Butterscotch Souls: The Morningstar Series: Book 4
Butterscotch Souls – Chapter 24

Over the next few days we all fell into a routine. Ambrose would wake up in a great mood, he would k**s me before getting out of bed. I would choose something to wear that he didn’t like, but would change right away instead of arguing. Tate was excited every day to go to school.

Ziggy and one of his parents would come to our house every morning and we would all walk to school together. Tate and Ziggy are best friends just like we knew they would be. Ambrose would leave me at Tate’s classroom to go to the training grounds.

At least now he was giving me quick k****s goodbye.

Then I would head down to the archives. Belle had Tia give me access now that I’m family. Sometimes they would join me but most of the time I was alone.

Belle, bless her heart, would always bring me lunch. I feel like I’m not eating barely at all lately. Every day I learned more and more about the supernatural world.

Tate has been learning a lot but he told me that he knows the majority of what he’s learning. We told him to give it more time and he agreed. He has been making a lot of friends so far and I’m ecstatic about that.

Everything with my son has been going wonderfully. Ambrose is an amazing father and thankfully Tate has not picked up on my inner turmoil.

When Tate was due to get out of class Ambrose would always come and get me. We would walk to Tate’s classroom and then walk him home. Most of the time Ambrose had to go out again to finish up some training. Tate and I would wait for him to get home and then Ambrose would spend and hour or so with Tate.

They practiced magic and shifting. I watched the entire time. Honestly, I was starting to feel useless. There was nothing I could help with, I was just here like a third wheel.

Ambrose would still manage to make us dinner every night. We would tuck Tate in together and Ambrose would read him a book. Then I would spend a good amount of time trying to seduce my mate. It never worked.

I tried lingerie, like several different styles. Sometimes I wouldn’t wear anything at all. I tried to get him to catch me masterbating, I tried to k**s on him, massage him, anything I could think of.

I was already not good at this. It was a huge self confidence risk I was taking and every single time I was shot down. Ambrose didn’t even touch me back anymore. I was beginning to feel hopeless.

Is there something wrong with me?

Tonight is Friday night though. I have one more thing to try. Something that I read in a book in the archives. Apparently werewolves go insane when their mate is covered in their scent.

I’m going to put Tate to bed while Ambrose takes a nice long shower, and when he comes out I will meet wearing his shirt and covered in his scent. It won’t be the first time Ambrose has seen me in his clothes but I was hoping if I touched him a lot as well that it would help.

Right now I am attempting to cook dinner for the three of us. Ambrose wasn’t able to meet me at Tate’s classroom like normal because of work I guess. He was able to let Robby know, who told me.

Robby said Ambrose told him in a text and I was suddenly wondering if I should get a phone. After Robby and Ziggy walked Tate and I home I rummaged through the fridge. And now I am attempting to make spaghetti.

“Mommy is this supposed to bubble like that?” Tate asked.

I spun around to see the sauce boiling over onto the stove.

“Shit.” I mumbled and rushed over to turn the burner down.

Just then the front door opened.

“I’m home.” Came Ambrose’s voice.

“Daddy!” Tate yelled and rushed into his fathers arms.

I was rushing to get everything under control when Ambrose walked up to the counter holding Tate.

“What’s all of this?” He asked as he looked around.

“A miserable attempt to be normal.” I mumbled.

“Huh?” Ambrose asked.

“Mommy tried to cook for us but she’s bad at it.” Tate told his dad.

I couldn’t even muster up the energy to turn and glare at my son. I’m such a sorry excuse for a mate and a mother. What kind of person can’t cook something as simple as spaghetti?

I slammed the pot of noodles onto the stove and pinched the bridge of my nose. This is a disaster.

“Why don’t you go and play while I help Mommy?” I heard Ambrose suggest to Tate.

“Okay Daddy.” Tate responded.

A moment later I felt arms circle around my middle. Tingles danced throughout my body and I sighed. It feels so good when he touches me. In any way.

