating him so badly. He begged for his forgiveness. When Jeremy eventually quieted down, he remained on his knees but sat back on his heels...unknowingly assuming the sitting posture of a submissive. He just didn't feel like moving from where he was. He looked so defeated, vulnerable and dejected. Definitely not like the powerful arrogant alpha that Ryan had come to know. Oh, he still looked sexy as fuck. No one could take that away from the man.

"Wh...what would you want me to do for you?" Jeremy rasped when he felt he could talk.

Ryan's brow shot up in devilish surprise. "I thought I just told you what I wan..."

"Ryan please." Jeremy couldn't even recognize his own voice. His throat hurt and there was an unpleasant feeling of dread within him. "Anything but that."

At that point, Jeremy felt Ryan had seen him at his lowest. Even when his father and brother had been killed, he hadn't cried. He'd gone on a rampage and killed over a dozen hunters but he hadn't shed a tear. To say Jeremy was shocked that his mate had driven him to tears would be an understatement. But he didn't even feel shame for submitting in such a way to Ryan. He just wanted to keep him from severing their bond. Should Ryan sever their bond, Jeremy's wolf would die with excruciating pain. His human body would become a shell...almost zombielike. And then eventually his human body would deteriorate and die. It was a fate worse than death and Jeremy wouldn't wish such a fate on even his enemy. He would rather die than have his wolf die. Because should that happen, it would mean Jeremy had let down not only his people but Luna too because his human shell certainly couldn't be the alpha his people wanted.

Jeremy felt he had two options. It was either get Ryan to forgive him and accept his mark by mating with him properly, or commit suicide. He would gladly die than put his wolf through the agonizing death it would go through should Ryan reject them. What happened wasn't the wolf's fault and Jeremy could therefore not allow it to take the fall for it. He just couldn't have that. All it would take was for Ryan to say it out loud to him that he rejected him as his mate, to kill his wolf. If Ryan did that at that moment, Jeremy wouldn't even get the chance to kill himself to save his wolf. To say Jeremy was desperate would be an understatement. He was ready to do whatever his mate asked of him. At all cost, he had to make things right with his mate to keep him from severing their bond and in effect, kill his wolf.

"Anything you want," Jeremy said hoarsely.

"I want my life back." Ryan's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I can't change you back into human." Jeremy groaned.

"Oh, I know that. Your mother told me. I just want to go back to my work. Back to teaching. My leg is healed..."

"Not fully heal..."

"It's fine." Ryan cut him off. "I can manage."

"You don't have full control when it comes to your wolf. Being amongst people in such a state can be dangerous."

Ryan gave a short bitter laugh. "I don't think anyone out there is going to hurt or anger me as much as you have. But even you, I didn't harm. How much more..."

"You would have, Ryan," Jeremy said softly. "I had to command you not to shift on more than one occasion if you can recall."

"I won't shift."

"Don't be too sure."

"I want to go back to my apartment," Ryan said, drawing a groan from Jeremy.

"It's not safe Ryan. That young boy who lured you onto my land comes from a family of hunters. We're still working on them. Till we're done, it's not safe for you out there."

"He doesn't know I'm a wolf now Jeremy." Ryan stood up. "I don't think he'll be a problem."

"I will allow you to go back to teaching." Jeremy stood too. "But please stay here with me."

Ryan gave a short laugh void of humour. "Stay here with you." He began to pace. "There's something you need to know about me. I'm...how do I put it? Very highly sexed. I need to get off often otherwise it gets pretty uncomfortable for me. The urge has become even more intense since I became a...werewolf. The last time I wanked off in that room..."

"I won't attack you ever again," Jeremy said quickly. "And I won't touch you sexually...unless you ask me to."

"Don't hold your breath." Ryan sneered.

"You have my word." Jeremy completed what he was saying as if Ryan hadn't said anything.

"Well, do pardon me but your word doesn't mean shit to me, Jere..." Ryan trailed off at Jeremy's sudden furious growl.

"I'm an Alpha. And my word is my..." Jeremy began harshly...

"Ow, don't get your panties in a twist over this Oh Mighty Alpha." Ryan drawled mockingly with his hands up, palms open and facing upward in a sign of mock reverence. "Yes, you're an alpha. And yes, your word is all that. But hey, this is me you're talking to. The newly-turned werewolf. The one who had to endure torture upon torture from you. I think you should understand if I'm finding it difficult to trust you. Where I come from, you know people by their actions." "So have I not acted in any way, throughout your stay on my land, to show you that I'm not the monster I portrayed in the beginning?" There was so much anguish in Jeremy's voice Ryan's breath hitched.

"It still doesn't erase the fact that you treated me cruelly because of my sex," Ryan whispered. "I can't get past that. Surely you understand." "Ryan..."

"At least now I know why you snapped. And I wish you can be honest and admit it like a man...or werewolf or alpha...whatever. I just want you to admit you snapped because of my sex and not because you thought I was a werewolf killer." Jeremy sighed. "The hunter bit contributed. There was a full moon that night which made me restless. The pack was getting ready for our monthly run. I got so furious when I heard that hunters were lying in wait for us. Then there you were...a hunter...well that's what I thought at the time. Then I realized you were my mate too. And you were a man. I just lost it, Ryan. I... fuck!" Jeremy rubbed at his forehead with rough fingers in a sign of frustration. "I'm so sorry." Ryan didn't say anything for a few long moments, and when he did his voice was hoarse. "Surely someone must have heard my screams that night when you were..." There was so much pain in his eyes and voice. "Why didn't anyone come to my aid?"

"If anyone had tried to stop me, I would have killed that person without a thought, Ryan," Jeremy said quietly, his eyes were filled with regret and shame. "Philip tried to get me to snap out of it but there was so much he could do. He blames himself though because he sorta convinced me to release you from the dungeon. Maybe if you had remained there, I wouldn't have..."

"Smelt my irresistible cum and want to get your rocks off." Ryan concluded sarcastically.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, me too." Ryan stopped pacing and looked up at Jeremy. "Listen, enough of this. The harm has already been done. No need to cry over spilt milk. But I need to feel normal. I need to teach. That's what I love doing best. That's my life." "And you will teach." Jeremy said. "But please stay here with me. I need to keep you safe."

"I can keep myself safe."

"I'm your mate, Ryan. Do you really want to see what I'll do if something should happen to you?"

Ryan's eyes widened as the seriousness of what Jeremy was asking hit him. He remembered what Gloria had said about that murderous Ojah power. Besides, he'd experienced its ruthless power first hand.