Ambrose rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed my cheek. This is the most he’s touched me all week. Tears well in my eyes but I held them back. It feels like I’ve been alone again for such a long time, and being touched by my mate is something that my body craved.

So, I leaned into his touch.

“You’ve done a good job baby.” Ambrose told me.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re lying.” I stated.

Ambrose chuckled and I could feel it rumble through his body. f**k, this feels so good. Just to be in his arms and hearing his chuckle. All week it felt like he had been avoiding touching me or being alone with me.

Was I wrong about that? Was he really just busy?

“Do you want me to show you how to cook it?” He asked.

I turned around in his arms and stared into his eyes. Nodding, I wrapped my arms around his neck. Then I rested my head on his chest.

“Can you just hold me for a minute?” I asked in a whisper.

Ambrose held me tightly to him for a few moments. I soaked up all of the affection I was getting. This is what I needed after this week.

After questioning everything between us I needed something to hold onto, something that told me that Ambrose really did want me. Ambrose kissed the top of my head and slowly turned me around.

“Let me show you. I think we can still fix this.” He teased me.

*********************************************

Ten minutes later the dinner had been saved. Ambrose set a plate down for Tate who was thrilled his dad saved his food. I rolled my eyes.

When did my son become such a traitor?

We made small talk while we ate. It was nice. Usually it was Tate who would talk our ears off about school, now Ambrose and I were able to talk about how his week had been. He also asked me if I had found anything interesting in the archives.

I told him not really but that I was learning a lot about the supernatural world. Ambrose seemed proud of that so I took it as a win.

After dinner was done Ambrose took Tate for a run while I cleaned up. Tate loved going for runs with his father. I was growing more and more thankful that we found Ambrose when we did.

I can’t even begin to imagine where Tate and I would be without him. I had no idea how to raise a supernatural like Tate. I barely know about the supernatural world as it is. Thank the Goddess for his father.

A little while after I cleaned up Tate and Ambrose were back. I told Ambrose to go take a long shower while I put Tate to bed. At first he wanted to wait until after our son was asleep but I assured him that it was alright. Finally, he gave in.

Once he was back to our bedroom I got Tate in his pajamas and into bed.

“Are you gonna read me a story Momma?” Tate asked.

“I sure will baby boy.” I told him.

Tate picked out a book and was out before I even finished it. Going on those runs with his dad sure take a lot out of him. I think that’s why Ambrose waits until the end of the day to go.

I quietly got out of Tate’s room and into mine. Immediately I stripped out of my clothes and went to Ambrose’s closet. I took a shirt and rubbed it all over my body making sure I was coated in his scent.

Then I grabbed another shirt and slipped it over my head. I walked over to the mirror hanging on our wall and took my hair down. Running my fingers through it I made it a little messy hoping it looks sexy. Then I hopped onto our made up bed and tried to decide how to pose.

Goddess, I hope I don’t look like I’m trying too hard.

While trying several different positions the door opened and I awkwardly, hurriedly settled on one. I put my hand on my h*p and the other is holding my head up. Ambrose stepped through the door with a towel hanging low on his h**s. Water droplets were running down his chiseled body and I gulped.

s**t, my arousal has to be present now.

Ambrose’s nostrils flared and his eyes snapped to mine. His are darkened with l**t and it only made my own l**t worse. He held me with his gaze like a trance.

Is this working? Is something finally working?

“What the f**k do you think you’re doing Epperly?” He asked dangerously low.

“I, uhm, I thought that maybe we could spend some time together.” I said awkwardly.

Ambrose eyes trailed down my body slowly, igniting a fire in their wake.

“I already told you that we are not having s*x.” He said and then walked to his closet.

It felt like a cold bucket of water was dumped on me. My plan didn’t work. None of them. Ambrose barely seemed affect by me.

The book I read said this always worked for werewolves. It said that the wolf wouldn’t be able to resist their mate when she/he was covered in their scent. But Ambrose did. He resisted me.

Like he always does.

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed as tears filled my eyes. This was a huge mistake. All of it. I should have never kept trying. All it did was push Ambrose further away from me.

Now he doesn’t k**s me or ever want to be alone with me. I sniffled as tears began to fall. He doesn’t want me. That has to be it. He wants Tate but not me, not the way that I thought he did.

“Epperly, what’s wrong?” Ambrose asked.

I could hear his voice but I couldn’t focus enough to answer. My heart hurts. I feel so broken, so hopeless. Everything I want is right in front of me but I can’t reach it. Just like every good thing in my life, this is being taken away from me, and I don’t understand why.

Why my mate doesn’t want me, why I’m even here.

Through my blurred vision I could see Ambrose kneel in front of me. He reached up and wiped a couple of my tears away before I smacked his hand. I could just barely make out the hurt expression on his face but I don’t care right now.

“Don’t touch me.” I said in what I hoped was a stern tone.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked me and my heart broke more as his pet name for me.

“Don’t call me that.” I whispered since I was afraid my voice would break.

Ambrose gave me a confused look.

“Why?” He asked but I didn’t answer. “Why are you crying Epperly?” He tried again.

I stared at Ambrose for a moment.

He really doesn’t know? Ambrose is the one that did a total 180 on me over this week. Did he really think that I wouldn’t be affected by that? Maybe he thought that I should already be over it?

Well, I most certainly am not, and I sure as hell am not going to sleep in the same bed with someone who doesn’t want me.

Wiping my tears I took a deep breath and stood up. Ignoring Ambrose completely I walked to my closet and changed into my own pajamas. I could feel his eyes on me while I switched out his shirt for a pair of cotton shorts and a loose tank top.

Then I turned around and shoved past him without looking at him. I had my hand on the doorknob when Ambrose finally spoke.

“Where are you going?” He asked softly.

“To a different room.” I answered without turning around.

“You’re… leaving me?” His voice sounded so soft, so hurt.

Too bad it only pissed me off.

I turned around to glare at him. He was still standing by my closet. At least now he has a pair of boxers on instead of only a towel. It makes him slightly less distracting.

“You don’t get to sound like that. It’s not fair.” I said.

“Epperly-” He started but I interrupted him.

“I’m not sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t want me. You want me to stay here for Tate then that’s what I’ll do, for my son.” I said as more tears filled my eyes. “But I will not make you feel better just because I am your mate. I’m a person too. With my own feelings and everything. I’m not a toy.” I said as tears fell.

“Epperly what are you talking about? Is this because I won’t f**k you? You’re going to throw this big of a fit because of that?” He asked and I just stared at him with my mouth open in shock. “I told you I just want you to know what having my marks-“

“I know!” I shouted interrupting him. “I know what you keep saying. I heard you the first hundred times.” I said in a softer tone.

Then I shook my head and looked him in the eyes.

“You should have listened to me too.” I said.

Before Ambrose could say anything else I swung our bedroom door open, walked through, and then slammed it shut behind me. Hopefully that didn’t wake Tate. I walked down the hall where there are a couple other spare rooms.

Picking the one furthest from Ambrose I walked in and locked the door behind me.

Once I was alone in the room I leaned against the door and began sobbing. I put a hand over my mouth to try and hide the sounds as I slid down to the floor. What is going on between Ambrose and I?

I don’t understand this. I thought that he wanted me. He said he had been looking for me this whole time, that I’m his mate and he never wanted me to leave him again.

What happened? He says that he wants me to know what being marked means but does it matter when I’m this willing?

I never want to leave him, I want to stay here, forever. I want the life that comes with being his mate. I want to feel safe and loved.

Do I only get one of those things?

If that’s the case I don’t think I can stay here. I don’t think that I can stick around here for the rest of my life when my mate doesn’t love me back.

This was my last try, my last shot. I tried everything that I could possibly think of. Nothing worked.

Should I give up? If I do what happens next? What am I supposed to do?

Maybe I should keep reading more in the archives. I could figure out a plan for what to do next. Maybe if I can stay in this room I can stick it out for Tate. I don’t want to leave my son and I would do anything for him.

So, that’s what I’ll do. Tomorrow I’ll keep reading up so I can learn more and more. Maybe I can actually find something on Djin’s since I didn’t really look before.

Wiping the tears from my face again I stood up and got into the cold bed. This bed feels so empty and uncomfortable without my mate.

Is this the life I have to look forward to? Constantly depressed and hopeless? Goddess, I hope Tate doesn’t pick up on it.

I spent the next couple of hours tossing and turning. Ambrose never came running after, not sure why I thought he would anyways. It’s clear that he doesn’t want me.

How could I blame him? I’m a total wreck and a sorry excuse for a living creature.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because the same nightmare that I always have came back. Although, it was slightly different this time.

More terrifying.

*********************************************

I’m back at the lab I escaped when I was 13. Dr. Lucas stood above me while I’m strapped to a table. There are instruments and needles around me.

“Ho-how did I get back here?” I asked.

“You were dropped off here Zero.” Dr. Lucas told me with a fake smile.

“But.. You’re dead.” I said.

Dr. Lucas shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something but someone came up behind him. A familiar face that sent my panic into over drive.

“It is ready doctor.” Dr. Isabella said and then she looked at me. “Hello Epperly, haven’t seen you in a while.” She said with a smirk.

I shook my head.

“But you’re dead.. I watched you die.. I killed you..” I whispered confused.

Dr. Isabella chuckled.

“You did kill me.” She said.

“But we are all dead here Zero.” Dr. Lucas told me.

“Wh-what?” I stuttered out.

“She won’t be able to survive this? You’re sure?” Another familiar voice floated to my ears.

Ambrose…

Just then my mate stepped out of the shadows. He gave me a sickeningly wicked smile as he walked up to me. Ambrose brushed the hair from my face soothingly.

“Ambrose… W-what’s going on?” I asked him. “Why aren’t you helping me?

“Shhh love.” He cooed. “It’s going to be alright.” He told me and then looked at the doctor. “You’ll take care of it from here yes?” He asked Dr. Lucas.

Dr. Lucas nodded.

“Don’t worry Mr. Morningstar, we will take very good care of your mate.” He said with a sinister smile.

Ambrose nodded and then turned to me. He smiled down at me with a loving look in his eyes. What the hell is going on?

“Don’t worry my love, I will take very good care of our son.” He told me and then kissed my forehead.

“I don’t understand what is happening.” I whispered.

“I know love, I know.” Ambrose said softly. “But you don’t need to.” He said with a smile. “I am going to leave you here and raise Tate where he belongs, where he will be safe. We no longer have a need for you Epperly. Finally, we can all be free.” He said and then turned around to leave me.

“Wait!” I called after him. “I don’t understand what I did wrong!” I shouted but he never turned around.

Dr. Lucas peered over me with an enormous needle. Fear struck through me like I have never felt before. Dr. Isabella held my head down and to the side. I thrashed but it was of no use. She was too strong.

“Don’t worry Zero, there will be no more pain after this.” Dr. Lucas said with a sinister tone to his voice.

“No!” I shouted as he got closer. “Ambrose! Ambrose please! Help me! No! Ambrose!”

*********************************************

“Epperly!”

I woke up gasping for air and bawling my eyes out. My blurry eyes scanned the room and I realized that I was still in the spare bedroom of the home I share with my mate. Ambrose has his hands on my shoulders and is staring at me with pure concern.

I shoved his hands off of me. The tingles that normally brought me comfort only brought me fear right now.

That dream was different than the others. At least Tate wasn’t there this time but… Ambrose was. And not in life threatening way to him. He gave me up, gave me back to them. They were going to kill me and that’s what he wanted them to do.

Would he really do that?

Ambrose tried to reach out for me but I slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch me!” I shouted as tears rolled down my eyes. “Don’t ever touch me!” I shouted at him.

I ignored the hurt look on Ambrose’s face.

“Epperly I-” Ambrose tried but I started shaking my head.

“Don’t.” I whispered.

Pulling my knees to my chest I burried my head in them, and began to sob while holding myself ams rocking back and fourth.

“Go away.” I said but my voice came out muffled. “Just… leave me alone.” I whispered.

Sobs were tearing through my body. I’ve had nightmares similar to that one for years, many years. None of them left me this shaken up. The ones with Tate were the worst but at least when I woke up I knew he was safe. Now, I wasn’t sure if I am safe.

Would Ambrose really do that to me?

If you asked me four days ago I would have said no, but now.. now I’m not so sure. And that made me sob harder. My mate doesn’t love me, he doesn’t want me. Would it really be so out there to think he would give me up?

“f**k this.” I heard Ambrose whisper.

Before I could inquire what the hell he meant I was scooped up into strong arms. Sparks shot through my body but I tried to ignore them. Ambrose sat down on the bed and held me to his chest. I pushed on him but he wouldn’t let me go. For a few minutes I wiggled and squirmed in his hold trying to get him to release me but he never did.

Finally, I gave up and slumped against his body. I sobbed for what felt like hours. Eventually my body betrayed me and I stared to find comfort in my mates touch.

“I hate you.” I whispered when my sobs finally died down.

Tears were still streaming down my cheeks but they were silent now, everything is silent now.

“I’m sorry Epperly.” Ambrose said softly. “I never wanted you to hate me.” He said.

I scoffed.

Ambrose sighed.

“You don’t believe me.” It wasn’t a question so I didn’t answer. I just stared at the wall and listened to Ambrose’s heartbeat.

“How did you even get in here? I locked the door.” I asked. I was trying to sound stern or angry but honestly all of the energy left my body. My voice came out more monotone than anything.

“I know you did.” Ambrose said slightly angry. “I had already tried to follow you in here but when I heard you lock the door I thought you needed some space. I was waiting outside the door and was going to come in when you fell asleep.” He was waiting outside the door this whole time?

“Finally, after a few hours your breathing evened. I was debating on to give you some more space or not when you started screaming out for me.” He told me as his grip on me tightened.

“I screamed for you?” I asked as I looked up at his face.

Ambrose nodded as he stared straight ahead.

“You were screaming for me to help you and I busted down the door.” He told me.

“You what?” I asked and whipped my head around to see the door on the floor.

“It took you a few minutes of me shaking you until you woke up.” He said.

I turned my head back around and stared up at him. He was waiting outside for me this whole time. And then came running when I called for him. But he barely touches me anymore. He barely even looks at me.

What does all of that mean? I’m so lost and confused. Is this normal for supernaturals and I just don’t know it?

“What were you dreaming about Epperly?” He asked as he looked down at me.

“The lab.” I said vaguely.

Ambrose sighed and dipped his head down to rest his forehead to mine.

“You can’t sleep away from me anymore.” I think he meant to order me but it sounded more like he was begging me. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t deny him when he spoke like that. Even if Ambrose doesn’t want me I can’t help but want him.

“Okay.” I whispered.

Ambrose stood up, startling me. I gripped him so that he wouldn’t drop me. He walked us back to our bedroom and then kicked the door closed behind us. Thankfully Tate never woke up through all the drama. Ambrose lay me down gently in our bed and then crawled in with me. He pulled me close to his body and I snuggled into him.

“I’m sorry I told you that I hate you.” I whispered as my eyes fluttered closed.

“It’s okay my love.” He said as he played with my hair.

“I don’t hate you.” I said half asleep.

“I don’t hate you either baby.” He said.

I mumbled something else but I think it came out incoherent. Ambrose chuckled and I felt his body rumble under me.

Then sleep claimed me quickly.